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How to Deal with Rude People

July 23, 2010

Luke 6:27: ‘But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.’

I had intended to reflect on way more Scripture than this, but I couldn’t get past verse 27! What a seriously powerful message!!

Recently someone I hardly know was unbelievably rude to me, and my initial reaction was to get angry and upset, and try and work out a way of getting back at them. My reaction certainly wasn’t to love them and be nice to them – and this is why this reading is so tremendously challenging.

Enemies in the greek is those who are rude and hostile towards us, people who for whatever reason treat us badly. And rather than lash out Jesus challenges us to respond in a completely different way. The first word is Love which in the greek is agapao and literally means to have generous concern for, to value and esteem, to be faithful towards and delight in. And then there is good which in the greek is kalos and refers to speaking well of someone, praising and applauding them.

So if someone is rude to me or treats me badly Jesus is saying that I am to treat them with considerable respect like they are a close special friend or dear family member… wow. I read the Bible and God is forming me, smoothing out my rough edges.. and now I am ready to love my enemy and do good to them. This is nothing short of stunning.

Is it just me or does this Scripture challenge you?

God bless ya!

Mark

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128 Comments
  1. Cynthia Ramírez permalink

    Please tell me something because, I just received my Journey deeper e-mail and talks about loving our enemies. I have one: my daughter´s father! He has abused me emotionally and when we lived together also physically. Well he just told my daughter that if he do not get what he believes he deserves from us we won´t obta …in nothing from him. But one month ago he told me that I disgust him and he only stands me because for our daughter. I hope you understand me because I am not english speaker. Well one week ago he brouht his concubine to my house, eventhough I told him not to. He always take my daughter to that woman when he goes out with her, eventhough my daughter told him not to. Now he told my daughter that he is going to some place on Sunday and he wants my daughter to accompany him. But I do not want to take her to the airport, because I do not speak to him anymore he always yells to me, and he lately says me bad words. So, do I have to take my daughter no matter how he treats me?

    • Sharon permalink

      When I read your email, I was stunned. You are in a very tough situation. First, I want you to know that I will be praying for you. I can’t begin to know what you are going through, but I want to encourage you. God’s word says that “a soft answer turns away wrath.” If this man is not a Christian, then you have the opportunity to show him Christ through your words and actions towards him even though he is hateful to you. Like I said, I don’t know what you are going through. I haven’t walked in your shoes. Just know that someone is praying for you and that God will show you how to deal with this. Jesus is your everything, or I hope that He is. Do you know Jesus as your Savior?

    • Get the law on your side-please!!!Have you been to court and do you have legal custody of your daughter?If not the next time he takes her to the airport he could get on a plane with her and you will never see her again!!!Please talk to someone at the county public assistance building and they can refer you to authorities that will be on your side!!!Are you in a Biblr believing church?Get help from the leaders!!Do not limit yourself to Spanish speaking churches as they seem to have a MALE oriented mentality and don’t hold the proper respect for women!!!

      • Raysa permalink

        May God bless you in abundance.
        I am agree with you on getting some kind of legal advice on how to handle the situation; but very disagree on your opinion on Spanish speaking church and “their Male oriented mentality and don’t hold the proper respect for women!!!”
        Sorry, Collen; but I have to tell you that maybe you had a bad experience and had been scared for it, but in a Biblical rooted church the behavior is way different.
        I will be glad to invite you to my church, my small group, my pastor and my loving and caring church “Primera Iglesia Bautista de Deltona”
        Sis Cynthia, Do as Sis Sharon said. Excellent advice.
        What always work for me ( and may be very hard for now) is forgive. Ask God to help you to forgive and heal your broken heard so yo can be free.
        I will be praying for you, that God`s hand be upon you and your daughter, to protect you, to bless you coming and going for ever and ever.
        Confia en Dios y El hara, y prospera tu camino, no te apartes ni a diestra ni a siniestra y veras la recompensa que el te dara y la disfrutaras y lloraras de alegria al ver la mano poderosa de Jehova obrando en tu vida. Confia y no desmayes, porque Jehova tu Dios estara contigo Todos los dias de tu vida.

    • Ree permalink

      Pray for him. I ask God to come into your heart and give you the strength to rise above this spiritual attack. Pray for understanding. You and your daughter should pray for this together. Seek legal counseling as well.

    • Cynthia I am not here to talk to you about religion. This is about you and your daughter, period. Now, the fact that you are having doubts tells me that you are aware that certain things are just not right. Trust your instincts and go with it because ultimately you are the best judge of your situation as some have already mentioned in their posts, none of us really know what you are really going through and it doesnt matter because it is you who decides, you who faces the consequences. As another reader had mentioned, there will be prayer for you but my dear, trust yourself.

      Now, as for as loving your enemy. You can definitely love, them or send them love as love after all is unconditional regardless of one’s faults. BUT, it doesn’t mean that you have to be with them to do it or trust them if they have hurt you.

      freespirit33myblog.wordpress.com

    • oh waw, i have no clue if i could ever just forgive that way, i could move on but not forgive. Like synthia i was also in a very abusive relationship, luckily i have no children from him so i have the safety of never seeing him again. It is very hard to get over your abusive husband, especially if you have to see them all the time. I am still in the healing process and its been a year and a half that i have left him. Forgiving him is impossible, forgetting him is what i am working on.

      • Lynne permalink

        If we are to follow the scriptures then stay connected to the lord. Pray constantly. Ask the lord to keep you calm as he can. Do what you believe the lord tells you to do about your daughter and everything else. Step toward the lords wishes for you and your daughter. No matter what. Stay in communication with the lord every moment. Trust that he cares for you if you care for him and let that small voice inside you lead the way. Try not to worry. The lord loves your daughter more than you or your ex husband do. So don’t worry about her. The lord will handle every situation if you keep on him to do it. Whatever it is. Don’t let go of the lord no matter what. Trust that he is leading your whole life.

      • MaryMarthaKay permalink

        @ my intuitive mind: Yes you can forgive! It is a choice you make. I’ve been there… and done that. Forgiving is confessing (speaking) you forgive him; you may not forget for a long time; you can’t work on forgetting because when you work on it you are thinking about it over and over and over in your mind, making it bigger, and the stronghold gets stronger! God instructs us to forgive or HE won’t forgive us; even forgive them 7×70 times! Forgiving frees you! otherwise you may become sick, diseased, and miserable. Bitterness is the root and it must be rooted out ! Ask the LORD to help you forgive and forget. Ask the LORD to change your attitude about this situation and all the past things. We are instucted to cast down every imagination:
        2 Co 10:5 “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
        The enemy, the ole devil, will keep on holding you prisioner with a stronghold if you do not forgive! Putting it off until later will show up in your health, and in your life. Just speak the words, (speaking that you forgive him is an act of obedience) then ask the LORD to help you! He will help you, and He will change your heart; He has changed mine and he always helps when I ask! Forgive, and cast all your cares on the LORD ! HE WILL SET YOU FREE! The LORD wants you to know that HE LOVES YOU and is here right now for you!

      • rose permalink

        Forgetting is what is impossible, forgiving is what we need to work on and the only thing that will help you to heal. I too had an emotionally abusive husband which i left 15 years ago. I did not understand forgivness, untill i met Christ. I will always remember my past but throught the Love of Christ and the forgivness of my sins i haave come to forgive my ex husband. That does not mean I have to be friends with him and pretent that what he did was ok. NO, it means that i am not bitter toward him anymore and hold no resentment. I realize that he didn’t have God in his life and was following his own evil disires. I pray he will come to repentance and find salvation in the Lord because that is all that matters in this world.
        May God be with you.

    • You do not have to do anything for him, if your daughter wants to go then do it for her. Just pray for him and speak politely to him but sometimes loving our enemies may have to start out as avoiding them, to avoid hating them, then when you are stronger in this area, you can upgrade to doing good deeds. It doesnt help our own soul of we stay upset.But you must seek God with all your heart to be able to do this. He doesnt expect us to do everything he ask with our own will power, we have his power but we must tap into that power through much prayer. start small and just let God know that you want to love your enemy for His sake and to help you and guide you to be able to. It may take a long time for this to happen, so dont be down on yourself if you fail, just pray and try again, His mercy is new every day. this is not about how you feel about your enemy, its about how you feel about God, he knows hating someone makes us sick in our spirit and wants to save us from that, we are to have abundant life not misery, The more you love God, the more you will do good unto those who despitefully use you. He puts our enemies under our feet and saves us the trouble, we just have to love God, “pray for those who despitefully use you and it will heap coals of fire on their head” Besides, the best revenge is a well lived life. Learn to love God with ALL your heart, ALL your mind, and ALL your strength, then you will have strength like never before, the more you do good for God the stronger you will be and it doesnt make you a doormat, but a child of the King!

    • Cynthia,
      I’m not sure what country you live in, but in America, we would call the child protective agency http://centerforchildprotection.org/.

      Abuse is not God’s plan for us and he does not tollerate it nor expect us to live in these circumstances…

      I would avoid contact when possible with the abuser and get into the word about the Lord delivering you from your enemies. God will set up ambush against him if you praise the Lord in your circumstance.

      Jeremiah 29:11
      For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

      Matthew 18:6
      But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

      Go to http://www.biblegateway.com Key word search enemy and speak the Word over this situation, I’ll pray too.

    • I think you’ll like Alistair Begg’s expositional style of teaching the Bible.His entire catalog of sermons is available for free downloads.Visit his website.See what messages you’ll like to hear.He is a very special man of God with a heart for God and for His people.

    • Jenna permalink

      Hi…. wow… that’a tough situation. Well, I agree that you should always be kind to this man, but you also need to think of the safety of your daughter. If he wants to take her to a place that could endanger her life or well-being, you should not let him take her with him. If he wants to take her to a place that shows a lot of immorality, you also should not let him take her with him. This could damage her emotionally; while the first could damage her physically.

      On a general basis, it is always good to be kind, although it is difficult at times. There are times, though, when it is okay to stand up for something, even if the other person will call you unkind. If you are being kind while saying what you think, know this: that the person calling you unkind just doesn’t like what you’re saying. I’ll pray for you, and I hope all this helps!! 🙂

      • John Hunt permalink

        Good advice (some of the little good advice), spoken in the spirit of our Savior. I often ask Him for the wisdom to know the loving behavior and for the courage to do it …

    • Dear Cynthia

      I am so sorry that you have so much sadness in your life. I am so sorry that you can not get away from this man. I will pray for you and your daughters safety and that God will give you peace and safety. I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ touch your husband so that he will know the bad things that he does to you are wrong and that it will cause him to stop his selfishness. I pray that your husband will change his ways and that Christs enters his heart. In Jesus name dear Lord please help Cynthia find people to help her and her family. Give Cynthia the strength and power to fight this spiritual battle. Most of all let her know that she is in the palm of your hand. In Jesus Christs precious holy name I pray. Amen

    • Dee permalink

      I DON’Y THINK YOU SHOULD ASK MAN THAT QUESTION. YOU NEED TO ASK GOD THAT.

      AN I LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, GOD WILL GIVE YOU A SIGN AS TO WHETHER YOUR DAUGHTER SHOULD GO, AND AS TO WHETHER YOU WILL BE THE ONE TO TAKE HER.

      FOR EXAMPLE, IF SOMETHING COMES UP AND YOU CANT TAKE HER, YOU HAVE A BAD FEELING IN TERMS OF YOUR SIXTH SENSE/INTERNAL INSTINCT COMING UP TO THE DATE, ETC. PRAY, AND ASK GOD FOR A SIGN. ONLY GOD CAN ANSWER THAT ONE, MAN WILL ONLY JUDGE FROM WHAT THEY KNOW, GOD KNOWS ALL, AMD ALREADY KNOWS WHETHER YOU WILL TAKE HER OR NOT, SO JUST ASK HIM WHAT THE ANSWER IS. AMEN. PRAISE JESUS!

    • Laurel permalink

      No honey you don’t have to take your daughter. You are a valuable and lovable person and our Father does not want you to be emotionally or physically abused by anyone. You must believe that God wants you to be respected and treated well as you deserve. You are a Child of God and He loves you very dearly. Treat yourself well and do not allow this man to hurt you anymore in any way. May God Bless and be near to you.

    • Peter permalink

      You are in a bd situation and you must realsie this. Several otehr people have made very good suggestions whihc I fully agree with.
      1.Please please get help. Go toyrou local polcie authority or better if you have it your child protection agency. Again as others have advised you.Thsi man could take your daughter away and you NOT see her again.You DONT have to do this.
      2. Yes I also agree to prayers.I think they are very powerful, but The Lord also expects you to do yrou best to.So do this IN COMBINATION with getting what local( earthly) help you can…Quickly.Do not take your daughter to the airport.Please.I will pray for you as are others. God Bless you,He will.

    • Sarah permalink

      Cynthia- You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do much less feel uncomfortable with ESPECIALLY when it comes to your daughter. Unless the courts say you are required to do anything, then you shouldn’t have to do anything for him. When he starts treating you with respect that’s when you should give him privileges.

    • Julie permalink

      Cynthia,
      Please know that “love” does not mean “be a doormat.” Jesus loved Peter greatly but he told him to get behind him and called him “Satan.” Loving your enemy (your ex) means you speak respectfully and politely but it does not mean you let him abuse you with his words or hurt your daughter. Seek counsel – both legal and Biblical on this one. Allowing yourself and your daughter to be abused is not Godly. God calls us to use tough love sometimes. I will pray for you.

    • Tasha permalink

      Jesus loves you, Cynthia, as well as your daughter and your daughter’s father. If you obey Jesus and pray for him, bless him, and treat him kindly, I guarantee that God will help you and never let you down. God is faithful and when you act on his Word. He does not lie. As Him for guidance in prayer, believe that he will answer you, and most importantly – forgive him when you pray. With the Holy Spirit as my witness, God will hear you and answer you if you follow those steps.

      p.s. If you are having troubles forgiving him, ask Jesus to spften your heart and make you willing to forgive. Jesus will always give you the desires of your heart.

    • Kathleen permalink

      No you don’t have to take your daughter to the airport.

    • Ronda permalink

      Cynthia I want you to know that I have been in your situation so here is my best advice to you. First and foremost you have to follow what is written in your custody agreement. If it isn’t his scheduled time with your daughter then you don’t have to let her go. Secondly neither you or your daughter can control who he brings along on his scheduled time or where he takes your daughter unless it is an endangerment to your child. Now as for being kind to the man – yes this really does work. It has taken me a lot years to be able to deal with my ex husband – however after years of not letting his rude and nasty remarks to me get to me he has finally given up. At one point he told me I wish you would just disappear and that he pities me. Truth be told I pitied him for not realizing that his anger that he was directing towards me was really that he couldn’t deal with what he had done and instead of taking ownership of his own sins he directed towards me. That is one of the keys in this whole situation – that even though the anger is directed at you they are really that angry with themselves but refuse to take ownership of their own sins. I chose not to battle back but to rather show a kinder side at all times – it wasn’t easy and sometimes seemed impossible to do – however after many many long years my ex has now come to realize that he can no longer hurt me with his words or actions and instead has chose to show kindness even to go as far to help out when I need help and invite me to events that he planned on his scheduled time with the children. He has still yet to accept God as his savior and be saved but there is still hope for that. I still will not nor fully trust the man again but we can communicate and both enjoy our children in more kind and caring manner. I wish you all the luck – keep praying and forgiving him. God has great plans for you!

    • James K Partridge permalink

      Cynthia It is very possible, yes even probable for a true Christian (one who has believed God and recieved Jesus Christ into – “1st John4:2 & 4” – themselves to make grieviouse mistakes based on what they read or hear preached from the bible, (Yet The Bible has the correct answer to any and all questions). There are two types of Gods Word just like there are two types of yours and my words. There is our letters we write (like this Paragraph), and there is our “Voice” words. Being born again is like being born in the first place, that is we dont pop out of Mothers womb saying Hi Mom, Hi dad, No we pop out knowing absolutely nothing, nada. As we are fed or as we eat, we gro strenth and as we hear (voices) we begin to immitate saying mama, dada etc. Likewise as we feed The (written) Word of God (1st peter 2:2) into ourselves, we who are of the truth begin to recognize and hear our heavenly fathers voice (not in our physical ears but in our spirit ears (see John 14:26, John10:27). John 18:37 tells us that everyone (no exceptions) that is of the Truth hears Jesus Christs “Voice”. Faith comes from hearing (romans 10:17) not from haveing heard. what you need fom God is a “NOW” voice word, Just like Peter did (Matthew 14:28,29). Peter knew that a person cannot walk on water but He also knew if he could get a personal word from The lord then He could take a stand and walk out the word. After you pray (talk to Jesus, asking (Mark 4;9,10), then obey your gut (thats where your “spirit” is -John 7:38) as a mother & as a born again child of God. His promise (in writeing to you) is that “IF” you will acknowledge Him in the way that you choose to take. “THEN” He will direct your path (proverbs 3:5,6). Steps to take then in their priority are, #1 Believe Him as did Abraham – Romans 4:3… #2 Do what the written word saith in – Romans 10:8 thru 11, anounce to others with your mouth that you have believed The Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and that you believe God that He raised Jesus from the dead and that you are not ashamed to SAY SO…. #3 Decide to “boldly take action” on what your gut (spirit) feeling is telling you that you should do. #4 thereafter continually give thanks upon every remembrance of your prayer & action that “everything” that has happened, is happening, and will happen is working together for yours, your daughters, and your husbands good (Romans 8:26 thru 28)… #5 REMEMBER, “IF” things look like they are getting worse instead of better, do not let your mouth say what your natural eyes see but continually give thanks for what your heart desires and expects God to perform through many thanksgiveings (2nd Corinthians 4:13 thru 18 along with Psalms 37:1 thru 8. God bless.

    • John Hunt permalink

      I am man, so it may be difficult to relate. It is difficult to resolve problems that result from having children who are not protected by having parents who are married. I would pray for your daughter and your former lover. I would let them know you are earnestly praying for them to have a good relationship and salvation according to God’s will. I would admit my sins to my daughter. I would explain to your daughter any bad examples of by her father – not to condem him in her eyes, but ONLY AS NECESSARY for your daughter to know she should not follow any of his bad examples. If there is anything that is good within him (there usually is), FIND IT and tell both your daughter and him that you see it – especially when they are together. I would SINCERELY tell her of any good qualities of her father and tell her you both love her. Many men would simply be gone and ignore their children to avoid the painful reminder of their failures.

      As you are able, I would cheerfully conform to any non-sinful requests he makes of you. Do not allow yourself to be jealous of the relationship he develops with your daughter – she needs a father! If you are jealous, it will show up in your attitudes and behavior and it will hurt your daughter. The condition of your heart and attitudes will help determine the outcome.

      I believe, you should pray with a loving hope that each of you will react to every situation with God’s love and in God’s will. Do these things with an attitude of love for your daughter, sadness for and a loving understanding of the fallen condition of her father, while understanding and addmitting your own contribution to the problems.

      Our Lord might surprise you with the results. If not, then you will be loving (agape) as he has told us we should, which is important in itself. It is much more difficult to raise children when parents are unmarried – it takes much more wisdom and love. Do your best, pray, and let our Savior do the rest as He wills. You sound like you want to do the right thing and that is the best start you can make! I have prayed for you.

    • John Hunt permalink

      Cynthia,
      Although it costs us very little, there are many of us who stand on the sidelines while we encourage you either to love or to seek retribution. For many of them the advice sounds angry and resentful – some even sound as if they hate men – and these feelings are not hallmarks of our Savior.

      Unless you HONESTLY believe you are in great danger or expect her father will kidnap your daughter, be patient with your condition. When we look to agencies or man as our first resort we leave God on the sidelines. God responds to our needs while demanding only our faith and love.

      Count the cost and choose whether you want to follow Christ or the world. Today, as in Christs day, many people think the cost of following Christ is too high a price to pay. Loving others AS WE LOVE OURSELVES is very difficult and distasteful to many. If we all do our best to follow the way of Christ and seek His help, we would certainly put a lot of the “helping” professions including social services, police, and others out of work.

      Seek help from them if you HONESTLY need protection and perhaps specific justice. But do not use them as a tool to gain power or retribution over another simply because you can. That is not Jesus’ way, it is the worldly way. Count the cost of being called by Him on the last day; the cost to you on earth may be too high a price for you to pay.

      You need to decide whether to follow Him or the world. The rest of your life – here and hereafter – will fall in place according to your choice.

    • Chuks permalink

      Hello Cynthia,

      I know you are probably going through a tough time right now, and I can’t say I’ve experienced what you’re going through. But I do know one thing, that God is with you. He is not in any way pleased with what the father of your daughter is doing to you.

      I just want to let you know that I’ll pray for you. And I also want to encourage you to not hold any grudge against that man. Please trust God and seek counsel from your Church family. And I think you should also seek legal action as a last resort.

      Trust God and know that He will never abandon you. He loves you deeply and is always with you regardless of what you’re going through.

  2. Sister Pam OPA permalink

    Oh, I am challenged alright. As a known sinner, I know that I am capable of offending someone intentionally or unintentionally. Respectfully acknowledging the wrong goes a long ways toward repairing the relationship It is a challenge and who doesn’want a challenge?

  3. DyingtoLive permalink

    I really love this verse! I was recently challenged to pray for someone who had hurt me so severely I wasn’t ever sure I’d recover. Last week this person had a joyous event in their life and sent emails to me because he wanted me to get angry. God reminded me of this verse and I knew revenge was out of the question. So I prayed “God what do You want me to do?” and God answered “pray for him”. After I got over the shock of hearing it and verified it with God to be sure thats what He wanted I then prayed for this man and his wife. I asked God to bless them and meet their needs. The next day this man emailed pics to me and when I opened them up I began to cry but it wasn’t sadness. It was because suddenly all the hurt I was holding inside just left me. My spirit felt lighter and I experienced true forgiveness. At that time I was totally set free and I haven’t felt the slightest bit of hurt or anger towards this man since then. If I had chosen not to pray for this man then I would still be living with pain and anger. Through Christ I prayed for him and thats something I couldn’t do on my own! I know this comment is very long but I hope it blesses someone or speaks to them about a situation they are in. My whole life is changed because I prayed for my enemy! God’s way is always THE right way!!

    • frawg permalink

      Your comment reminds me of a similar situation…It took me 2 years and this verse for me to forgive my x for something I could not forgive him for while we were married thus ending the marriage. I got forgiveness and then told him that i had forgiven him. We both have remarried, and at times it is very difficult to not get angry about the things and situations that they create for me…but as God would have me do, I pray for them, especially him. I feel joy and free myself! I have always believed when you let someone control your emotions, they have a power over you…they control you …But Our Heavenly Father is the one in control and when you give it to Him, His love and mercies set you free.

    • WithLoveYouCan permalink

      Thank You for sharing. I am young in my journey and I have many steps until I reach the top of the Christian Mountain and I was very inspired by what you wrote. I do not always base my actions by the word and I am finding strength within other Christians words. Once again Thank You for sharing.

      • Cheryl permalink

        I have been a Christian all my life & was born again as a teenager. I have had struggles & have not always been a good Christian. I found out that I human & I will make mistakes. I have not always liked some people. I have been hurt by a lot of people. But the one thing I can do & I do every day. I pray for the person I don’t like. It’s not always easy but I pray for good. God doesn’t always answer but I know he’s there. I try to live as God would want. I’m not perfect & I never will be. I am always learning. I was told by a wonderful Christian that I’m a private Christian. I didn’t understand & he told me I’m a prayer warrior. I still don’t understand. All I know is I try & live a good life by example. When I don’t listen to God & have living problems & everything goes to pot. I try to pray for my enemies & people I don’t like. Not always easy but I do it. I turn my life over to God every day & whatever happens is his will not mine. I don’t know if this helps but I know it has helped me. Thank you

    • peace permalink

      Iam presently passing thruogh this same valley, someome wrong me a long time ago and each time i face a contact with the person i fell hurt, even a mention the the name brings hurtful memories. I have talk with myself so many time, I said i have forgiven the person. i just dont Know why iam still holding out on it.

    • Duduni25 permalink

      I would just like to know what makes you know the right thing to do. Deep down in my heart I know that revenge won’t do us any better, but sometimes people hurt us they make it impossible to forgive or to forget. I sometimes pray and ask God what is the best thing to do when a person hurts us. What can I do to make sure that it’s really God talking to me and not the little evil voice in my head? Deep down in my heart I know I believe in God but so much has happened in my life that I lost the deep connection I use to have with Jesus. Personally I think that it’s easy to say something, but doing it is a totally different thing because honestly it’s hard for me to pray for someone that I hate or someone who has done me wrong.

      • wendi d permalink

        Something I learned recently… When you know in your heart what the right thing to do is and you do it, you will have peace. Please do not believe the devils lie that there is anything in this life that is unforgiveable. Jesus tells us this: Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37
        How can we expect God to forgive us if we are unwilling to forgive?

  4. debbie permalink

    Last night I was listening to someone touching on this very subject. Jesus is drilling that message right now into us. LOVE YOUR ENEMIES. LOVE THOSE WHO HATE YOU.
    It was very interesting that the speaker went on to explain the way Jesus loved people. If there was a burning house next door to you and someone was trapped and you were the only one around would you go in and save them IF that person had raped your daughter, been nasty to you and caused all sorts of damage to your house and car and just been really abusive towards you? I had to stop and think……..most if not all would not go in and save that person. But that is Jesus love, LOVE YOUR ENEMIES!
    Yes, it challanges me and I am looking closely at the way I treat others and I do want JESUS LOVE in me!!! Greater is He that is in me!
    Amen!

  5. marilyn permalink

    This really takes the Spirit’s help … it is not a human response, and at the same time very painful.

  6. Danielle permalink

    I felt shame in reading this as I was the enemy yesterday. I was a taxing situation that has gone on for two months and when calling again, the customer service person was swearing at me! I was SO ANGRY!!! I hung up on them and sat in a cubicle fuming. I am blessed-at that moment my boss came over and sat to talk with me for almost an hour. He helped me to calm down and told me that this is only a set of repairs for some motherboards-we can always get motherboards-he can always take care of this…there were other options over anger. For me, my rude and “enemy” actions generally come from me wanting to take care of everything and make sure that everything is “right”, but that is not my job either!!!! I will work hard to breathe and find peace instead of reacting negatively-thank you for the inspiring post.

  7. Marcia Walsh permalink

    Thanks. I really needed this message today. A hand full of women I work with loath me and really try to be evil toward me, and have been for about 6 years now. It’s overbearing at times, especially because one assaulted me about 4 years ago and never lost her job over it. I cannot even disclose where I work, but it’s a professional level reputable place, or should be, I should say.
    They’ve been acting out again more than usual lately, and I’m just praying for God’s protection, charging his angels, and pleading the blood of christ. I don’t know why the lord has kept me in this office, but I guess it’s to pray for these enemies if nothing else.
    I’ve wondered what their justifications were in hating me over the years, and still can’t find one, or any of my friendly colleagues to explain the logic or point out a fault in me for any of it. I’ve done nothing, other than show up and work, and try to keep a distance from the ones foaming from their mouths.
    God bles…and always keep fellow christians protection in your prayers please.

    • Debby permalink

      Keep on doing what you know is right. The darkness hates the light, but with prayer all things are possible and you may eventually lead them to Christ.

  8. myka pettit permalink

    Well I know I don’t really know you, but I just wanted to thank you and tell you that you are doing a great job at these things. And this one about rude people has been favorite out of all them. I’m only 14 and I’m verrry small for my age and many people make fun of me for it, my boyfriend is 13 years old and everybody says I’m deseprate and what not for going with someone younger than me. I am very good with my words so I usually have some pretty good come backs. Of course there not very nice either. But once I read this thing you have, and read the scripture I realized that I should love all those people who make fun me, and not say anything rude back. But that’s all I wanted to say thank you so much for doing this it really has helped me out a lot (:

  9. Cindy permalink

    Thank you for speaking God’s Work Rev mark!

  10. Jann Mills permalink

    Loving your enemies is very hard to do. Forgiveness needs to come before you can love them, and also a constant renewing of the mind.

    God bless you

    In Christ Jesus, Jann

  11. Jennifer permalink

    Matthew 5:44 goes more in depth. “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who dispitefully use you and persecute you.” I have trouble with this verse at times. I too want to lash out right back at them.
    I want to come up with a mean thing to say or do next time I see them. I think God had me click on this to try and get it through my head.

  12. angela permalink

    Wow this scripture is definitely for me. I am in the midst of rudeness almost on a daily basis especially from my fellow christians. I know God is still working on me. THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER.

  13. Bob permalink

    You know that teaching is very important, but I never seem to read/hear about examples of what Christians are doing in these situations.

    • Tammy permalink

      All I know to do is pray. I pray for God to guide my heart and mouth. That I will not say anything that is not from God and sometimes just to help me keep my mouth shut and walk away.

  14. Jace permalink

    I face this challenge every day. Most the time I fail, but I do try hard. When I do fail, I remember what I am to do and I try harder the next time. And there will always be a next time. God bless!

  15. Danielle B. permalink

    Amen!!!! Mark,

    I’ts an Extremly hard verse to handle when yr in the situation all the time.
    As a Christain myself the Lord reminds me ” What would Jesus do”? Seems to help a lot.if you show love the People cant handle it!!!!

    • wendi d permalink

      I could be wrong, but your situation sounds similar to mine. The difficult thing is… It just never seems to go away. The constant work of the enemy. And tho you do your best to stay strong and do what Jesus would do. I fail. I am only human and I can only take so much before it over loads my circuits.

  16. Tanesha B permalink

    I am going to give it a shot today. I usually respond the negative way

  17. William Andreasen permalink

    I too have a long history of sinning. I also have some yrs of change. When I first heard of this challenge I was floored. I was told to pray for that persons happiness,prosperity and good health. It was explained to me, that I need to view that person as being sick, and to try to help them.

    This is so much easier said than done.

    I guess I will just keep trying until it becomes normal a normal habit….

    :o)

  18. jes permalink

    Also, Jesus had no problem putting the Pharasees (spelling?) in there place. Respectfully of course. I believe that God wants us to ultumately be kind to everyone and respect everyone, but to have respect for ourselves also. I have a situation where a man hurt my children, and I would go out of my way to be kind to this man, and hating myself for it. and getting walked all over. Now, I am respectful but still stand my ground.

  19. gramma kae permalink

    it is christian to forgive, we never forget. but do protect your daughter. if you are not married. you are ultimately the only protection she has. and you have.

  20. Tandorra Williams permalink

    Well I think everyone can safely say that haven’t always handled themselves in a loving manner when it came to someone screaming in their face. I know I haven’t… something changed though.

    It always begins with a question.

    Wow! This person is really angry.

    “I wonder what brought them to this point.”

    “Do they know how truly loved and cherished they are? If they did know, that love would really take the hot wind out of their sails.”

    “If God could love me at my absolute worst, then why can’t I love this person while they are at their worst?”

    These questions seem to help me when someone is rude or unkind to me without any obvious cause on my part. Perhaps I was just breathing at the wrong time. lol The point is, when you change your perspective away from yourself and through God’s… you start to see their broken heart… things change drastically.

    It is challenging. We all deal with flesh and the seemingly endless challenges it brings. That is part of the fun though. Finding new ways to see things through His limitless vision and not through our dirty, smudged and cloudy goggles.

    🙂

  21. Tracey Bratton permalink

    This so very true! I have had to use this passage many times. When you put it to use, most of the time, you will end up finding out that the “rude” person is going through some kind of trial in their life. By approaching them with the attitude of compassion, you allow God’s light to shine through you and possibly changing their outlook on the day they’re having. God allows us to cross paths with these “rude” people to answer their prayers of guidance and comfort. And then again, there are some people who may resent you and lash out even more, but you may plant a seed in their heart by loving them and showing them kindness. It’s not always easy, but with prayer and guidance, we as Christians, can do it : )

  22. Nezilcki permalink

    I have a rotten co worker that I see 5 days a week that unfortunately is my sister in law as well. I use to be really nice to her, but I found it just hurt me more because I found out she was still back stabbing me in the back almost on a daily basis etc. I love God but I don’t think I could ever respect this evil woman again. This is EXTREMELY CHALLENGING for me!

    • wendi d permalink

      It does hurt to be nice to people who constantly appear to hate and be wicked to you. God knows this. But by being good to them, you are causing a seed to be planted. It’s is painful and hard to know that “someday” we will be rewarded, but that is God’s promise to us. Don’t let her rob you of your reward.

  23. Chelsea permalink

    God works in mysterious way…I was Jux checking my Email on Facebook and dis page came up n said how to deal with rude ppl…i had 2 click on it bcuz yesterday I had a couple of rude ppl n I wantd 2 reach out n touch dem n den I used a lot of word dat I shouldn’t hve used bt… I was askin god last nite how can I win dis fight wen I wasn’t in Da word bt its makin it like I am cuz I reacted back rudely… lik ppl say…he might nt cum wen u want him bt he’ll b Der on tyme so dis is Da answer frm u MR.Mark

  24. Jan Balch permalink

    To Cynthia Ramirez:
    If you are married your first responsibility is to protect your daughter. If you are not married and have sole custody of your daughter you have every right to withhold the right for him to take her anywhere you or she does not want to go. Legally, if he has partial custody then you would have to get a lawyer involved to stop him from taking her. It looks to me that you have very powerful reasons for wanting to limit his involvement with your daughter. Fathers do have rights but not if they are damaging the self esteem and the development of their children. Pray for him often and ask GOD to give you wisdom in how to handle your ex. He will come through for you.

  25. I so love this verse also. It is a daily challenge. Especially this day & age where it is all too common to treat others rudely. To some, it is just part of their persona & think it is acceptable. I have to pray continuously that the Lord guide me in kindness & convict me if ever I am rude. Yes, this will be a challenge until the end for us all. I love the way the word guides us & challenges us to be more Christ like.
    Praise his name. And let us all go out & be kind & loving to the people we meet today.

  26. Yes, Mark, that scripture is challenging. I came from a background of abuse. Imagine being abused for 30+ yrs by your loves ones who claim they love you. Bitterness, anger, hatred, etc… is the human reaction. Jesus reaction is to love them anyway. He **is** under control and He will have the final say! Those who mistreated me will have to answer to God in the final days. As long as I love them and do good to them… I’ve done what Jesus asked of me. I don’t hate them. Amen.

    • Rachel permalink

      I too was abused by the people that adopted me and they claimed they loved me, butthey know the Lord and continously tear me down. I did pray about it. I kept going back to them while they tore me down and they thought I was oblivious to the whole situation. I wrote the older sister a note telling her how I felt and she never responded back to me. I prayed about it and sometimes I think walking away is the best solution for that. They know the Lord and that is what gets me.Sometimes maybe that is what the Lord wants us to do.

  27. paige white permalink

    ok.I am going to spell my guts across the nation. I was abussed bymy parents and i know that God loves me for he put me in my place when i did not reach my family for 18 years. i have had a lot of heart aches, trials, temptations and i tryed my bet to love them. I talk to my mom and she is in her 80’2 now and my dad is in almost 84. i all the now and then. God as Blessed me whith a loving person that shows me what Gods love is all about. THE AGAPE LOVE. I never knew what it neant until now. My life has been in a loving way to everyone especially towards my enemies. I still love my mom and my dad. i pray that someone wll talk to me and let me know. JOHN 3:16. IS MY FAVORITE VERSE. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING….

  28. Robin permalink

    Yes, this verse does challenge me, but then the bible does that. The most amazing thing for me is when I read a verse and I think wow that just happened and realize how relevant it is. I’m sorry to say that I often fall short of His expectations and I’m always thankful that He never gives up on me.

  29. Sharon permalink

    I deal with the public on a daily basis at my job. I encounter some very upset and sometimes rude people. This Scripture reminds me how I need to handle that. Thanks for the encouragement and teaching. God is good. His word is “profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” (2 Tim. 3:17) I praise God for His word! He loves me in spite of my shortcomings and failures. He lovingly teaches me how to treat others and to look at someone through His eyes. Thank you, Lord.

  30. Vanessa permalink

    I understand that the bible says love thy neighbor and enemy and turn the other cheeck and what not, but it also says help yourself and I will help you. I am sorry, if you are being abused, there is no need to put up with it. There is a legal system you can seek help from, warrants. Now if someone is bad mouthing you, fine you can ignore them and go about your business or put an end to it making clear statement about how they are so miserable with their own lives that they need to focus and try to destroy yours. I have never or would ever be submissive towards an offender. I believe in God, but I also believe in standing up for yourself. If you want to be walked all over, have at it, Survival of the fittest, only the strong survive.

    • Kathy permalink

      Vanessa, to forgive does not mean allowing someone to abuse you. You are right; we should seek help. God does not expect us to stay in an abusive situation, for example, where wife and children are being beaten. If we stay, we are enabling the abuser to continue, and that’s wrong – especially when children are involved. We need to leave; we need to seek legal counsel and protection. We can forgive the abuser while keeping a safe distance from him. The Bible does not permit or encourage abuse in any form or tell us we have to put up with it.

  31. Hebrews 13:1 says, Let brotherly love continue.

    13:3 says , Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body.

    I had a husband who was a bully – that’s not what a husband is supposed to be. 1 Corinthians says much about husbands and wives and who said “husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church”?

  32. Mark Reaves permalink

    Right on Brother. I’ve reasently had a tiff with my younger brother,over things that I done in my past before I knew the lord. I forgive him,but I think because of his so called high status he’s not able to forgive me. Thats ok because I know that the devil is always tryin to break up relationships and familys. He thinks I’m strange because I worship in the Messianic way. I belive Y’shua died for my sin and has delivered me from sin and death. he’s my Lord and King!! Glory to ha Shem!!! Great site I hope I can give some in put. God Bless.

  33. kathene permalink

    i have been fighting my insides trying not act on my feelings i recently was propose to and them the guy that ask me to marry him jus up and married someone else i try not to hate him but i was deeply hurt i have been divorce for 10 years i got my heart ripped out of me i was num on the inside for so long i try very hard to protect my heart because of it i dont have alot left in me i dont ever try to get even i try very hard to forgive cause i no god expects that of me i dont ever take refringe i no thats gods job i jus wish that i could stop getting my heart broken im to the point where i dont even have trust in a man please help me understand why i feel this way god bless

  34. Peggy Carver permalink

    After reading this message, I did feel somewhat ashamed about an incident that has been ongoing in my life for about 16 years. “It’s my husband’s ex-wife”. She stalked me for 10 years, it took really being ugly to her before she would stop along with a court order. I have been treated so badly by my husband’s mother because I just got to the point I refused to give in to the grand-daughter (whom the mother in law is obesed with) and ex-wife’s demands. I didn’t know them before they divorced although I am treated as if I caused the marriage to break up. The ex-wife ran around on my husband with the same man that caused her other 2 marriages to break up, go figure. Any account, I try to give the step daughter everything as if she were my child because I choose to. It’s to buy her but I do what I do for her from the heart. I treat all of our children the same even though my children are by a different father. The children are not small, they are 20, 24, and 30. They don’t associate each other as “step” children and they recognize each other as “sister and brother”.. which I’m happy about. But the ordeal with the ex-wife, she thinks we should have dinners and functions together, because “it’s for the dauther” and it’s always the same excuse. “We don’t want to hurt her feelings” per the mother. For the wedding of the daughter I did very, very well and participated in everything I could and nearly collasped from the stress of the ex-wife separating from her 3rd husband, us moving the daughter out of the home before getting married (3 weeks), asking the ex-wife to pay her part because the vendors asked us to have her pay because she had not as of the day of the wedding, down to having dinner with the ex-wife’s family, the list goes on and on.. Any account, we were put into a situation this past week to attend another dinner for the daughter’s birthday, with the ex-family.. No one talked. We arrived 3 minutes past the time we were told to come, they all arrived 15 minutes early, had ordered and were at the salad bar when we arrived. Needless to say, noone said a word unless I asked a question and it was answered. It so awkward and then when the daughter opened our present which was a very, very expensive gift,(what she wanted) and she absolutely showed no appreciation whatsoever.. she was more appreciative over a candle and a sun dress her mother gave her.. we(my husband & I) left with a feeling that we would never put ourselves in this situation again, no matter what, which includes the birth of children, etc, we have tried to make the best of a situation but the ex-wife just emailed me yesterday and was upset with me because she asked if we had a “nice time at dinner”.. well, I told her we enjoyed the function afterwards as we felt a bit awkward at dinner and left it at that. She got upset and proceeded to tell me that XXXXX was the daughter’s father, that her family tried to treat “me” with kindness and wanted to know if anyone had ever not treated me with kindness, Truth be known, the ex-wife’s mother was rude on many occasions to me, and just looked at me up and down and walked away being snoddy… AND she’s supposed to be a Christian… well.. I’m sorry but I feel I just need to step away from this before I say things that will cause a major blow up.. I have bent over backwards to give and all I get is heartache… how can I feel nothing but anger in this situation. I have even felt like just throwing in the towel and divorcing my husband just to get out of all of this.. I love him dearly but I don’t deserve this treatment. He is very stern and heartless sometimes with his ex-wife, which I don’t blame him… he has very hard feelings and won’t budge unless I beg him for days to let’s just do the right thing… but It’s my feelings that get hurt if I don’t do what they want me to do.. I’ll be the one that my husband’s family won’t talk to for months, and the ex-wife will call and call the husband even though he won’t take her calls. It’s a no win situation… BUT I feel ashamed because I told her the other day to stop throwing up the past at us and things would eventually calm down.. She posted on FB: no matter how hard I try to be nice, it always blows up in my face”. ????? I just don’t know what or how to deal with this anymore.
    How do I deal with this??? STRESSED.

  35. Nancy permalink

    This is a good lesson,here where I live our manager of our apartment complex is very tense and we tread lightly. I don’t know whats going on with her,I do know that she does not know Jesus and seems always to be in fear.She is our new manager 3yrs? and a lot of folks have been evicted and we don’t know who is next or why. So I will pray for her and treat her like I want to be treated[this opportunity will be a real challenge].

  36. Lenda permalink

    Mark you incourage me I try to read your posts every day thank you/.. I have been challanges the past month to love my enemies and they have been lashing out at me for my christian views..Praise God He is using me as Pastor Jon Courson preaches If your name is know in hell. Well aur name is on the hit list buddy.. On the front lines with hell gane yahoo

  37. Lydia reyes permalink

    thanks for those words. I surely needed to hear them. God always has a lesson to teach us and this one is one of the hardest, but with his guidance we can overcome anything. Keep believing and trusting in the amazing GOD we serve.

  38. Cherie permalink

    I was n an abusive relationship for about 4yrs. low self esteem I was depressed, feeling sorry for myself and always trying to escape n my own strength. When a friend witnessed to me bout Jesus and him making me free with the truth of his word, and strengthening me,i was baptized. When we have 2 discuss decisions about our 2 children together, I can talk to him with no negativity present. Awesome is the God we serve. He Has All Power!!

  39. I’ve had to learn to deal with this issue the entire time I’ve been saved. One example was a lady showing anger and jealousy when we were on the same Gospel singing programs. I never could figure out “why” or what I had done to her. Everyone kept saying things like “she had the devil in her.” But I knew my life had been completely changed and that I was obligated to find a way to get along with her and forgive her if I were to grow in my faith. I prayed and cried each night for 3 months. At first I saw no change, but at one of our nursing centers she came up for prayer and I hugged her and told her that I loved her..she said she loved me to, but I knew in my spirit that was not true. I continued pleading with God to help me. Suddenly something happened and we both noticed that we could not “remember” any problem between us. That was the strangest thing of all…we both just seemed to “forget it.” I knew those 3 months of continued prayer and asking for God’s help had worked. I will never forget it as long as I live.

  40. ADEBAYO, Oluwakemi Odusaga permalink

    I work in an office where insolence and disrespect for fellow colleague thrives. But with this message, I have resolved by the grace of GOD, to love even the unlovable…

  41. Wow! God’s timing is always perfect! I know you’ve touched this subject before, (I’m a true “Journey into God’s Word” follower.) and everytime this verse comes up in your page it’s at the perfect time in my life when I need to learn how to deal with people who are unbelievers, unhappy, and want to taint others with their misery. Those that are closest to us are usually the ones that hurt us the most and that probably bring out the worst in us. The more I build my relationship with God the more I learn so much about myself and how to become a better person in his eyes. I’m going to take this lesson to work on how to handle rude people and “love thy enemy”. I want to spread the love God has for me unto those people who haven’t discovered His true love and mercy.

    Thank you Pastor Mark and to all the other Brother’s and Sister’s who commented on this topic. You have all blessed me today.

    God Bless you all!!!!!

  42. About a month ago I had a phone conversation with my 34 year old daughter, She is very angry with me for a lot of the things that have gone wrong in her life, and she screamed at me to “shut up” and hung up on me. We have not spoken since and she will also not let me talk to my grandchildren. We used to be very, very close and she used to tell me that I was her best friend. I know that she is having a very hard time in her life, but it also hurts me very, very much that she can be so mean and disrespectful to me. I need to pray for her and I have, but it’s hard to forgive her.

  43. sherry lundquist permalink

    *IMPORTANT*…………..know that this is a spiritual battle we are fighting……we are up against the unseen…..you must seperate the fleshly body from the spirit….it is what is inside these people that we hate….the people are unaware that they are a host….what is inside of them is taunting and RUDE to you….seperate them every time…by lashing back you are letting the taunting rude spirit win….and the battle belongs to the Lord….pray for the person and take authority over what is controlling them….the war is already won so Praise God and dont lash back at them….u cant rationalize with them….just pray and know you have forgiven them because they are lost…..remember seperate the spirit from the person that is being controlled….and may God bless u and keep u all!!!!

  44. I would say to all to challenge yourself to be like Christ. Love your enemies, pray for them that spitefully use you.
    Where would we all be if Christ had hated his enemies and instead of dying on the cross, retaliated. We would have no hope, no salvation.
    If ever a person had a reason to harbor hate or desire vindication it was Christ. What if He had said on the cross, “Sorry Father, but I cannot die for this one, he’s hurt me too much”. Where would we be?
    Our lesson is in looking at what Christ overcame to bring us salvation!
    He fought the flesh and won and we can have that same strength if we will but humble ourselves and pray, put away our selfish desires and let God’s will lead us.
    Pray for God’s love for others to be revealed to you.
    Ask Him to help you love them as He loves and you will feel it.
    Pray for His strength to help you, His wisdom to guide you, His protection over you, and His peace upon you.
    And remember the saying “hurting people hurt people”. Those who hurt others are hurting inside. Their pain may just be that they don’t know Christ. How do we reveal Christ to them to heal their pain? It will not be done through harboring hurt or retaliation, it will be done by following Christ and living our lives for him.
    We won’t be perfect, but He is!

  45. Thank you, Mark!

    I have difficulty with this. I have an older brother and I’m going to a community college after having been homeschooled all my life, so my immediate reaction to people’s hostility is to be as defensive as I can. If my brother’s being obnoxious and saying really hurtful things, I might kick him in the shins. If someone at school is being excessively obnoxious or harassing, I will threaten or embarrass them, though sometimes I just completely ignore them.

    It’s how I protect myself emotionally and tell people to back off.

    Obviously what I do is something Christ wouldn’t do or have done.

    However, last month I rode my bike to the grocery store. As I was unlocking my bike, an older man came up to me and said, “I want your bag. I want your pants. No, I’m just kidding. No, really. I want your pants.” It turns out he “wanted” them because they were both Adidas and he liked Adidas. But I’m a 19 y/o female and did NOT find this funny. I got really angry and started shouting at him in front of all the customers coming and going. I told him that is NOT something to joke about that people HAVE been mugged in that very parking lot. He went to his car, and I got in my bike and rode off as fast as I could.

    My reaction was not showing kindness to my enemy, but I’ve been taught that one of the best self defense tactics for women is to shout and get angry at potential assailants.

    So my question is this: Where is the line between self defense and protection, and just “getting back” at someone?

  46. Natalie permalink

    Have you ever heard the teaching of pastor Scott?
    Its great teaching straight from the Bible and translated
    out of the original languages.

    Please check out http://www.pastormelissascott.com

    You will love it!

  47. Latin Rite Catholic permalink

    Beautiful post!

    http://secularsaints.wordpress.com/

  48. Mr. Google permalink

    Hi Mark,

    Great post, I think this is something we all need help with and something we must constantly embrace. Controlling your emotions is one of the biggest steps to true independence. I read two great quotes today, unfortunately they are not from Scripture, that really help understand both anger and people who are rude.

    Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.
    – Buddha

    Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
    – Buddha

  49. this is so inspiring it make me to remember dat God is always wth us where ever we go.im currentl in a abusive relation ship wth a man that tretans me,abuse me phisically and emotionally i so traped i dnt know how can i get out of this i tramatised dis guy is in control of my life so badly i hate him i even wishes smthing bad could happen so dat i can rhbe left free .but after i have read all of thougths guyz .i can see its only God who can take me out of this i m inviting God to take control of my life .i also request you guyz to put in your prayers i m even plan of rellocating and the town

  50. I grew up in a small rural town with less than 3,000 people amidst thousands of acres of farmland. Everyone knew or at least recognized each other and were friendly in town and on the roads. If a neighbor needed anything, all of the towns folk would contribute. It was a kind, courteous and respectful community. I was brought up in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, and my grandfather was a renowned pastor throughout the whole west, so Christian values were strong and deep in my life.

    A few years ago, we lost the farm to the bank and had to move to the city. Also, I am attending university here. I have struggled very much with the way people act here. I come from a slow pace of life but I do things with deliberation. I don’t go 10 miles under the speed limit or dilly dally in public as to inconvenience others. I am able to keep up just fine. But still I encounter people everyday who almost seemingly are rude to me on purpose. And it is not just me. I see people being rude to everyone. And I cannot stand it. I was taught to be courteous, respectful, and considerate of others and I see people cutting in line, physically shoving others, rude remarks and sneers, middle fingers all over the place, people talking loudly or laughing about some text messages they receive in the movie theatres so that no one can hear the movie, door-dingers, and don’t even get me started on traffic.

    I fear for my sanity in this metropolis! But above all, I fear for my actions. I often find myself yelling at the car who nearly t-bones me, shushing inconsiderate people in the movies, pointing out when people are rude to them, and responding harshly to people who snap at or sneer at me. My aunt told me to wave at the people being rude or mean to me and say “Have a wonderful day.” and mean it. I just don’t know how. I have been trying and trying but I just can’t stand to be around this type of environment. It’s a ME ME ME, WHATEVER, selfish, inconsiderate world and I am over-whelmed.

    Are there any baby steps I can take that might help me retain my sanity, dignity, and Christian way of living? My mind can’t see past MY remedy for it all (scoldin and hollerin).

  51. Susan permalink

    I feel so bad when I am the one who says something bad that hurts another or when I let my buttons be pushed. I know that is not the way I am supposed to respond. Lord forgive me and help me to respond EVERY TIME in Love.

    • Me too Susan – I just react to the emotion of past and present. I pray the Lord helps all of in that situation.

  52. Mary M Wright permalink

    WHY would anyone put Yahweh Yarn. When talking about the BIBLE?

    • Kathy permalink

      Good point, Mary. The dictionary defines a yarn as a tall tale, improbable and most likely exaggerated. That certainly does not describe the Holy Bible. Mark, if you see this, perhaps you would consider changing the title of your one year reading plan. The Bible is not a yarn. Thanks.

  53. RoseMary Potter permalink

    What a perfect verse. I really needed to hear that. It’s very hard and I would say impossible to truly do all those things to and for in that situation, without the strength and love of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen

  54. Holly permalink

    I don’t get this…. I had a business partner that was a dear friend so I thought. I came up with a great idea on a new product and she disappeared for a week. I found out she took my idea and started her own business. I was so mad that I started making the product myself. I lost my retail store and went into a mountain of dept. I finally started pray to god to help me to forgive her and that he would bless her. I truly missed my friend. I saw her the other day and she is doing very well. She has her house paid off and just bought a new car. I am looking at foreclosure and I lost my car and it seems everything I touch turns to crap! I feel like Job! How does forgiveness help me?

  55. What do you do about a manager who acts like a bully’ gives certain people the crazy schedule.Knows that she can either fired you or keep you.She has that authority and used it well.Makes me close a night and I don’t drive so I am in the street until 12:30pm when I make it home.I keep praying for her but she erks me so much,,My knees hurt so bad being on my feet so long, because of the arthritis in my knees.Some weeks I work 6 days straight.No one seems to care about anyone on this job.I need my job because of bills I have to pay.Please keep me in your prayers and pray for healing in my body..

  56. lLYNN permalink

    Gods word tells us to forgive and to pray for our enemies. it’s not an easy thing to do, but with Jesus as my guide i have learned to pray blessings upon those that hurt me, are rude to me and i find myself feeling compassion for them. it doesn’t always come right away, but it does come to me eventurely. and for the women that are in abusive relationships, get out as soon as you possibly can. pray for your abuser and find it in your heart to forgive them, but get out. it is not Gods will that we be used and abused, i endured years of abuse because i thought it was not right in Gods eyes to divorce. but i was told by a godly man that it was not Gods will for me to stay and maybe get killed . i endured emotional, physical ,and sexual abuse in this marriage and it was NOT GODS WILL.

  57. Cognizant Existent permalink

    Since God is everything and never changes from being that to contain that. to argue is liken to have separation, like the signal not going to one part of the body which is perceived as pain an argue that does not have communication is like hurt, like a finger that does not heal because it is festering with and not in agreement. Realize if God is everything. that enemy is part of God, since you are in the collection of EVERYTHING(OD) you separate and listen not with openness. It takes two to have a house divided. It takes two to mend both sides of the fence and make a gate to one another. Lets stop cutting off which is very much you,,,okay…LOVE YOUR ENEMIES…respect yourself to respect love, Can’t we all just get along. – Rodney King.

  58. Nancy Webb permalink

    Just what I have been working on……glad to know I am not alone! And with effort, it does work!!

  59. Joann permalink

    I have someone at work that has had it in for me. I’m training to do her job and she is about to retire. She doesn’t talk to me and if she does she belittles me for a mistake i have made. I want to scream at her, but instead i dont speak. I walk away and don’t say anything. She is very rude to me. And I think God is using this for me to grow, so that I can learn his ways. I generally am very sensitive. I am a born again believer but I am not in the Word all the time.

  60. Deborah permalink

    this is a great verse and challenge puts it mild. We must be challenged to walk with Christ and for Christ. Let’s strive to love our neighbors and pray for those who are rude and mean – God’s way is not our way and we must follow his example in love

  61. shammy permalink

    hello needs some advice i have been married for almost three years. twice my husband has cheated with his childs mother. this last time she is pregnant and shes saying its his. i guess my question is she says she a christian women, but what christian does those things. when i found out about the baby and i ask her about it she lied and said my husband have told me. which i agree but when the truth came out she lied about it. she still saying its my husband but she still starting confusion in my life and she a christian. im a person who believe in vows and marriage and at this point i could never accept the baby. am i wrong for wanting to let it all go and let the marriage go and the drama. it to much and i done all i can do. my husband has promise he will never to it again and that day he told her that what they did was wrong. she got very upset and he didnt get to see his child for awhile and now i know why. how do i love someone like that

  62. Bob permalink

    I just wish some of these rude xtians would read this….lol

  63. Cathy T permalink

    This is very challenging. I am actually encouraged that others find this as difficult as I do. I try to remember that the enemy uses our flesh and pride against us. Have u noticed that rude people will say or do the thing that irritates you the most? It is a snare to get us to ruin our witness to others but God allows it as a tool to refine us and to increase our reliance on Him. About physical abuse, you need to remove yourself from that situation, but for those annoying rude hurtful people, we need to put on the full armor of God and be ready to do battle. Remember, we are in the last minutes of the last days and these people are lost and unsaved. As Christians we will be subjected to more and more rudeness because the enemy knows his time is short!

  64. A few years ago I was in a relationship with a alcoholic.I truly loved him and his children.We lived together and he became abusive,physically and mentally.Anyways,we were engaged,split up briefly,got back together and then out of nowhere he moved to Texas( I found out while at work)and he married his stepsister.I want to move on,but I can’t stop thinking about him and how deeply he hurt me.I know many will say I am better off;which may be true,but we did have special moments(mostly when he wasn’t drinking)and those are the times I think about the most.I’m a very compassionate person whose been left and abused most of my life,why can’t I find someone I deserve and forget about this man who left me for his stepsister?Please pray for me,Thank you.

    • wendi d permalink

      Willa, I am reading a book called Free by Brian Tome. There is a work book that goes with it. You can find both of them on half.com for little to nothing. It’s all about dealing with being trapped by our own fears. It has helped me to realize that because of the things that have happened to me in my life, my perspective of myself is distorted. It is easy fun reading. He has a great sense of humor. Sometimes God takes things away from us because He wants to give us something better. You are a beautiful child of God! I will pray that God helps you to see this.

  65. Nickie Stevens permalink

    On the subject of love; I have found it often and it is very common for people to have a mis-understanding about love.

    Many people believe that it is some kind of surreal experience whereby they are other-worldly mezmerized into some kind of hypnotic trance or experience toward someone else.

    Love exhibited is a determination to like, to be affectionate, and helpful to someone. It is doing what is right when often you may not feel like it. It is expressing your concerns for the other person that you may not have liked nor wanted to be around. You reach out to them in compasion regardless of how you feel about them.

  66. Vanessa permalink

    I have actually put this into practice over the last several months, and I am so glad that my initial reaction, which would of been anger, now is reflection and consideration for the other parties reasoning. Although it may be delivered in the wrong way, it has sometimes been correct! I have even apoligized for not thinking the whole situation through, and being more understanding of someone else’s viewpoint or situation. I thank God for virtue – that being Patience, which most everyone needs more of!

  67. denotchka permalink

    Pray for me,I have my moments, but I try not to be. easier said than done at times especially when you’ve been INTENTIONALLY PROVOKED! Long story and 2-way seremon.

  68. Bennie permalink

    I love the bible! It has some short comings based on its view of the world and its people. As it was written long ago. The bible made no provision or advise for today’s society. You cannot deal with the today’s violence, the cribs, the bloods, the drug cartels, greedy poiltician, racist groups as you would back in the time that Jesus walked the earth. To do so, may land you in heaven before your time. We cannot tweet the bible cause it has already been written. So, if our being treated badly by the cribs or the bloods or some drug cartel, you can tell them that you love them…while your running!

  69. sandeep permalink

    sir,
    u said that it is written in BIBLE to love enemy.but 2day only two persons(my co workers) fought very rudely when i tried to convince them one got calm and another became angry and came to beat me but i trust in god so i wasn’t hurted by him but i hate dat guy
    if i try to talk vth him nicely also he was not listening to me
    then how can i help him and how can i love him as said in bible?
    i am a Christian one is Muslim and another is Hindu
    what is da soulution 4 dat?

  70. Psalm 46;1&2 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble…Therefore will not we fear,though thee earth be removed, and though the mountans be carried into the midst of the sea. Psalm 55;22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD,and he shall sustain thee:he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved..Jhon;14;27 Peace i leave with you,my peace i give unto you:not as the world giveth,give i unto you.let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid..here are some scriptures for freedom from worry

  71. MaryMarthaKay permalink

    Yes Mark, it is challenging! All kinds of thoughts run through our mind when someone is rude! But we must train ourselves to obey the LORD and: “cast them down”

    2Co 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

    Then we can walk in the LOVE of GOD, even though our flesh may still be having a problem!

    Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.

    God Bless you and every work of your hands for the Kingdom of God, for HIS glory! AMEN!

  72. Holly permalink

    Father I come to you in the name of Jesus, Please help us to understand that we still have human feelings, help guide us into your way. We all know that it is difficult to step away from our knee jerk reactions. Please guide us away from our enemies and give us the strength we need to forgive, love and pray for them in his name. I pray that you rain on everyone on this page so we can have the peace and the blessing that you have promised us as your children.
    In The Name Of Jesus, Amen.

  73. John Hunt permalink

    Thank you for the clearly-stated reminder, but, duhhh …, this behavior should be obvious to us from His word and deep in our hearts we know it is true. However, we usually rationalize a response that does not conform to His example of love. We (think we) can finding cover from the clear word of God.

    It is much more honest to acknowledge God’s word – even as we fail to act according to His will when we are spitefully abused – and commit ourselves to do better the next we are similarly abused. Over time, this approach turns bad reactions into loving reactions. The result is a feeling of satisfaction that our change in heart is pleasing to our Lord

  74. brondolan permalink

    Great post, I think this is something we all need help with and something we must constantly embrace. Controlling your emotions is one of the biggest steps to true independence. I read two great quotes today, unfortunately they are not from Scripture, that really help understand both anger and people who are rude.

    http://brondolan.wordpress.com

  75. James K Partridge permalink

    Please notice that the verse reads – TO you which “HEAR”. Not to you which “READ”. reading the letter and not hearing Gods “VOICE” in your spirit can only kill you (that is it causes you to see that you are “dead” in trespasses and sins – Ephesians 2:5). Then “hearing” brings Faith (romans 10:17) and hearing imputes eternal life John 4:24,25.It is very possible, yes even probable for a true Christian (one who has believed God and recieved Jesus Christ into – “1st John4:2 & 4” – themselves to make grieviouse mistakes based on what they read or hear preached from the bible, (Yet The Bible has the correct answer to any and all questions). There are two types of Gods Word just like there are two types of yours and my words. There is our letters we write (like this Paragraph), and there is our “Voice” words. Being born again is like being born in the first place, that is we dont pop out of Mothers womb saying Hi Mom, Hi dad, No we pop out knowing absolutely nothing, nada. As we are fed or as we eat, we gro strenth and as we hear (voices) we begin to immitate saying mama, dada etc. Likewise as we feed The (written) Word of God (1st peter 2:2) into ourselves, we who are of the truth begin to recognize and hear our heavenly fathers voice (not in our physical ears but in our spirit ears (see John 14:26, John10:27). John 18:37 tells us that everyone (no exceptions) that is of the Truth hears Jesus Christs “Voice”. Faith comes from hearing (romans 10:17) not from haveing heard. what you need fom God is a “NOW” voice word, Just like Peter did (Matthew 14:28,29). Peter knew that a person cannot walk on water but He also knew if he could get a personal word from The lord then He could take a stand and walk out the word. After you pray (talk to Jesus, asking (Mark 4;9,10), then obey your gut (thats where your “spirit” is -John 7:38) as a mother & as a born again child of God. His promise (in writeing to you) is that “IF” you will acknowledge Him in the way that you choose to take. “THEN” He will direct your path (proverbs 3:5,6). Steps to take then in their priority are, #1 Believe Him as did Abraham – Romans 4:3… #2 Do what the written word saith in – Romans 10:8 thru 11, anounce to others with your mouth that you have believed The Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and that you believe God that He raised Jesus from the dead and that you are not ashamed to SAY SO…. #3 Decide to “boldly take action” on what your gut (spirit) feeling is telling you that you should do. #4 thereafter continually give thanks upon every remembrance of your prayer & action that “everything” that has happened, is happening, and will happen is working together for yours, your daughters, and your husbands good (Romans 8:26 thru 28)… #5 REMEMBER, “IF” things look like they are getting worse instead of better, do not let your mouth say what your natural eyes see but continually give thanks for what your heart desires and expects God to perform through many thanksgiveings (2nd Corinthians 4:13 thru 18 along with Psalms 37:1 thru 8. God bless.

  76. Carina Sue Carole permalink

    Cynthia… I’m not sure how this comment thing works and I didn’t sit here and read everyone’s comment, but as I did read yours and I can truly feel where you are coming from, I am compelled to respond to you. I was in a very abusive marriage for 16 1/2 years and though I could never understand why, I believed God had a reason for wanting me to stay in that relationship for as long as I did… When I finally chose to file for divorce, which was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make, my daughter was in her early teens at 13 and my son was 6 years old. It was very difficult for them, but having been a child victim of divorce myself, I promised myself that I would never put my children through what I had been through. While my ex was negative and ugly regarding me in front of my kids, I was always positive and taught them to be respectful and honor their father as was God’s Will… My children have grown now and though I can’t claim I haven’t made mistakes in raising them, the one thing my children will tell you is that they have so much respect for me in the way that I taught them respect for their father. Pray that God will be there to protect your daughter while she is in her father’s care and encourage your daughter to be open with you if she feels uncomfortable in her father’s care, but remind her that this is her father and he loves her and even though the two of you can no longer be family together, he is still a very important part in her life! Sometimes children will voice what they believe the parent wants to hear and her not wanting to be with her father may be what she perceives you want for her. Listen to her concerns and fears, and make sure she understands that if she is truly uncomfortable in his presence that you will take care of her… Talk to a lawyer if you feel that your “ex” is hurting her in any way, but make sure that these feelings are not being spilled over from your experiences with him… I hope my words help you and aren’t confusing… God bless you and yours!

  77. Carina Sue Carole permalink

    @ intuitive and MaryMarthaKay: I have come to believe that “forgiveness” is important for me because in not forgiving I am only hurting myself, but I never want to “forget” because if I forget, then I believe that I may make the same mistakes in the future… Of course, we don’t want to hold so tightly to those terrible memories that it affects our future… It isn’t fair to hold every new relationship accountable for what we have experienced in our past…So as difficult as it may be for you, ‘intuitive”, and believe me I know more than you could ever possibly understand, it is very important for ‘you’ to pray and learn to forgive than it is for you to ever completely forget… God bless

  78. Marya permalink

    Yes at times it is hard to put the retaliation behind you when someone has been rude to you. I work with this woman that doesn’t do her work, thinks she’s in control of something, and sometimes says rude things to you. At times it’s hard to hold my tounge, and I avoid being around her because she’s fake and disgusts. I just don’t even want to be around her. But I try to just suck it up sometimes and ignore her. But the Lord is working with me on that.

  79. dmarcjacobsjr permalink

    HELLOOOOOO – are you the person who is managing “the Bible” facebook???? DO YOU SEE THERE IS A GUY who needs to be removed from your page??? Halim Baykuş this guy is cussing on your site, & making vulgar comments and it’s AWFUL!!!!!! PLEASE GO AN MANAGE THE SITE if this is you!!!

  80. Leah permalink

    While the Bible tells us to turn the other cheek it does not say to present your cheek for more abuse. You can find instances in the Bible where Jesus stood firm like when he threw over the money changers tables. The legal advice is good but mentally you need to get to a point where you no longer REACT in response to the things he does but instead you begin to ACT. He needs to understand that you, like Jesus and the money changers, are no longer going to put up with him doing the wrong things. This is not to say you start anything – but you need him to get the message that when he does something he’d better think about the consequences. When he begins to wonder what will happen in reponse to his actions you will be making progress in the situation. Don’t give up. Think of it like a training session! And never stop praying and giving thanks.

  81. Marti permalink

    In reading some of the comments I think we need to make a distinction between having encounters with people who have moments of rudeness, and individuals who seem to delight in engaging in abusive conduct. One of the pages that Mark Brown has shared with people on Facebook is called “Abuse in Relationships is not OK” and one of the notes has biblical examples of how we ought to be treated with dignity and respect in our relationships with people.

    http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/Abuse.NOT.ok?ref=ts

    What I do when people are rude to me is I try to pray for them. I also make an effort to respond in a way that preserves the dignity and respect of both myself and the people around me. We are all humans with feet of clay and there are moments when we fall short of what Jesus expects of us. I also do take heed that Jesus tells us that when we refuse to forgive other people, then we can’t expect God to forgive us.

    Often when people snap at us it reflects an inner turmoil that is going on within them. Sometimes individuals will have a rotten day and we get to deal with the end results. I see a lot of bitter and unhappy people, and I praise God that I don’t have to live in that state today.

    Recently, a co-worker completely flew off the handle at me at work, I acknowledged her being upset with me, but also asserted myself politely and firmly. I learned the hard way that if you let people you interact with on a regular basis engage in inappropriate ways of handling conflict, it can escalate into bullying. I shared this experience recently with someone who had developed programs geared towards bullying issues, and she affirmed that I did the right thing by not letting his co-workers loss of temper have control over me.

    I agree with Leah

  82. bonnie w permalink

    this is such a challange for me too Mark. I am reading this book by Deborah Smith Pegues and called How To Tame Your Tongue In 30 Days (hahaha) she suggested some scriptures, one of them I have on my desk right now is

    Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

    (KJV)
    I keep it on my desk in my office at work for a reason, I think I will make a copy and take it home and one for the car!!!! Gods Peace bonnie

  83. denotchka permalink

    Thanks for your imput.

  84. Alisha permalink

    Well I do agree with the word and I pray for the rude lady in the parking lot but i will try to do it Gods way and let him rule. I thought if she send a family member or try something my first thought is gun but now I’am thinking just call the police. I do not want to get jumped but I must trust God and see what he will do first!

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