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Who I can be

June 26, 2010

Pain has a way of reminding me I am just me. It spikes my assuredness and pushes me away from myself towards God. Small timid steps towards the creator of the universe; gentle peace smashes against grief, one moment at a time.

Breathing prayers, determined to stumble forward. Arms outstretched causing happiness to fumble. But I am gripped without question by a presence greater than I, one whose outstretched arms were nailed for me.

The uncomfortable chasm between myself and who I could be is crossed when I turn my eyes to Him who heals with a Word.

Jesus I give you my all and in return I receive much more of who I can be.  I am complete in a transaction that I don’t understand, but place my heart with the one who loves me regardless.

Take my desire and make me who I can be Lord Jesus.

Take my desire.

Mark
http://www.facebook.com/MarkBrown.page
http://twitter.com/RevMarkB

To watch me reading my poem see:

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Yahweh’s Yarn in a Year : 1 year Bible reading plan

The portion for today is: Ephesians 4-6; Leviticus 7-9
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51 Comments
  1. Gina permalink

    Mark this is absolutely amazing ! Very touching and inspiring. Thank you for sharing this. G0D BLESS GiNa

  2. jovy247 permalink

    thank you Mark, it looks like its talking to me,. love you God..

  3. debbie permalink

    It is 4:00 am and I woke up to pray…..I guess the Lord wants me to pray for you. This is just simply put….BEAUTIFUL POETRY TO THE LORD. Thank you and God bless….

    debbie

  4. Tending to write poetry myself, it sometimes just comes in the middle of the night when I am going through something extremely difficult. Because of this, I know from where you are inspired, and can appreciate the depth of what is between the lines. Isn’t it as if our soul is trying to say more than we can humanly put into words? Floods of emotions and meanings can exit in one phrase or word. Yet they don’t really express it all. I truly enjoyed your beautiful poem. Too encourage you, it spoke in volumes to me. Many of us can relate to what you are feeling in this poem. Thank you so very much for sharing! Praise God that we are being perfected towards heaven and dwelling with Him! Praise God for His son Jesus! Praise Jesus that when God looks at me, He sees His son! Our sins are forgiven, we are justified and being glorified each day, in spite of our many humanly faults. God bless you as you continue to follow God in His work. 😀

  5. I love this! sharing it with my friends i fully relate. its like its come from my heart… thats what makes it a good poem thanks for sharing it with me 😀

  6. Jane Mbendo permalink

    Thanks for inspiration through this poem. Keep sharing brother.

  7. Lynn permalink

    very moving poem pastor mark. you can feel your passion to be the man Jesus would have you bewe all should have that passion when it comes to serving the Lord,especially in the shadow of his sacrafice for us. Jesus gave his all for me and i most assuredly desire to give my all to Him for Him.i’m just coming out of the depressive side of bi-polar after almost 2 months and it was a difficult battle, but God fought the battle for me. as i come out i’m feeling completely exhausted, battle weary, and completely drained, empty. but i thank God i’m empty at this point because that means there’s plenty of room for a lot of God to fill me up. i try to look at it as the battle recreates me as a new wine skin and now i can be filled with new wine from the Lord. THANK YOU GOD FOR THE BATTLES WE FIGHT THROUGH LIFE, FOR EMPTYING US OUT TO BE REFRESHED AND RENEWED WITH YOUR NEW WINE. PLEASE LORD, FILL ME UP WITH MORE OF YOU.

    • Pam Bailey permalink

      Lynn,
      That’s wonderful news! So glad you’re feeling better…God fought the battle and brought you through it….what a good feeling that must be! May you have many bright days ahead!

      • lynn permalink

        THERE’S STILL MORE BATTLES TO BE FOUGHT PAM, BUT OH YES IT IS SO GOOD TO BE REFRESHED OF THE LORD. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  8. Kay permalink

    Wonderful feelng poem Fr Mark. Thank you for sharing. Yes, such pain i feel, such pain. Maybe God will cure me. Sr Pam where are you?

  9. miriam johnson permalink

    :´) profound love…

  10. Susie permalink

    Just want you to know I’m praying for you and whatever it is you’re going through. We all need brothers and sisters to hold up our arms like Moses, and rest assured, every child of God overcomes this world by trusting Christ to bring the victory (1Jn).

  11. Kay permalink

    I am not holy enough. I need to believe more and have blind faith that Christ can help me through this desperate phase i am going through

    • LYNN permalink

      KAY, ALL YOU NEED IS FAITH THE SIZE OF A TINY MUSTARD SEED RIGHT NOW. JESUS SAYS COME TO ME JUST AS YOU ARE, AND HE’S WAITING WITJ OPEN ARMS TO RECEIVE YOU. WE AREN’T ABLE TO CLEAN OURSELVES UP, BUILD UP OUR FAITH OR MAKE OURSELVES WORTHY ENOUGH. IF WE HAD TO DO THAT ON OUR OWN, I WOULD BE BURNING IN HELL RIGHT NOW INSTEAD OF BEING ON MY WAY TO ETERNITY WITH JESUS. WHEN I CAME TO JESUS I WASAN ALCOHOLIC AND A DRUG ADDICT. I THOUGHT I HAD TO BE ABLE TO STOP DRINKING AND DRUGGING BEFORE I WOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH TO COME TO JESUS. AS I WAS WALKING AWAY FROM THE ALTAR I HEARD A VOICE ASKING ME, IF YOU CAN FIX YOURSELF, WHAT DID I DIE FOR? IF WE REFUSE TO ALLOW JESUS TO CLEAN US UP ,OR HEAL OUR HURTS, OR BUILD UP OUR FAITH THEN WE ARE SAYING HE DIED FOR NOTHING. DON’T RUN FROM JESUS KAY, RUN TO HIM., RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN, RUN AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON HIM, BECAUSE IT DOES KAY. AND I AM TELLING YOU THIS OUT OF LOVE KAY. BECAUSE I CARE, BUT JESUS CARES A LOT MORE THAN I DO.

  12. Suzanne McClere permalink

    Amen, Brother!

  13. LYNN permalink

    KAY THIS IS A OOEM THE LORD GAVE ME AFTER HE HAD STARTED THE HEALING PROCESS IN ME. AND IF YOU JUST TURN TO HIM, YOU WILL FEEL MUCH THE SAME IN A WHILE.

    I SING A NEW SONG OCT 16, 1998

    THERE’S A BRAND NEW SONG IN Y HEART TODAY
    BECAUSE YOU CAME TO SET THE CAPTIVE FREE.
    A SONG OF DELIVERANCE THAT’S HERE TO STAY,
    IT’S A BRAND NEW SONG TO YOU FROM ME.
    YOU CAME AND MENDED MY SHATTERED SOUL,
    AND YOU HEALED MY BROKEN HEART.
    YOU PUT ME TOGETHER AND MADE ME WHOLE,
    YOU GAVE MY LIFE A BRAND NEW START.
    SO I SING THIS NEW SONG TO GIVE YOU PRAISE,
    AND LIFT YOUR NAME ON HIGH.
    I’LL SING THIS NEW SONG ALL OF MY DAYS,
    ALWAYS KNOWING WHERE MY SALVATION LIES.
    TO YOU I ASCRIBE ALL GLORY,HONOR,AND POWER,
    AND PRAISES TI YOU I WILL ALWAYS SING,
    MY STRENGHT, MY REFUGE, MY HIGH TOWER, MY SAVIOR,MY LORD, AND MY KING.
    THANK YOU LORD

    PSM 96:1-2 O SING UNTO THE LORD A NEW SONG: SING UNTO THE LORD, ALL THE EARTH. SING UNTO THE LORD , BLESSHIS NAME; SHEW FORTH HIS SALVATION FROM DAY TO DAY.

  14. Kay permalink

    Thank you Lynn so much for making me visible and caring. x

  15. LYNN permalink

    KAY, ONE THINGJESUS COMMANDS US TO DO IS TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER AS HE LOVES US. I WAS NOT ALWAYS ABLE TO DO THIS. I NEEDED HELP, SO I TURNED TO JESUS. I ASKED GOD TOALLOW ME TO SEE OTHERS THROUGH HIS EYES AND TO BE ABLE TO FEEL THE PAIN OF OTHERS. HE HAD DONE SO MUCH FOR ME I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO MINISTER HIS LOVE TO OTHERS. YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF KAY AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN HERE AGAIN. GOD BLESS

  16. Kay permalink

    LYNN thank you again. you are very encouraging . I need someone like you to tell me certain things. I am the lost sheep i think but desperately trying to be found. I want to believe and love but i feel so lonely and rejected since my husband left. I WANT to place myself in God’s Hands hoping He will draw me to him. I have bought a Bible and plan to highlight some passages that help my situation. THANK YOU Again Lynn. Thank you for caring enough to tell me certain truths and taking the trouble to write so much down for me. I hope to see you here again too. AND FR MARK thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet such wonderful people as Lynn.

  17. Che-Che permalink

    Very true and I ask that people who read this will pray for a special lady named Amy who is going through a very hard time.

    • LYNN permalink

      CHE CHE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR PASSING YOU OVER. I ASSURE I SAW YOU AND MEANT TO GET BACK TO YOU SOONER, BUT I FELL ASLEEP AT MY PUTER. I WANT TO LET YO KNOW I WILL BE PRAYING FOR AMY AND WILL ALSO ASK MANY OTHERS TO PRAY FOR HER ALSO. I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, HOW ABOUT YOU? GOD BLESS.

      • Che-Che permalink

        Thanks Lynn, it is people with strong beliefs that will help people who are down and out like Amy. God Bless you. I do believe in miracles.

  18. Kay permalink

    I have been blessed in finding this site. i am amongst people who believe so strongly. i need to have this strength in faith.

    • Che-Che permalink

      Kay, this a peaceful way for me to be with such strong beliveing Christains. I fed off of Pastor Mark and people like you and Kay. I am very weak right now and very lonely and talk to God constantly to help me. For I have a tanted past and feel like I am having to go through the pain of rejection and loneliness. You are correct this is the place to be. God bless you and everyone here.

      • lynn permalink

        CHE CHE, JESUS HAS WASHED AWAY YOUR PAST JUST AS HE HAS WASHED AWAY MY PAST. WE ARE NEW CREATIONS THRU HIS DEATH AND RESSURECTION. I REMEMBER WHERE IT IS THAT HE BROUGHT ME OUT OF AND THANK HIM FOR WHERE HE HAS BROUGHT ME TO. I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR TAINTED PAST AS YOU CALL IT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COMPARE NOTES WITH ME ON MY PAST? LOL ANYONE WHO WILL JUDGE YOU BY YOUR PAST SHOULD TAKE IT UP WITH JESUS. I EXCEPT YOU AS MY SISTER IN CHRIST AND AM HONORED TO GET TO KNOW YOU. TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS.

  19. LYNN permalink

    KAY, I’M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU WILL BE HIGHLIGHTING PASSAGES IN YOUR BIBLE, AND IF THERE’S A SPACE, WRITE LITTLE NOTES IN THE COLUMS ALSO. MAY I SUGGEST THE 1ST 2 VERSES TO HIGHLIGHT? JOHN CHAPTER 3 VERSES 16 AND 17. THEY ARE THE SALVATION MESSAGE IN 2 VERSES. THOSE I CAN REMEMBER. LOL JOHN 3

    ;16 WAS THE 1ST BIBLE VERSE I EVER MENORIZED.ALSO, I’M NOT SURE WHERE IT IS, BUT IT’S WHEN JESUS CALLED LAZERUS OUT OF THE GRAVE. A VERY SHORT VERSE. IT SIMPLY SAY, JESUS WEPT.HE WEEPS WITH US TOO KAY WHEN WE ARE IN PAIN AND CRYING OUT TO HIM AS HE LOVES US SO VERY MUCH AND IT HURTS HIM WHEN WE ARE HURT.WHEN I WAS LITTLE MY GRAM TOLD ME WHEN IT RAINED IT WAS GODS TEARS. IT KINDA COMFORTED ME TO THINK GOD CARES SO MUCH FOR US HE WEEPS WITH US.I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHEN WE CRIED WE CRIED ALONE. TAKE CARE KAY AND GOD BLESS. I WILL STAY IN TOUCH THROUGH THIS ROOM. I’M SURE PASTOR MARK WON’T MIND.

    • Kathy permalink

      Lynn, your poem is very good! It should be set to music! Thanks for your encouragement to Kay.

      Kay, none of us is holy enough. We don’t come to God because we are holy; we come to God because we are sinners. He wants to heal your emotional pain. He wants to make you completely whole – spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially, etc. Humans lost everything in the garden when they sinned. They lost their way to God, the truth of God and the life from God. Jesus came to restore it all. He said, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” I am so glad you are planning to get into the Bible! Ask God to show you what you especially need to read. Let Him speak to you.

      I don’t know where you live, but if you get a Christian TV channel that carries Richard Roberts’ program “The Place For Miracles,” I highly recommend it. It has helped me a lot. It comes on at 9:00 PM where I live. Check out their website, http://www.oralroberts.com. Also, they have a 24-hour prayer line that you can call anytime, and someone will pray with you. The number is 918-495-7777.

      Jesus loves you, Kay, and so do we! By the way, even if your husband leaves you, Jesus has promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

      • lynn permalink

        THANK YOU KATHY. I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THE POEM THE LORD GAVE ME. I PRAY IT WILL BLESS MANY AND GIVE THEM RENEWED HOPE THAT GOD CAN PUT A NEW SONG IN THEIR HEART ALSO. TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS

  20. TAMMY permalink

    THANK YOU 4 THAT BEAUTIFUL POEM AND MESSAGE IT REALLY TOUCH MY HEART( IT’S TALKING ABOUT ME) THANK YOU JESUS I LOVE YOU AND NEED YOU.

  21. Kathy permalink

    Mark, the poem is beautiful! Thank you! I plan to read it again and again!

  22. jennifer permalink

    Thank you for sharing this poem. Its funny how in god we r all connected on a level not of this world. And the most amazing part is that we dont even know one another on a personal basis. May the lord bless and keep u. Amen

  23. Kay permalink

    LYNN please do keep in touch. and Kathy thank you also for your encouragement. I have alot of work to do on myself…..i need help. I want to be as strong in faith as you all are. LYNN your words are precious to me as they fill me with a belief i would lke to become permanent. I need God in every corner of my life.

    • LYNN permalink

      KAY, I’M GOING TO ASK PASTOR MARK IF THERE IS A WAY HE CAN GET MY E-MAIL ADDY TO YOU SO WE CAN KEEP IN TOUCH. IF YOU WANT TO BECOME STRONG IN YOUR FAITH, ASK JESUS TO HELP YOU AS HE IS THA AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH. AND HAVE PATIENCE WITH YOURSELF. IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR YOUR FAITH TO GROW, BUT DON’T QUIT, AND DON’T EVER GIVE UP.YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. JESUS HAS PROMISED HE WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE US.

  24. Babette permalink

    Thank you so much Mark for your beautiful poem. I believe that God gives us poems sometimes to help us through some difficult time. God is so awesome and He loves us so much even though we are unlovable He still loves us. God Bless you Mark. May God continue to help you and take care of all your needs.

  25. cam permalink

    Rev Brown, thank you for sharing your heart n thoughts with us each day. Yes, what a priviledge it is that we can be His children (as we soak in His Love), little by little, day by day, we give our hearts to Him, the 1 who loves us unconditionally n give His life for us… PTL!!!

  26. LYNN permalink

    PASTOR MARK, I KNOW WE HAVE TO PUT OUR E-MAIL ADDYS ON THE COMMENTS WE LEAVE SO I WAS WONDERING IF THERE IS ANY WAY YOU COULD PLEASE GET MINE TO KAY. I DO NOT WANT TO POST IT PUBLICLY, BUT IF THAT’S THE ONLY WAY TO GET IT TO HER I WILL DO SO. I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT TO ABANDON HER. SHE IS A HURTING SOUL AND GOD HAS MADE A CONNECTION BETWEEN KAY AND I FOR A REASON. I DO NOT WANT TO BREAK THAT CONNECTION. I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD LET ME KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH AND GOD BLESS.

  27. Lydia Reyes permalink

    Mark, your poem is beautiful. God has given you many talents and you seem to be doing a great job. I will continue to pray for you and all the others in this page. I feel the love that is being poured out to one another in this site, For Kay, I just want to say that God loves each one of us as if we were the only one to love and that means alot. I too was a lost sheep and felt unworthy of his love . You know that sheeps are known for being stubborn and stupid most of the time and yes I was like the sheep. It took time for me to grow in the walk with God, but I took baby steps and to day I am so full of the joy, love and peace that he gives to all who come to him. Believe me it is not easy but God has a way of transforming our lives as he want us to be and it can’t get better than that. Jesus is the WAY the TRUTH and the LIFE.

  28. Wendy permalink

    How wonderful you poem is – reminding us all of who we can be…God, you are my one and only and I love you SO much.

  29. Kristen permalink

    That was absolutely breathtaking. When I read that, I could just feel my heart praying your words. Thank you so much. Soli Deo Gloria.

  30. Cavin Wright permalink

    Extremely well written and poignant. Well done, Mark.

  31. Kay permalink

    LYNN thank you. I would love to keep in touch with you. you have helped me so much. If pastor Mark cannot give me your addy i will give you mine here. Mornings are pretty tough. last night i was so positive this morning i am down again. really depressed and panicky and anxious. i believe it is the devil trying to make me believe that all my efforts are for nothing. What do you think Lynn?

    • LYNN permalink

      GOOD MORNING KAY. MAY GOD RICHLY BLESS YOU THIS DAY. YES KAY, SATAN WILL TRY TO DISCOURAGE YOU IN ANY WAY HE CAN. IT WILL NOT BE EASY, BUT DO YOUR BEST FIGHT THOSE SINKING FEELINGS. SATAN WILL TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL AS IF NO ONE CARES AND THAT YOU ARE ALONE. DON’T FALL INTO HIS TRAP. FIGHT BACK BY SAYING IT IS WRITTEN THAT JESUS WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME. AND LOOK FOR SCRIPTURES THAT TELL YOU TO FEAR NOT FOR GOD IS WITH YOU. I’M NOT SURE, BUT I THINK YOU’LL FIND A FEW IN THE BEGINNING OF JOSHUA. IF NEED BE, WRITE THESE VERSES IN LARGE LETTERS AND TAPE THEM UP WHERE YOU WILL SEE THEM EASILY. AND IF HE TRIES TO TELL YOU NO ONE CARES AGAIN YOU CAN TELL HIM YES, LYNN CARES. OK? YAKE CARE KAY. I HAVE ASKED A LOVELY GROUP OF LADIES TO KEEP PRAYING FOR YOU AND I KNOW THEY WILL. I’M SO GLAD YOU COULD REACH ME THIS MORNING THRU THIS SITE AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU’RE FEELING. I CAN’T PROMISE TO BE THERE AT ALL TIMES, BUT I DO PROMISE YOU I WILL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS I POSSIBLY CAN. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

  32. Kay permalink

    LYNN thank you for writing to me. Yes the devil makes me think of bad things like doing away with my life which i hate and giving me thoughts that i am a useless person and that no one cares. Thank you for the prayers you asked for me. i need them. I am praying alot too. I want to totally believe and then i know my anxiety and panic and depression will go away because God will be there to protect me always.

    • lynn permalink

      kay, you may not feel it at this time, but i can gauretee you that God is there with you at this moment.and in psalm 91 it tell you that He has given his angels charge over you. read psalm 91 oftenm til it stays with you in your heart. it’s 1 of my favorites,and i think you’ll know why when you read it. my e-mail ddy is pdinfull41352@yahoo.com. i check ny e-mail a few times each day so you know i’ll get your message. just put your name in the subject line the 1st few times so i can get to know your addy when i see it. i will add your name and addy to my addy book as soon as i get it. and plese kay, promise me you will not hurt yourself in any eay. i know how strong those feelings can be and how very hard it is to fight them at times, but we must remember , never quit and never give up. i promise you the fight is worth it.

  33. Pam Bailey permalink

    Mark,
    Beautiful poem….you have a way of expressing feelings that are difficult to put into words…thanks so much for sharing this!

  34. Che-Che permalink

    May everyone have a God blessed day and pastor M thanks for all that you give of yourself to help us gain knowledge and insight to the Lord. God bless you and your family.

  35. marilyn permalink

    “Heal with a word” … how true, the Bible brings much comfort.

  36. Che-Che permalink

    Tracy needs prays and blessing with the passing away of her husband’s grandmother. She has a test that she needs to pass to keep teaching here in Florida. She is taking it tomorrow. Please pray that God will give her guidance and success. God Bless all of you. She has been plague with illiness and needs God’s healing powers.

    • lynn permalink

      TRACY IS IN MY PRAYERS AND I WLL ASK OTHERS TO PRAY FOR HER ALSO.

  37. I am soo where you are, Mark. Blessings to you brother. :)(:

  38. Terry permalink

    Brother Mark ~ your poem/prayer touched my heart and soul this Monday morning. Thank you for sharing!
    ~Blessings~

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