Where are all the men?
I was checking out the demographics of those who are fans of my page Praying People, a page where people can post prayers and pray for others. Of the 99,000 fans, 81% are female. Wow. At first I thought it was perhaps that more women are involved in Facebook, but a quick bit of research shows that there are about 10% more women on Facebook so this doesn’t explain the discrepency. That got me thinking about men and church, and how the brutal reality is that men are in the minority around church.
Where are all the men?
Then I thought about the role of teaching children about Jesus, raising them in the faith, and how for many this is the task of the mother.
Men need to take the lead, men need to step up and become more involved in church, become more involved in the spiritual leadership of their household.
And then I thought about my own leadership. The church part is ok, as an Anglican Priest I take services, preach and help out where I can. But within the household I need to do way more, to step up and get more involved in the spiritual development of my kids: Anna (8), Matty (6), Jack (3) and Patrick (1). This is a join effort with my wife Lou and one that I feel challenged to step up to.
I also feel deeply convicted to spend several days+ really delving deep into the Word to learn what it says about marriage, parenting and what it means to be a Godly husband, father and man. Will share this when I can.
I praise God for these challenges!
Now take a moment to share in the comments section below: your gender, and also where you are from. Be interesting to see whether the same gender imbalance exists amongst those who read this blog!
Praise God!
Mark Brown
http://www.facebook.com/MarkBrown.page
If you would like to subscribe to this blog and receive my reflections as an email for free: click here.
And I welcome your comments!! Click on comment and scroll down.
Yahweh’s Yarn in a Year : 1 year Bible reading plan
The portion for the next day is: Job 27-28
To access the complete plan for the year click here.
Journey Deeper Into God's Word 
I’m a female from South Africa.
I am a female from St. Maarten, Netherlands Antilles
I am a male. A pastor. A worker in a brewery.Am from Abia state , Nigeria.
I received Journey Deeper into God’s Word and not the Praying People. I prefer not to put my prayer requests on an open page in FB. And I prefer to know the people who are praying for me, knowing they will pray blessings, and not curses.
I am an American working as a missionary in Brussels, Belgium at the House of Prayer for all Nations-Brussels.
I like what you write, Mark.
Many blessings, Carol
Female
Meyerton, Gauteng, South Africa
I am 33 year old married man with one child, aged 1, from Scotland.
I have been challenged with exactly the same issues as you have Mark in the last few months.
I would be very interested in your thoughts and comments on this subject.
God Bless you and your ministry.
I am a female and from South Africa!
Blessings
I’m female from Canada.
It’s interesting to think of the mother taking the lead role in spiritual upbringing.
As a child my father led our family, but now as I sit and think about different families at church, including my own, I absolutely see it. Even most Sunday school teachers are female. Maybe it’s just a gift or instinct in mothers to teach their children. Fathers tend to take on the ‘breadwinner’ role and leave the nurturing to mom. As long as Dad is walking a Christian walk I’d say he’s being a role model to them in a different way.
Well there is one man that’s not missing. My husband. Hi my name is Shannon Stafford from Locust Grove,Ok. We are a christian famliy.My husband makes sure we go to church both on sundays and wed.nite.We even have our own bible study at our home.We read everynite.Mt husband is very much in the church.Were is yours?
amen!!!!!!!!!!!
I am female, from the Northern Peninsula of Michigan in the USA. I have always been told that I should go to church to find a good man…since there doesn’t seem to be any there that are not old enough to be my father or grandfather or already married… I am still single and childless at 35! My heart has longed for children for over 12 years and I feel like a part of me missing without a partner… but I am willing to wait on God’s timing and His created match for me. I trust His plan for my life. But this does not change the fact that unlike the Marines, the church, no matter the denomination, is still looking for a few good men. But even in this God has a plan. This does not mean that we are not responsible for at least getting up off the couch. Open your mind, and God will help you to open your heart.
God’s Love and Christ’s Peace be yours, always.
Thanks for the precious daily parts from scripture. It really makes me feel rich. I also pray for the men. I’m married to a man addicted to pornography that has a very big influence on our relationship. He does not read the Bible, pray or go to church. I pray for him and all the people who are addicted and I believe God will heal them. Please pray for me in this situation.
I know exactly how you feel, I had the same problem for years, but after many years of prayer, God worked in my husband’s life. Things aren’t perfect yet, but it’s a lot better. Just keep praying, God is faithful.
god bless everyone. i am so lucky . my husband is so into church and GOGS word we have a gospel group and 2 cds its wonderful to have jesus in my heart and soul!
God bless you Emma and keep you strong in your faith and rest your soul…that is what is happening, Souls are being preyed upon… I pray for your husbands weaknesses and especially for you, In Jesus name I lift you up
Emma, I can’t imagine what you are going through, but please encourage your husband to go to http://www.menofjesus.org. It is a large group of Christian men all there to help and support each other. Not one of them claims to be perfect and many of them are going through or have been through what your husband is struggling with. A great resource for any man struggling with any type of sin. Also, know that God hears your prayers. Hoping that they are answered soon.
Palm 51:10 is a great prayer of the Word to pray over him(your husband), ‘create in him a clean heart, and renew in him a right spirit’. pray this even out loud enough for him to hear it..like maybe before bed or something…’faith comes from hearing, and hearing from the Word of God’.
Shalom-Shalom
Emma,
I will pray for both you and your husband as I can completely understand the pain you are experiencing, as I too find myself in an addictive (alcohol and infidelity) relationship. Be strong, and know you are never alone. God bless you and keep you close during these difficult hours.
aww thats sad i mean when i hear stuff like that its just i dont know but i pray for u and your husband and all the other guys out there.i hope nothing but the best for you!
WOW I cannot believe the timing of this email!
This evening I have a meeting at my church about the future of the Boys’ Brigade company there – one of our biggest issues is a lack of men willing to share their faith with the next generation of young men. To be honest it is not a recent issue but one that has gone on for some time, so we have a major trend to reverse!
God Bless you Mark and I look forward to reading your discoveries about what it means to be a Godly husband, father and man!
Angela
I fall into the 81% category, which is truly sad, I had no idea that the male/female discrepancy was so huge. Men need to step up to the plate and and acknowledge their dependency on Jesus.
I fall into the 81% category, which is truly sad, I had no idea that the male/female discrepancy was so huge. Men need to step up to the plate and and acknowledge their dependency on Jesus. Oh, and I’m from South Africa.
I am a female from Stafford, Virginia in the USA!!
I am 33 year old married man with one child from Scotland.
We too suffer the same issues in Scotland. I am the Young Church Leader in the church and struggle to find men to lead the next generation of young people.
In my own personal life I very aware of this and like Mark I am interested in finding out what it means to be a Godly man. I look forward to your future posts on the subject.
I’m a female from Silver Spring, Maryland in the US.
I am female in Maryland,USA and am so happy to read this. My husband is a believer and I’ve been praying for him to take more of a leadership role in our family and get involved in church other than Sunday morning worship to set the example for our teenage son. Can’t wait to see what God places on your heart to share.
Female. Philadelphia PA
Female from Seneca, SC
Female from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, USA
Female, St. Robert, MO
I’m a female from Johannesburg, South Africa
I am female from South Africa but living in the UK.
I am a male from Johannesburg South Africa, I aggree 100% that men should take the spiritual responsibility for the households. That is what God called us to do.
Hey,
I’m Peter from Brisbane, Qld, Australia and the first bloke (man) to comment hear!
As a man, I am aware of my need to stand up and be the man! God created us for leadership in the home and church and there are far too few men that are prepared to take their stand for God.
Our local church currently is growing the men’s ministry and encouraging all men to be all that God created them to be. It may be a long way home, but an important journey nevertheless.
Wifes and girlfriends, keep encouraging and praying for your men 🙂
Way to go Peter! I praise God for you and pray that you will continually seek His wisdom and direction for your life.
By the way, wives is spelled with a “v”. 🙂
Good Question … a lot of South African men is missing in action!
thats so true hey jenine. im also from SA,29, single – the age where everyone starts to ask you why you’re still single. well, i would like to share my life with someone who respects & loves God – sadly, i hardly ever meet any men that do. wherever they are, they’re defenitely hiding.
I agree with you. I am a female from Nigeria and when lived there i noticed that alot of the population of the people at my church were females. that is how it is the current i attend in the US. Men really need to step to the role God has set aside them.
I am 21 years old male from Bosnia & Herzegovina.In my country we have a big number of those who come to church, that includes and mens.But problem is, most mens after they have been at the church they think that they have done all their work.
I am a female and a single mother. I live in Rochester, NY in the USA. I lead the spiritual role in my family as there is no one else to do it. My ex-husband was into pornography and cheated on me and is now married to the woman he cheated on me with. Please pray for me and for my son that the Lord would help me guide my son and give me wisdom and discernment to raise him to be a Godly man. My role as a single mom is very difficult and my son has a lot of emotional scars from the divorce. I pray that the Lord would help him heal and be his strength every day!
Rev. Mark:
I am Female and live in Jacksonville, NC USA
Thank you for your postings and sharing how God’s Word impacts you in a personal way and how you apply His word to your everyday life! Very Inspiring!
It is so true about the disparity between men/women re: Spiritual/Biblical participation in the family/church. I am a single mother of four sons; my former husband and I “were” involved in the ministry together, until he ‘fell/backslid’ into sin, was removed from his ministry position, and ultimatly our marriage failed (pornography,rage/violence/abuse, adultry, ect..). I have had the same concern for our men. Where are they? Why have the abondoned what God created them to be? What can we do to bring them back into their predestined role? Our men are the foundation of the family/church, and without them the family/church is ‘off balance,’ thus the whole family/church suffers in this lack! I am interested in following up on your research re: this issue. Please post information you find out about this issue to share with us.
You are telling my story. I go alone; my husband stays home. He used to preach, and was very active in “God’s Work”. Then alcoholism, adultery, divorce, then we remarried. Sunday as I drove home from church, I passed a house-a lady near my age, I suppose, had just gotten out of her car and was walking toward her house. I thought to myself, “I’m not the only one. Her husband doesn’t go with her, either. ” Until men return to putting God first in their lives, nothing will change. God is still waiting to send Jesus back, but how long is He going to? Forever??? I DON’T think so.
Female from Waco, Texas
I’m a female living in Goshen, IN USA.
Hey Lois, I am from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Men say they are Christian, but they sure are distracted by things such as ambition, money, sports, sexual issues, drugs and alcohol, and others. It would sure be nice to learn that men would step up, unite, and make a stand for Jesus… and make a conscious effort forsaking the distractions. They must find their identity in Christ, or they will never get beyond the vices and distractions. We need also good Christian men to step up and be leaders, examples, and be an accountability partner for these men who for some reason or another, cannot see beyond the world. If you are interested, perhaps we can start something for our area to help the men on their way. My email is heart4yhwh@yahoo.com, or you can find me on facebook.
I am a female from Oklahoma.
I’m a male from Texas. Considering pretty much all the comments before mine were from women, as well as the comments they had to offer in addition to your statistics, it feels overwhelming the apparent lack of active Christian men. I’m still relatively fresh in my faith and trying to figure out what God would have me do as a believer, but is seems figuring out what that is might be more gender specific than I would have ever thought to consider! Please keep us posted on what you find to be the Lord’s will in regards to gender specific roles.
God Bless!
Mark,
I am a pastor in Alabama and was having a discussion with my associate pastor yesterday about this very thing. It seems like most men have abdicated their role as spiritual leaders at home, in the community, and in the church. Thanks for your insights!
It is heartbreaking to realise this predicament in todays society. How God’s heart must break to see so many men forsake their inheritance and their Godly positions in their families. I recently attended an amazing Christian music festival in Australia called “Easterfest”, where they have a tent especially for men called “The Shed”. It is a place for men to receive from other men, hear, share, worship, about a range of topics to equip them and encourage them in their role. Unfortunately, whenever I walked past there were not many men inside (however, I was only there for a day). My husband flat out refused to go in, sadly. He has also left his faith behind, and I find that I have had to take on the role of spiritual head of our house with regard to the spiritual instruction and teaching of my two sons. It can be very hard at times and is often like living with the enemy. This is a topic that needs to addressed and kept in prayer. God bless you for raising this awareness online.
I am female,from Uganda. it is so very true, men have abandoned their duty of being the spititual head to the women.
So far all comments are also female! I am a widowed mother (my son was 8). After reading this I consider myself pretty lucky, because I happen to know where at least ‘a few good men’ are. I am from Knox/Anderson Counties in Tennessee!
Female here. Some of my friends in my part of the vineyard concluded years ago that the backbone of the church is really the female part. We don’t worry about it; only those women who decide that they need husbands.
The world is in the power of the evil one so things are not as they should be and neither will they be until they are put right in God’s time.
It is not a worrisome thing for me that more women than men are interested in the things of God. He made us all with the same free will and que sera sera. Life is what it is.
The world is not in the power of Satan. Only the hearts of men. Satan has no authority here. The only power the has is man given and that can not even begin to contend with the power of God
Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Matthew 28:18
I am a Man and I see that there is a lacking number of my brothers on the frontlines of the battle with the enemy and leading their houses. We should call them forth and show them of their responsibilities as instructed in our life’s playbook…. the Bible… tell him to check out Ephesians 5.
I am female and from Mississippi, USA. I am highly involved in my church as the Music Leadet and Youth Leader. God does come first, but a close second as to why I am so involved is for my kids. Men in general are not as hands on with the kids around here and raising them is put on the women’s shoulders. I feel that it SHOULD be a united front and that both parents should be teaching the children about our Lord. Awesome blog post!
I am female and I come from Zimbabwe,even in our church we have ladies meetings, women’s world day of pray and all sorts involving women.Wow its amazing Mark how your messages are really touching our lives,I read them with my husband every evening as part of our bible reading.I look forward to your passages every day.
37yr Male in Ohio. Have been receiving Journey Deeper since about the time you started it. I really enjoy and get a lot out of the reflections. Thanks for staying committed to it.
Female, New Braunfels, TX
I live in Arizona USA and I agree with about some of the men. I am a single mother raising two boys but have a hard time for their father is not in the word I led him to Christ he accepted Christ but its not for me to say if he meant it or not only God knows and My ex-husband. we still talk for the sake o our children and try to get along and try to raise them together but then there’s that issue of church. He told me they have a choice because they are older now and I should not force them to go. But Gods word says in Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. I thank you for your all that you do in your postings and may God continue to use you in ways that are needed. May God bless you and your family
Female from Southern Illinois, United States
In my personal life I know more females who are spiritual. The males I think assume it isn’t “manly”, from what I’ve observed…
I am a male from Charlotte,NC
I’m a male from Adelaide, Australia. I haven’t really noticed a big gender imbalance among my Christian circles.
Female from Dallas, TX.
Female from Naples, FL USA. Our (all female) prayer groups has been praying for the men in our church, families, and community to hear the call that God has placed on their lives and step into the roles He desires for them. I believe the Spirit of God is calling in this season.
Rose from Nigeria
Looking forward to your findings………..
This response is for Emma:
Please don’t give up hope for your husband! My husband was caught in the web of this sin as well. He is now getting help, and is seeking the Lord daily. He has become a wonderful Godly leader of our home. I praiseGod for hearing my prayers all these years. This is more prevalent than one might think. Can this be the reason we don’t see more men in leadership roles in church?
I notice ~ especially in prayer
female, NY. God richly bless you for sharing the daily word with the public. I must say it really some thing I always look forward to as part of my daily readings. I agree with you about how men need to take up the spiritual lead. some women sometimes gets tired when they tend to be the sole spiritual leaders of the home.
female from Naples, Florida
and mostly I raised my son on my own, than I met my husband a wonderful christian man, and together we raised his remaining 2 children.
I am a man from Keller, Texas. My church has a pretty good balance of men and women who serve in all ministries. The subject of men not being more active in church has come up in many of our Bible studies. And everything I read on the subject seems to point to the statistics that sadly state that men, as a whole, are less likely to attend church and serve.
Male here, from the island of Jamaica. Yes, I have seen the lack of men in my church circles, and it is a big worry for our churches. We set up youth programmes for the young men, but it’s not enough. It is sad to admit, that males are easily distracted by the world. Very few can stand up and be counted as men of purpose, men of ambition, men of character, and most important, men of God. Even the men’s fellowship isn’t enough to entice them as strong male leaders in the church. This is a serious issue that MUST be addressed immediately in our churches. Trust God to do His work, and trust Him to help us achieve this. Be blessed!!
I feel challenged as well being a father of girls 6 and 11. I enjoy taking my daughters to church and listening to them about what the sunday school lesson was about. There is not enough hours in the day to spend with them after school and work is through each day. Thank you for placing this e-mail out there. It gives us as readers something nice to read for a change. God Bless You.
I forgot to post I am from Tennessee.
Female from Bogart, GA
Female from Indiana, USA. Truly appreciate your blog. God is working through you and touching my life and walk with Him. Thank you!
I am a man and living in northcentral PA. Unfortunately, I have to say that I agree with you on the fact that you will see more women in church then men. With that said, I have wondered why that is the case. As a church, most of them are “set up” (for lack of better terms) and geared around “feelings” and activities, or so it seems. If that is the case then this is not set for men as men are not geared toward their “feelings” or toward gathering together as much. Men are geared toward “conquering” and things of strength. What we have forgotten is that the conquering and strength that is needed to raise our families in Christ is not always physical, but a spiritual battle. We want to fight what we can see and have a real hard time spending time in prayer, Bible reading, or on our knees because this is not seen as “true action” by many. I struggle with this as I had walked away from God, made my own choices and ended up in a divorce and remarried. I see that true action is on my knees, reading the Bible, praying and stepping up to the leader position; that God has called all men to be in. I ask for prayer as I continue to look to God for direction for what He has for me and my 2 families and prayer for accepting His forgiveness, forgiving myself and allowing God to work through the choices that have been made.
amen! pray for me i cant seem to spell this am GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like your insight!
i a female mother of one, grandma of one, living in the panhandle of texas
I am a woman and I feel like I am the spiritual leader in my househould. It’s sad but true, my son has to ask his dad to pray with him. I’m trying my best to raise my children in the word of God and in church. Please pray for me.
Me too tan. I am always praying for my husband to be the spiritual leader of my household.
I will pray for you. If you see this, please pray for my husband, his name is Jason!
i will pray for you
Female from Buffalo NY.
Female from Gatlinburg TN
I am female in mid-Missouri. I really enjoy your articles. Thanks
Male – Jacksonville Florida, USA.
There is ua undeniable imbalance between men and women in the Church, In recent days I have been reading about the Ressurection and it’s interesting to see that it’s the women who had taken the initiative to enquire about the body of Jesus.
We all need to pray for men to rise up to take their God given responsibility in the home, church, community and marketplace,
Wendy, female, Burleson, TX
My husband and I are very involved in our church. My husband loves the Lord, but feels that Christianity is very “feminine”. Talking about being Christ’s bride is very hard for him. He also thinks that there should be more manly things inside Christ’s church and many times it is lacking. It could be as simple as watching games or outreaching to folks who need their yards mowed and houses painted. Women are more likely to open themselves up to unconditional love and adimiting they are flawed in public, than men and I think that is what you have found in your page. Just my opinions. I am interested in what everyone else’s thoughts.
female in mid-Missouri
female; Salem Ohio, USA
Male, Akron Ohio(Portage Lakes)
praise GOD
I am a male from Raleigh, NC, U.S.A.
I am a male from the US. I love the Lord and I know He loves me even more. I do greatly appreciate your blog. I look forward to it every day. And I am using your read through the Bible program as well. Thank you for being faithful to the call of God in your life.
Sterling Heights, Michigan
Do you think men have a difficult time relating the Jesus as He is presented in church? All loving, sweet, and that we are “Bride” of Christ? Do you think macho men can relate — feel comfortable with the way He is presented?
I am female from the eastern panhandle of West Virginia. Thankfully for our family my husband has taken the leadership role spiritually speaking, and also is a trustee of our church and is a Sunday School teacher for the 3-4th graders. For us here, we normally have a stronger showing of elder males than younger males, and women of different age groups.
According to traditional Judaism, women are endowed with a greater degree of “binah” (intuition, understanding, intelligence) than men. The rabbis inferred this from the idea that woman was “built” (Genesis 2:22) rather than “formed” (Genesis 2:7), and the Hebrew root of “build” has the same consonants as the word “binah”. It has been said that the matriarchs (Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah) were superior to the patriarchs (Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) in prophecy. It has also been said that women did not participate in the idolatry regarding the golden calf. Some traditional sources suggest that women are closer to God’s ideal than men.
Furthermore, Paul’s rejection and orders to women in the NT regarding their silence in church was not based on the teachings of Jesus Christ but instead born of his own “prejudices” towards the opposite sex. Note his language in describing it – “I do not permit a woman… ” as opposed to “The lord has said” or “Jesus taught..”
I am female from central Pa. Reply to Jake: Thanks for clarifying Pauls statement that women should be silent in church. There is much controversy over this. Although the church I attend encourages women to teach and take leadership roles in the church, we have a nearby church that very strictly does not allow women to have any leadership roles in the church, (based on this scripture). Because there are not enough men, this causes their church to be “run” by just a handful of participating men.
I found your statement very interesting and refreshing. My husband thought differently. lol I would be interested in hearing more of your philosophies of the bible.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 (KJV) says “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. ” 1 Timothy 2:12 says “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”
You’re getting into very dangerous territory when you start saying that passages of Scripture can be ignored due to what you see as the author’s personal prejudices. If you think of it, almost any command in the Bible could be explained away in the same way. If you are going to be a Bible-believing Christian, you have to accept the Bible as it is, even the less popular parts as this one.
As a Christian I’ve committed to following all commands in Scripture that pertain to me as a woman. Yes that means I can never take a leadership role in the church or home, but the role I have is one that I treasure. I don’t believe these commands were included because Paul had some prejudice against women. They were included because men and women are different and God has placed us in different roles in His church. That is why it’s so important for Godly men to step up in the church.
It’s almost like men are ashamed to admit they have a love relationship with our Heavenly Father. I also (from personal situation) see that my husband thinks he can do everything without turning things over to God. He just cannot do that. As far as bringing up our children…I was always and still am the spiritual leader of our family. If he cannot do it then teh responsibility lies on me and I cannot ignore that!
Our church stresses the importance of men leading their home and church. We have all the men go to the altar for prayer at the beginning of service. It’s refreshing! Although we do have more women picking up the slack in nursery duty, we’re blessed to have such strong Christian male leaders!!
I’m a guy from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I have noticed the same trend in my youth group. There are really only a few leaders that are guys. The rest are girls. It’s actually close to a 2:1 ratio.
My name is Lisa, I’m 22 years old. I live in Ft Worth, Texas
Thank you for this message! It just reminded how The Lord has blessed me with an amazing husband with a heart for God. I haven’t noticed a lack of men within my church, however within my circle of close friends and family, I find men the minority in Christ.
Female, India…
Well it was real nice message Mark,, and even at my home my dad is a pastor and mom was d one who took care of us more.. Dad was rarely there He was involved in the ministry ,, Mom never said anything but later God Spoke to dad changed his heart… these days dad talk to us and tries to understand our problems.. Im 17yrs and please pray for me.. Thank you
God Bless
i will pray for you blanche
female from the Philippines,.
God you pastor, your family and your ministry:D
Hi
I’m not that surprised that the majority are woman. At the beginning of this year my husband told me he wants a divorce, and in my circle of friends 80% of their husbands are also leaving them! Satan is having a field trip with marriages and no wonder, most men are just not interested in working on it. I am at a very low in my life seeing that my 18 year marriage is going down the drain and I still don’t even know why. Hubby dear just simply don’t want to get into any discussions about it. No matter how I pray, or even how much time I devote to God, it just feel like I’m losing everything, even my faith!
I need prayer urgently.
I will pray for you!
i will pray for you!
Corne, I am praying for your situation. Stay strong in the Lord, you need Him more right now than ever. Let Him be your Refuge.
Corne, I am going to pray for you. Please hold on to your faith! My sister is going through the same thing right now after 20 years of marriage. I do not know what is going on with the men in the world right now, but don’t let him hurt the most precious thing you have in this world, your relationship with God!!!!!
God is not making your husband do this. Your husband is acting outside of God’s will. You can remain in God’s will, and though this hurts terribly now, He will bring good into your life in the future!
Romans 8:28! And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
God loves you and wants to comfort you!
James 4:8 – Come near to God and he will come near to you.
There is an awesome devotional called Streams in the Desert. It is helping my sister greatly.
I am glad I looked at the comment string and your comment stood out to me and I will have the privelege of praying for you my sister in Christ!
You are going to be ok. You can do all things through him through strengthens you. Even this!
I hope you see this.
I will pray for you. I am having a difficult time being married for 28 years and my husband is involved with a woman our daughters age.
I am Female and live in Georgia. The leadership role of the man is definetly declining. I can’t tell you how many people I know that either their husband will just not go to church or they have an addiction problem that is hurting the family. The wives I know handle everything that if things were the way it should be the husband would be doing these things or at least doing them in a partnership relationship with his wife.
Female,from Souderton, PA.
(F) California
Male
wow Jesus is really ringing this home through out all the different denominations around the world i know this because this is a topic that is in our church at present my Pastor Jeff Dakers is leading this discussion.. Jesus will use any willing vessel that puts that hand up to be used by hime… this is sad because it is more woman than it is men i am afraid… The Men most certainly need to rise up within the body of christ .. this is also Godly order
female lol you can tell by the name lol but iv’e been noticing that to. my friends are have a hard time getting there parents into church and it seems like once they get there mom it there it takes like a year to get there dad in there if he ever comes at all…. i don’t know what it is about guys maybe they are just to hard headed lol j/k but for real i think thats the reason. and the devil knows that they are the spiritual leader and he is attacking the men.
I am a female from Germany. Same thing here. No men in sight. It is very challenging for us single women looking for a christian partner and therefore are tempted to be lead astray and and seek relationships with non christian men.
I am praying for more men in the churches too.
(Male, 17 yrs)
This is a really concerning problem. Churches need to incorporate things men like to do, (sports, videogames, etc.) with ministry. It worked at my church, I hope it works in yours.
God Bless you all.
oh im from Plant City Florida
Female.. from Jordan-Amman
female from Tilehurst West Berkshire UK
Stop and think about it. It started back in the 60’s when stores started satying open on Sundays. Somebody has to be at those stores to operate them. Flash forward to today. Corporate America only cares about the “bottom line”. Families are waaaay down the list. So with that thinking, men have to support their families by working mandatory Sundays also! If they don’t then WILL lose their income.
Sometimes men forget they can make a choice and working may seem like the easier of the two. Corporate America couldn’t care less if their workers want to go to church or not.
Sorry Jeff, I don’t think it has anything to do with “Corporate America” It has more to do with kicking God out of School and every other aspect of American life. I do agree that the problem began back in the 60’s but I think it has more to do with bringing professional sport into the living room on Sunday. How many people would do anything to make the time to see the game on Sunday, but it’s not worth that effort to make time for Jesus! It use to be that people would go to church on Sunday and then go to work on Mondday and their common interest was the sunday sermon; Today the common interest was Sunday’s game! How many people jump up and down yell and scream for their favorite ball player and then sit on their hand when it’s time to cheer for Jesus??? Don’t try and find an easy scape goat, try and do something that will help lead your circle of friend back to Jesus!
So true! My husband works in retail and luckily, most of his employers have honored his request for every Sunday off, but not always.
Most states still have a law in place that a worker can by law take his Sabbath for worship, and the employer cannot fire him/her, nor deny them their right to take their worship day. Just food for thought. In my employment, I have had to invoke this… they don’t like it, but it is the law.
Sorry but that is just an excuse first of all the day of rest is Saturday not Sunday, Catholics change the date, they were celebrating the Sun, that’s why Sunday which is pagan, Jesus never changed the day from the Sabbath to Sunday, He came to fulfill the law not abolish it, observing the Sabbath is a commandment, none on the Bible says Sunday, men changed the day, in the constitution says that if you need a day off because religion they can’t denied it, also I know many men who do not work Saturday or Sunday and still they don’t go to church. Blessings
I am male from West Virginia. I see it in all of our area churches. Where are all the men?
I have a couple of theories why this is so. While it is true that some men have abdicated their spiritual responsibility I believe that I have another theory. I believe that there has been such a feminization of worship. Some of the songs that are sung in churches give men the willies. While I believe that we need to sing love songs to God, some of them have such sensual overtones that when a man sings them to the Man Jesus Christ they are just plain uncomfortable and go fishing or hunting, or watch the tv.
Keep this in mind you worship leaders and pastors as you develop your worship.
Blessings, Bruce
I’m female from Malaysia. Haven’t really have gender imbalance problem in my church circles.
totally agree, it does appear that men are for the better part missing, some due to work, others just simply for lack of interest. Women do seem to have a better focus spiritually and take a bigger interest. Wonder if there will be more women in Heaven? Hey guy’s, not that it will do you any good but, heaven is where you’ll find them, not a bar nuckleheads. A dose of fire and brimstone really goes a long way to get thier attention.:-)
Female from US – the church of which I’m a member has noticed the same trend, very interesting insight!
Rochester, NY
I think many times in church there are so many ministries aimed toward women..there needs to be more offered for men. My husband is trying to get something started in our church for the men. We already have a mens prayer breakfast 2 times a year. I think many times men have so much on their plates they feel as if they wouldn’t have enough time for it all.
Not truth women have more things in they’re plates and still make time for our Lord Jesus, we have to take care of kids, work, clean house, cook, etc, at least I’m a single Mom, I have to do it all, and still Jesus comes first.
Female-Cary NC
This very issue has been preached about in two of the churches I belonged to–both in GA…both said that fathers have abdicated their role in the rearing of children in all aspects…from physical to spritual. I believed them then and I believe it now!
While my husband attends church and professes faith in Jesus, he rarely spends time with the Lord in prayer or Word (he may pray privately but I’ve never seen him read the Bible except in church). Children learn by example..period! If they don’t see Dad doing it, then they won’t…
While I am grateful for my role as a mother, the father is very significant in the lives of his children! And men are vital to the church and its growth…
female
texas
i agree.
I’m a female from Ocala, FL……my husband doesn’t even believe, reverance, fear or worship God…..been dealing with it for 13 years……….not easy……..and it gets harder and harder the closer I draw near to God
Wow Mark, that was amazing, really mde me want to comment. I am SINGLE and from Hertfordshire. Now I realise even more why I am STILL single. Because not only are there are so few Christan men in my Church, but around the World! Anyone who has a Heart to, please pray for me.
MESSAGE TO ALLISON IN OCALA: Keep praying, the Devil loves nothing more than to discouage a praying Women! Do not dismiss the power of a praying Women. God knows your Heart!
I know the relationship is different, but I had to wait patiently for my Dear Beloved Dad to recive his Faith. Started praying 14 years before he recieved it. Gods timing is SO great, he received Jesus and his love just 1 year before he died! Praise the Lord.
KEEP PRAYING, the darkest hour is just before dawn!
PS. Thats Hertfordshire in England.
As a male from Colorado, USA, I can tell you why I and some of my male friends do not attend Church… It isn’t because we don’t believe or what to be part of it, it simply is that we are tired of the hypocrisy. My own experience as a youth has all but turned me away from my own Church. Too many where Sabbath only Christians. That is they came to Church on Saturday and acted all proud and righteous and then returned to there normals ways on Sunday. Not only that but they often bad mouthed other members of the Church for doing this or that, when in fact they where doing it too… they just weren’t being honest about what they were doing.
My biggest fault is with modern Christianity and Church Leadership. Everybody wants to preach the good news but no one wants to talk about the law. It has become perfectly okay to sin during the week and then come to Church and be forgiven. That isn’t how it works. You are saved by grace but only if you try. If you don’t have a changed heart then there is no grace. Ministers need to teach about the law and doing the right thing and not always the “everybody’s going to heaven stuff”. They also need to stop putting people up as leaders and role models when they know darn well these people aren’t who they claim to be.
I guess this is it, if people were taught the law and how to act and were held accountable for there actions from an early age (aka taught values) more men might still be in Church, both because they want to be and because they wouldn’t feel pushed out by the holier than thou crowd.
I completely agree. Too many men are accepting passive behavior and are not accepting their roles as leaders. I am a teenager and would highly recommend Do Hard Things as a book to read for all other teenagers, especially guys.
Male, 13
Chip I wholeheartedly agree everyone should read Do Hard Things great book for any age. Another great book by their older brother Joshua Harris is Dug Down Deep. Well worth the read.
Hi, I totally agree me myself I have a hard time going to church but this new online movement I like a lot. Us men need to get more into this….reach us by anyway LORD!
David from Detroit!
i agree i like this whole thing you dont wanna stop reading
Male, Paradise, Texas. I have begun to take a more active role in giving the word of God to my children. It is my responsibility and it does say in the Bible that we are supposed to be the spiritual leader of the family.
I am female from Houston Texas, & I also see more spiritual women than men, & it is so important for men to be the spiritual leader in the family, especially those with children.
I see in our churches also that most of attendees is female. Although the pastors put emphasis on the father in the home should be taking the lead in praying,checking, and teaching, not only in the spiritual realm but also in the physical and emotial realm. Seems like more and more women are going to church.
I’m from Mississippi. I have to agree with you on the shortage of men in our churches. Praise God that he has blessed me with a wonderful husband that seeks Jesus and strives to be the spiritual leader of our home and a leader in the church. Ratio of men to women in our church has increased in the past few years, however it is still a low of about 80% to 20%.
I am looking forward to seeing what God reveals to you is the cause. Thanks.
I bless you in Jesus’ name…
❤
Alright a regular guy from California…
I am saddened by the state of the Church and the lack of male leadership. The bible is clear on this point. As a volunteer leader in my churches mens ministry I do all I God wills me and I can to raise up men as leaders. I have been blessed to lead a Men’s group that is now over 60 strong with a clear vision to raise every man up to be a leader in their home, their Church and their community. AND Praise God we are seeing the fruit of our labor as my men slowly enter into other ministries intent on making a difference for God throughout our church.
Honestly I believe the Church has done little to engage men in ways that meet them where they are and stay relevant through their healing and growth. Broken men aren’t interested in hyper-spiritual platitudes or seemingly meaningless religious advice nor are they interested in being treated like a pack mule and taking on every service project that requires a strong back, good heart and a pick up truck.
Who can men trust?
That is the relevant question here. Can I get to know you and trust you the man says quietly to himself. Will you get to know me, not judge me in my brokenness, not laugh at me, not send me to a fix it class. Will you know me, stand beside me, play with me sometimes, work with me occasionally, cheer for our team with me, stand silently and mourn with me when necessary. Then I might show up and ask you to pray for me. Then I might take the risk to open my mouth and worship in front of you. Then I might take a first cautious step toward leading something.
Why are there so few male leaders in the Church? I am not convinced we (the Church) know how to reach them…
To those who lead, with diligence
Be blessed
Ron
Ron, I totally agree with you and bless you for your work in Mens ministry! I think that part of the problem too is that so many churches lack a solid mens ministry to teach their men to lead. In our area, so many churches have at least twice as many womens ministries versus mens and sometimes, no mens ministry at all. Just curious what part of California you’re in??? My husband’s family lives in the Fresno area. By the way, if you get the chance, please check out his website, http://www.menofjesus.org. It’s an online mens ministry encouraging men to lead their world for Christ. 🙂
I agree with Ron, first need to start at the beginning with men to grow them up in a relationship with God and let the Lord be their Father to heal them and as they are on their journey of healing and finding their own relationship with God their Father and have other men around to go through that with them not being judgmental and hypercritical, or a hypocrite, then they will be able to allow God to heal their broken souls and become the man of God they are designed to be. This will take time so there needs to be patience. And for us females we may say ‘step up be a man’, but when they try we don’t like it because it is not the way we want it, so do we really want our men to be the man of God the way he is naturally designed to be, the way God made him in his own personal way or are we being judgmental ourselves and not really trusting God to bring out what he wants in our men? And for the church what is a true relationship with God and being a spiritual leader? Is it really all about works, or is it about relationship with the Lord? I know a lot will say it’s the relationship with the Lord but then they turn around and ask so where are you going to serve, before the guy can get used to the fact he is a Christian a new creature.
The Lord said, my burden is light my yoke is easy, but churches today put a lot of pressure on the man and men feel like failures and so hence will not go to church or even attempt to be a spiritual leader.
Thank you Mark for bring this up this is a great topic.
Thank you Ron for your statement as well.
Female East TN
Its really true, Men dont go to Church, in our local churches, 90% of who attend are women Only women are involved in the church!!! U can seldom get men in fellowships, bible study!!! Men need prayers, to come back to God!!
female living in maine
Male.
I’m a female in North Central, MO.
I too agree that father’s ‘generally’ speaking (not all) are slacking in their role as spiritual leaders in the home. There is evidence of this in our culture.
I think satan uses business and is having a hayday keeping the men too occupied in order to fullfill their God-given role. My husband has fallen in this trap as well.
It breaks my heart as a mom and wife. I have prayed for him, talked with him & I can’t seem to get him to see or want this bad enough to put what he knows he should and is commanded to do in action.
I cannot be his holy spirit convicting him, so I must now do what I can to spiritually lead my children. However, it’s been proven that Dad’s have a greater influence in this area not to mention it’s the way God says it’s to be.
I am from south africa and did not add this on the previous note , sorry. East London , South Africa.
Female…Monterey, TN. I enjoy these alot and it is helping me understand more every day. Thank you and keep up thegood work.
Mark, I am a pastor in Ansonville, NC, USA. I have been pastoring for 17 years and am currently serving in my third pastorate. And yes, I’ve seen the lack of spiritual male leadership in the church. That also means there’s a lack of spiritual male leadership in the home. I read an article some time ago that made sense to me. I don’t remember who wrote the article but is was from a Southern Baptist leader. Basically, it said that there’s a lack of spiritual male leadership because of the male ego (pride). It’s easier for women to submit to the authority of Christ, but it’s more difficult for men to do this because “we” (men) tend to be independent. I certainly understand that. I am praying for God to either raise up or send our church some strong spiritual male leaders. BTW, I enjoy reading your articles!
Female from Houston, TX
Hi I am a female from Charleston, SC. Unfortunately, the male to female ratio is not much different here either! Women heavily out number the men in the church! You are so right. It is time for our Christian brothers to come home to the kingdom, stand up and be the head that God has called them to be!
Female from Tennessee, USA.
Here in the Bible Belt men are very involved in church, but men often have a harder time with the emotions of faith, simply because they have a harder time with faith. About 15 years ago some friends and I were praying that our husbands would be led to a Bible/Bible-based study and a few years later, the men discovered/were found by Christian Leadership Concepts (CLC). In CLC a group of 12 men commit to a two-year study of Bible-based curriculum with units on being a godly leader in the home, church, business, community, etc. The two-year commitment enables men to open up to each other more–men need longer to talk about personal things; women need two minutes. Pray that more men will feel the call the explore their faith through groups like this.
I am a female from Florida.
I am a woman and I live in South Africa. I like your mail every day. Is this maybe the way of the future? sermons on internet?In my community their is a great lack of men in the church. In our church (Methodist) the ladies are about 80%. The 20% males I include the little ones in sunday school.
Male
NY, NY
I haven’t noticed the gender imbalance in the churches that I’ve attended. I was a member of a church in Washington, DC and of another in NY, NY. What I have noticed is that this pertains to me more than it does to my surroundings. My leadership rolls in my household as well as at the church have been nonexistent. This article is convicting and I pray that this conviction lasts. I have strayed away from the church and in turn, my relationship with my Lord and Savior. My Lord has placed his love upon me and in time I will walk the path again. I just hope its more sooner than later and when this occurs, I will be able to take on the responsibilities for my household as well as the church that God has blessed me with.
Male, Sterling Heights, Mi. Our church is blessed with a lot of males who step up to the leadership roles. God is great. I see him working in our church every day.
Female… I too notice; that the women out number the men… But when I see a caring Man in Christ it really touches my heart to know that they are out there… raising their families in Christ. I think by far is the the best quality a MAN can have!
Female from NC. As a matter of fact this has been going on for some time in my area.. I have left the church I had been a member of for 52 years . The main reason is that the men who are supposed to be the leaders of the church have allowed 1 or 2 power hungry people to dictate to the church what they will or will not allow.Men without a spiritual backbone will not take a stand against power grabbing dictators even though they don’t agree with them.These things aught not so to be brethren!
It is true! We do have a lot of active men in our church, but the majority are women. My husband has not attended church in 10 years. We homeschool and I do all of the teaching, he earns the money, that is how he likes it. Dr. Rogers said that the man is the head of the home. He can delegate as he likes, but he still bears the responsibility of the results.
female from Peachtree City, Georgia.
Female from West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
Female here from Alabama, USA. From my perspective it seems that some men need to feel like they are in control, when it should be God controling them. They feel less than a man if they give control to God. Women are the more submissive of the sexes so it’s a lot easier for us to give up control. This is why we see a lot more women involved in church, spiritual guidance for children, prayer, etc.
I attend church regularly, but my husband has only been to church about twice in over three years. This holds true for a lot of families in my area. The women bringing their children to church are not all single women, but more likely women whose husbands are less spiritual and choose to stay home.
My prayer is that there will be a revival among men and more of them step up and give control to God! Our families depend on it!
Tess
love your writings so uplifting thanks so much
Female from the Island of Puerto Rico. I’m happy to say that the opposite is happening at my Church. Especially, with the young adult males…
Male from philippines
Pastor Mark,
I am a single mom of 3 living near State College PA….I have noticed over the years more and more women having lead roles in their churchs…my father was a minister while I was growing up…during my jr. year of HS he left us for another woman….my father not only left us but he left everything behind and see’s nothing wrong with what he has done….I’ve been married and divorced twice…neither men were Christians and so I have always been the one in my home teaching my children about the Word of God….Even though my father was a minister it was my mother who did most of the teaching, right from wrong, spiritual, morals, etc, in my home growing up because my father was to “busy” to spend the time with us…he sent mixed messages….My mother and I talk daily and over the years about 95% of the couples from my fathers church are now divorced….the men have re-married and have left all of their spiritual and God loving ways behind them while the women remain single and involved with a church and their grown children and grandchildren….Many of these men have little or no contact with their children or grandchildren….my father happens to be one of those men….I don’t understand how anyone can turn their back on our Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit once you have knowledge of God’s Word.
Hi Mark: Just wanted to say that you are right that men are not going to church.
Many young men especially. Seems that the church needs to change and do things differently. Less programming, more relationship building. Jesus is all about relationships not about the program. Men are searching for the truth and it is a crying shame that they aren’t finding it in the church. In many that inability to find the truth is showing in their marriages as well. We as Christian parents need to feed our children (especially our boys) with the truth of God’s word and know when to step aside and let God feed them for Himself. I think that may be where we fail… we try to do what God needs to do Himself. I pray that I may hear Gods voice clearly when it comes to my 3 sons and their lives with Him. Trust and Truth are the main keys that open the door to their walk with Him.
Thanks for your fb page, in all the status’s I get throughout the day, yours reminds me where my heart is on a daily basis!
God bless you!
It’s so sad, but true. In our own church we find it very difficult to find men who will step up and take any type of leadership role. This has bothered me for years because our church buses in about 70 kids a week who for the most part have no father in the home. Then they come to church and find very few men there compared to the number of women. It breaks my heart. How will these young boys learn how to be a Godly man? How will these young ladies know what to look for in a Godly husband? Who is there setting the example for them? I have 3 girls and am so thankful that God has placed in my life a man who is willing to take the leadership role, to pray with his wife every morning, to set the example for his girls daily that they can find a man who is willing to let God have complete control of his heart and life. I pray daily that they wait for that one Godly man that God has set aside just for them.
Female,Kenya. It is a true observation all over the world. I think men have no excuse for not being involved in the church. Let us pray for our men!
Female…from Superior WI 🙂
Male from Texas, U.S.A.
Yeah i can see the imbalance of more women stepping up to teach and worship God in the church than men are.
I dont really understand it, but im guessing its that vulnerable feeling you get when you show yourself as a loving and caring person.
As a guy im not taught to be nurturing, well at least not by the world.
Its funny how the men are in charge of the church but the women are the ones teaching the classes and stepping up when it comes to other things like leading praise and worship sessions.
I dont understand it completely. By stepping up to lead bible study class and singing in the worship band, I can fulfill the role that God has revealed to me in being an example among my fellow brothers.
By setting the example, more and more of the young males are seeing that its supposed to be the guy that steps up to lead and nurture.
So the imbalance is explainable, the women will step up if the men dont. I pray that more men will realize their role in the church, and work diligently to fulfill that God-given position.
Ventura, CA.
I’ve noticed this imbalance also. I spent 12 years in the Navy, and the population is about 90/10 male/female, yet military church service attendance is about 60/40 male/female. In every non-military church I’ve been to, women always outnumber men, and the best ratio I’ve seen is 40/60 male/female. I’ve known dozens of women who are struggling with non-Christian husbands, but cannot recall any men struggling with non-Christian wives. In my own marriage quite often I feel as though I’m dragging my husband to church and it seems the only reason he goes along with it is to get fed after.
I don’t understand why men are so uninterested when they are so priveledged and elevated in the Bible. Men were given strong bodies and a disposition to logic and problem solving. Women were assigned weak bodies and emotional dispositions, with the burden of reproduction and endless mental & physical problems caused by hormones. Of all of the Judges named, only 1 was a woman, even though so many of the male judges had major sin issues. Of all of the kings of Israel (both good and bad), only 4 queens are named and all 4 are bad or questionable. Job garners sympathy for his troubles and lengthy discourse is made of his theology, yet the single moment his wife is portrayed is when she lashes out during the initial shock of finding out that all of her children were killed and they were destitute besides.
As far as the Bible and church not appealing to men enough: how is Ephesians 5 not appealing? Paul and Peter both commanded women to be quiet, submissive, and obedient to their husbands because God has elevated the man over the woman. In every single theology God favors and promotes men above women, so why aren’t the churches filled with men having prayer meetings every Monday night right before the football game?
I’m Michael from Egypt,
But I’m 18 so I guess I don’t need to step up to be a good husband or father,,,I’ll try to be a good son , brother & friend !! 🙂
Female from Greenville, S.C.
male represention all the small towns in NE Colorado!
I wanted to write I’m male from Egypt but accidentaly I forgot & wrote my name..Sry 😀
Male from CT, I had no spiritual leader growing up, neither of my parents taught me about God or Jesus. I have been saved, and have taken the role of spiritual lead in my home, with support from my loving wife
Many churches have adopted a weakened, femanized version of the gospel with the mistaken idea that it will have a greater appeal to the masses. Pastors, you set the tone and tenor for this message. In that approach you fail to connect with the fight in the warrior or the striving spirit of the competing athlete. Quite simply many churches fail to connect with the essential male – those elements that are unchanged by the imposition of or facade of political correctness. Are you really that mystified as to where the men are? Start paying closer attention to the message coming from the pulpits around the globe. Is it “seeker sensitive” or “truth sensitive”? The two are not necessarily exclusive, but they are definitely different.
Totally agree with you, Bob! Churches definitely need to promote the warrior in our men! Men are not wired by God to be “sensitive and nurturing.” They are the warriors! 🙂
28 single male from new braunfels,tx.
I am female from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. My church consist of majority of females. One of the things that I do like about my church is the number of young married couples that are members of my church. I love 4th Sunday when the male choir sings, to see so many young men living their life for the Lord.
Female from Thessaloniki, Greece
I am a female, from Mississippi. This is a very interesting article! I hope that this article will grab the attention of men all around the world. In my experience, women need spiritually strong, supportive husbands and those families who have that thrive. Children need to grow up seeing that BOTH parents support a Christian life!
Hi, I am one of those mothers in whom the sole responsibility for my girls spiritual well being has been placed. It is very true. I didn’t grow up in a spiritual home but at the age of 14 I gave my heart to the Lord, my senior year of high school I let my relationship with God take a back seat, then married a non-believer. Now I have two wonderful girls and I am fighting for their souls. Sometimes I get a little discouraged and exhausted with the fight, but then I look at this world and then my girls and I know I have to keep on and that no matter how tired I am my sweet Savior’s peace will envelope me and His love is worth it all.
I totally agree with you Mark. Men must step up & be more responsible with issues about the church. We must stop hunging around the beer bars & engage ourselves in more in church.
I am a 44 year old mother of two. Divorced. I have always taken the lead in my household to be the spiritual teacher. My prayers to the Lord are asking to be lead to a man who will first love the Lord with all his heart, then his wife, etc.. I look around in my church and I am so rejoiceful to see there are still a lot of men who go to church with their wives/girlfriends.
I am from Albuquerque, New Mexico – USA
44 year old male from Cleveland, Texas. Highly active in my church and in my families lives.
I am female from Connecticut. I have absolutely noticed the same thing, especially in the younger generations. I am 40 and I see very few men, my age or younger, in church. I also continue to pray. God is absolutely working in my husband. Of course it is not with the speed that I would like but I have finally learned to not question His time! 🙂
I’m a 54 year old female, and I live in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. I enjoy your daily posts.
There are more women in action, than men at my church. I believe there’s too much tradition and not enough opportunity is giving to the men that are there to help them develop and grow into the spiritual leaders they are suppose to be in the church and at home. Sometimes we don’t understand why men take the backseat, but I believe it’s because they are not given the opportunity to be leaders. Also I think that if they really understand their purpose and who they are, it will cause them to stand regardless of what man may say. The men are needed more so now more than ever. God bless you and keep you as you continue to spread the Gospel!
female from riggins idaho, usa
Female in Ohio, USA. Divorced mom of 3 kids. Been raising them alone for 10 years. Fortunately, I have found a great church with some men who are willing to be good role models.
Mark,
You’re right. I wonder why that’s the case? Is it because men are proud and feel embarrassed too mention they even go to church? I’m not proud. I love going to church and getting into the word and getting fed. Its funny on how younger generations mostly don’t believe in going to church and believing in God until their older. Sad. Its almost as if they feel they are convicted to because of their actions when they were younger. I’m 28 years old and glad that I have Jesus in my life and a relationship with him! :-).
i m a female from kinshasa drc
The hard truth is that when a man walks into a Western Church, he is treated little differently than anywhere else in Western society.
Women are encouraged to be all they can be as a woman, men are encouraged to deny their masculinity and become something they are not.
The only occasion where men are encouraged to be men in the Church is in formal ministry.
Most men aren’t called to formal ministry, and even fewer are prepared to fight the red-tape to achieve it.
We have women’s groups during the week, but men’s groups attract few if any.
Truth be told, it’s just not blokey enough for most of us.
Most men are hands on.
The majority of men in the Western world need a shake-up big time.
We’re so emasculated we shy away from the idea of being a bloke and doing blokey stuff.
We need to start small.
The best pastor I know gets a barbecue happening at his place once a month where newcomers are specifically invited and members are encouraged to bring a plate.
The retention rate of men is pretty high compared to other Churches.
From there, he encourages men to get involved in mission trips to places like Fiji where some people have nothing but the clothes on their back and a straw hut to sleep.
For most of us guys, it’s life-changing stuff.
I pray that something similar will happen in your Church.
That blokes can have bloke time just like women have their time.
And in so doing, we can have powerful Churches the world over where the gifts God has given us for the benefit of the Church will be put to full use, and the body of Christ will become complete!
Ok, so where are they and what are they doing then? They have to be somewhere doing something.
Female BTW
Male from Ghana
i was brought up in a Christian family, went to church every Sunday and even on weekdays when necessary. i haven’t been to church in a little over 9yrs now, i have been looking for a church where i wont be jugded or i can recognise myself with with no luck. Pray for me so i can find my way.
Thank you.
Female from Baltimore City. I love your blogs and look forward to receiving them every morning. You are truly an inspiration and help me to start each day off with a better attitude. God Bless You.
I am a female, from Miami, Florida USA… you know I never noticed this until I read this article..come to think of it at my church it is mostly women other than for the priest and maybe half the church choir the majority is women, and people who attend I would say it is about 65% women 35% men. You do a wonderful job. I enjoy reading your articles. God Bless.
I’m a female from Williamsburg, Virginia.
I am female from Edwardsburg, MI. I am the only one in my house who attends church. My kids used to, when they were little but, it is much easier to go the way of the unbelieving father. I pray for their conversion every day.
I was thinking the same thing, I have a bible study page called “Food for your Soul” in case you want to check it out, but anyway, I was looking at mine and it’s, I believe 70% women on my page. Where ARE they????
Female from Missouri USA.
Growing up, most of the churches I attended were female dominant and the church I’m in now, has only recently become more family oriented with the husband taking the leadership role.
What is unique in our church, we have a lot of males because of a unique ministry we have to men from a major homeless shelter who are for the most part, from a program teaching these men how to be Christian men after they accept Christ as their Savior. They live in a special building at the shelter and are required to attend church and our pastor is a counselor there as his 2nd job. So we have about 15 men who come faithfully and have become members. Several even move close to our church after graduating the program. So we are not a typical church.
Male from KENYA. i have been seeing young men who have delved into taking cheap illicit n illegal drinks hence even damaging even their reproductive systems. i think the men issue should be tackled from a tender age eg 13 and be taught of what is expected of them in the society. Thank you
I am a male, and I live in south Georgia. I believe you hit the nail on the head with this one. There seems to be many more women not only ATTENDING church, but also INVOLVED with church activities. The problem seems to be that men look at such things as “women’s” work. This is clearly contradictory to the bible though. Men have a calling to be the spiritual leaders, as well as community, and household leaders. It is happening far to often that men are giving up the responsibilities. I pray your blog will convict men everywhere to step back into our God given roles.
my name is Bella from the dominican republic,i believe that God is everywhere n anywhere u are u can communicate with him in ur heart….
I live in North Central Arkansas. Your evaluation is interesting; and accurate. This is essentially the same message that Coach Bill MacCartney has shared for years through the Promise Keepers ministry. (I suggest that anyone who hasn’t read Seven Promises of A Promise Keeper do so.) The Bible clearly puts the spiritual leadership responsibility on the husband/father. I certainly don’t want to tacke anything at all away from the ladies. There is no greater prayer warrior than a woman who is sold out for Christ and on her knees. It almost seems as though their prayers carry a little more weight. In relating to your point, it seems as though families are especiallyblessed in which the husband/father is taking the spirtual leadership role. There are places in which there are larger percentages of men that are more involved. I could go on but won’t. I just want to say thanks. I hear where some make fun of this stance but the words of Jesus come to mind: …please forgive them for they do not know what they are doing..
In Christ.
Female from Ames, IA!
I am female from Knoxvile,Tennessee.USA
Female : Trinidad and Tobago, I personally feel that the men in my society has failed to lead in the way God intended them to. The men who are seeking a closer walk with God are married and dedicated to the extreme. However, There seem to be very little or no men leaders in the making in my church and surroundings. The ratio is almost 4:1 here on the island. There is a sense of desperation amoung the women to get married at all cost. It’s almost like being selected to an elite club. I think it started when the women had no choice but to leave the home to seek financial stability. The males in society are now expecting the women to serve in multiple roles and its giving them less to do, with very little purpose. Thank you for your articles and prayer. May God bless you richly.
female from Texas
Female, McLoud, Oklahoma. Recently married to a wonderful man who loves God and his church.
female
Brookhaven, Ms.
I am male from delaware,i have noticed their are many more women in churchs today than men.It may come from the way society has put men down for so long and now they believe it.What has the church done to try and help? Their answer is sometimes to hold a mens retreat once a year or maybe a mens breakfast once a month.We as a body have drop the ball in this area.It is hard to put great effort in so many areas ,as the needs in the world are great.But this is a area we need to work on.
I am a man pastoring a small rural church and this lack of mens leadership is not new. Even though we have a good group of strong men in our church fellowship, they do prefer that the women do the work. I think that we have life too easy, if we were under persecution (AND WE MAY BE SOON)then I believe the men would step up to face the challenge. I am located in Louisiana.
Male, 50 Father of 5
I live in Kenosha WI., Near lake Michigan and the Illinois State Line.
My Church’s Men’s Bible Study Group has had this very same discussion We are at a loss as to how to get more men to come to Church. Most importantly the younger generations. Would love to hear any Idea’s anyone has!
I recall as a child our church in Detroit, MI had a baseball team, bowling league, etc. I still have my Dad’s baseball shirt which must be >55 years old. Community, fellowship, relationship and all be actions of God.
Hello, I am a male from metro east st. louis. My pastoral staff had noticed the same thing about a year or two ago and had a sermon series on it. From that and a number of male leadership courses, classes and one on one time with the staff we have seen dramatic growth of male leadership inside the church. whether or not that is carrying over to the household is something i dont know that we could really determine, but it is encouraging to see the growth within the church.
I am female, in Atlanta GA. I ask that everyone please pray for singles who desire godly relationships, but have encountered difficulties in finding godly mates.
29yr old female from Monroe Michigan with a husband and three kids 🙂
Female from Dallas, Texas
Your website is a blessing! For that I pray God blesses You.
Female, Omaha, Nebraska. I am the spiritual leader in my family plus an Elder (Spirtual Leader) at my Church, but my husband, is learning more everyday about Jesus. I know Jesus sees the desires of my heart to where my husband will enjoy going to church one of these days. Jesus is a good teacher and is very patient in his growing up in the Him (Lord). My church, I see alot of men in my church leading out. I am very happy about that. Being part of the body of Christ can be very intersting. I just don’t know which part of the body I am. The toe or the mouth. Jesus has his hands on this situation with the men and I just feel that the men throughout the world will kick in and be a Joshua before Jesus returns. How Joshua wanted to go into the Promise Land the first time around. All I can say…what an inspiration. Finally, Joshua did take the children of Israel 40 years later into the Promise Land that flowed milk and honey.
I am a teenage female from ATL, GA. I do think that men need to rise up, but just because the majority don’t participate often does not mean none do. I know many awesome men of God that provide strong foundations for their families. We should pray for more, but we should pray without judgment.
Female. Montana, USA.
I am Grace from Kisumu Kenya and sadly,that is the reality even in my church. Women are more than men in church and also, many families are run by women alone.
My husband is a wonderful Spiritual leader within and without of our home and i thank God for him. I have a burden for Christian marriages, that they will be run God’s way.
Male, 42, UK
> Within the household I need to do way more,
> to step up and get more involved
> in the spiritual development of
> my kids: Anna (8), Matty (6), Jack (3) and Patrick (1).
> This is a join [sic] effort with my wife Lou”…
I venture to guess that Lou is most unlikely to mind it if Mark contributed *in deeds* even if Mark didn’t bother announcing it to Lou, Anna, Matty, Jack and Patrick *in words*.
Perhaps deeds–especially towards others, not just self and family–is a better way to express our faith than mere words and more words and even more profound words. Perhaps having the children see their parent(s) being kind and generous towards others constitutes setting an example which contributes even more to their spirituality than mere words or more words ever could.
Could it be that many of the devout men are spending so much of their time and energy in the ‘do’, thus not leaving much for the ‘say’–is that so bad?
Female, SC.
Interested when I saw this on a friend’s FB page since my husband stopped going to church about 8 years ago. Would love to hear some research on why men are leaving/not interested in church today.
Response to Corne: Satan is on the attack. He can’t have our souls, so he will try to steal our marriages and homes. Be mad at Satan, not your spouse. You can’t change your spouse, or “make” him talk to you or respond to you. You can only work on Your relationship with Jesus. This has been a huge turning point for our 20+ year marriage. It is a slow process. Trust God with your spouse, and focus on what He wants to teach YOU right now. It is not easy, but it is SO WORTH IT.
I wonder (in my own life, and in the church’s) if this is one reason so many men are leaving the church. Do we as women take over because the men don’t do things the “right” way, then the men abdicate? I can’t speak for others, but I know this has been true in my home, and with the resurrection power of Jesus in me, it is changing. Slowly but surely. Praise God!
Male from Lebanon, TN
Great insight and thanks for putting the men up to a challenge. So many think that they are leading and have more to do. Thank you for your humble leadership in this are!
Female from Zimbabwe. Men are there in our church but they choose to be pew warmers. Even when there are programs/gatherings directed specifically at them, they choose not to attend. And even when there are programs for the church in general it is difficult to get them involved. I don’t know if it’s an ego thing or what but it’s quite disheartening.
I am a female from Omaha,NE. My husband attended a workshop on this very topic a few years ago and read a book about where have all the men gone?
I’m a 29 year old male from the Washington DC area.
I’ve been raised in church all my life, even went to a baptist university. About 4th or 5th grade is when I started to have male Sunday school teachers and on up. I know I can only speak for myself, but I do what I can, almost to the point where I am doing too much. I teach 9th & 10th grade guys on Sunday morning and help out with the youth on Saturdays, along with helping out with VBS. I have done discipleship in the past when I’ve lived in other parts of the country.
Part of the reason I tell you that part is I feel like it is my duty as a Christian to work with the youth. While I was in my last semester of college my parents got a divorce. There were and still are some issues with that, that I’m still wrestling with now. But from what I saw a lot of growing up is when something knocked you down hard people just checked out. I was where God wanted me to be and had a wonderful support group, that wouldn’t let me check out. I personally feel like these kids today need to know that.
But men stepping up is not only just in the church but it is everywhere in our society. Places like Big Brother/Big Sister are always short on men. I personally think it is because so many men have checked out on their responsibilities as a man, to honor and care for their wife, to direct their family, to be that spiritual leader.
Oh I saw this link on a friend’s facebook status, and she was female.
Male from Iran.
Female Swannanoa, North Carolina
Female In TN, but from NY
Could it be that woman have taken over so many roles that man were designed to do, that the men don’t feel the need to lead as the head of the house or attend church?
As a Single mother, I am the one that has been the trainer for my son( of course with the help of the Lord) but When my son was looking for a spiritual councilor, Men from the church would start to mentor him, then they would drop him because they didn’t have time. They told me that was his fathers role, but they didn’t understand that my EX was not interested in being there for my son. Scripture says that in the end times we will become lovers of ourselves. 2 Timothy 3
I’m a female from Leland, IA. I’m 54 and have been divorced for 15 years from a man I was married to for 21 years. I have never remarried because I refuse to settle for anyone or anything that would distract me from my Jesus. I have found my God and I will never let Him go. Yes, there are good men out there, but where are all the Godly men? I know that they are out there too, and I pray that they will rise up snd assume their God given positions. Blessings ♥
I am a male from Milton, Florida. I agree, us men need to step up. The past has shown us that when the man of the house chooses to not go to church and leaves it up to the wife to take the kids to church. Once the boys get to the age they can choose to go to church or stay home, they will follow dad’s lead and stay home.
Melvin Penn, Male…Baltimore Maryland…. its does appear that many of the brothers are missing in action and it could be because of a lot of reasons. There is no one reason to blame…personally I believe that women in the church are the crown of each man that knows or has a relationship with sister in the church… rather it his mother, sister, daughter, or wife. A woman is the backbone of her man…she is helper and cheer leader…as a mother she nourishes her children and prepare them …so many women go to the one source that can fix their man and pray…they go to the Father…God knows someone prayed for me…I believe it was a women, because that who is in the church…and now so am I Thanks sisters for all your prayers God hears you.
To Him be the glory, forever and ever, Amen female, mid-fifties, South Carolina
Our church is known as a family church The men have stepped up to take leadership roles, not only in their families, but in the church, and we are growing by leaps and bounds,adding on and remodeling our facilities to make more room. Our beloved pastor has been here for 30 years and has always stressed the importance of raising the children to be responsible young adults and training them early to take part in services and as witnesses to God’s grace. When the truth of the gospel is taught, it makes a difference in lives, in the community and in the world. Otherwise, we are just filling pews and playing church.
white, 50 yr old female – Hazel Green, AL (a small town north of Huntsville, AL) Thank you for your uplifting, thought provoking blogs!
iam lacy from missouri,USA. Iam 28, and have been a christian for the last 8 years, the lord brought me out of so very much. iam so thankful for his love. as far as the issue at hand, i feel it is true, i notice at my own church women are the ones who step up most often. my pastor has preached on this issue, and one day he had all the men stand up and he prayed for them all and it was a very touching thing to watch, i even cried. alot of the women did. we do need the men, to be more involved.i look forward to reading why u think this is. God bless.
This post made me realize how rare men like my husband are. We met while working in our individual ministries within the body of Christ and I blessed to have him as a spiritual partner, companion and counselor.
Female, Arizona
Definitely notice how many woman are the spiritual leaders or spiritual “singles” in our church… Our pastor has stepped up and is now having an annual men’s conference called “Man Up!” – it was a huge event last year with about 500 men and teenage boys attending! Several gave their lives to Jesus and were baptized. It’s coming up again in May, so excited to see how God will move through our community. BUT…
While my husband made a gesture of commitment to Jesus and was baptized a couple years ago while we were working on marital difficulties, there ahs been no growth and his church attendance has become sporadic at best and he has even started pooh-poohing things of the Lord on occasion. His best friend is guy from work half his age who likes to drink and acts the same way spiritually, funny how the younger influences the older… Not one man from our church has reached out to him in any way, inviting him to do “guy” stuff, asking him to come to the conferences – whether he would go or not I don’t know, but if he doesn’t even feel like anyone cares if he’s there or not, why would he go on his own??
I long for him to become the spiritual leader through example, you don’t have to be a long-time mature believer to show the example of Bible study and prayer, cleaning up your language and knocking off the party lifestyle… We have a 2 1/2 year old, and I have been convicted myself of the ways I live that would not be an example for her to follow…
Well, the prayer of my heart will continue to be for him to be spiritually thirsty and find that only God can quench that thirst, that fellowship with believers is fun even tho’ we don’t chug a bunch of beer at our picnics, and for one or two solid Christian men to reach out to him in friendship and show him a different way…
The Lord has shown me over the last year, my husband’s heart is God’s business and I have enough issues of my own I need to work on and worry about. If I am seeking righteousness and the right way for myself, and being an example for my daughter, that will be blessed. My prayers for my husband must be sincere and for God’s will in his life, not mine…
I lift up a prayer for all the spiritual singles out there, men and women, who are trying to walk The Walk despite their spouses’ lack of commitment. It is not easy…
Thanks, Rev Mark, for a very insightful post today!
What church do you call home?
Sister, I know. I’m in the same boat you are. Keep praying and believing, it will work.
I am a male, age 46.
The lack of true male leadership in today’s church is really sad. The women do a great job but the men need to step up and take the roles that God intended for them.
The feminization of men in today’s culture as a whole is a prime example of Satan’s infiltration into all things human. We as Christians have to stop the leaks and cracks that allow Satan in.
Yes I think it is very sad that men are just nonexistent for the most part in the church. Especially set apart men. This is why I’ll never marry. Even though I deeply desire to be married and to serve God with my husband and know I would be a wonderful wife, I just cannot in the right mind even imagine giving my heart to and sharing my life with a selfish disrespectful ungodly person who doesn’t care about the things of the Lord. The church is suffering greatly because if the lack of leadership, involvement, and godliness of men overall and so are the set apart Christian women who are ageing every day like me who desire to have a beautiful godly marriage but won’t settle for less. In my mere observation, and I don’t mean anyone offense here, it just seems like most men are exactly that: less! It’s sad and I know Gid expects more than that out of His men. Where did all the people in general go who love the Lord?? : (
Female, Bratislava, Slovakia – Europe.
We have here a christian youth organisation and I have just checked the percentage of women and men (girls and boys 🙂 )… 63%women and 37%men… well not the best, but we try to take care that men have the leading role.
Hi Our God is such an awesome God. He works his miracles in His time and the best thing we as women can do is to continue to pray all the time, good times and in bad, and keep asking God to give us wisdom. Our walk with God reflects on our husbands when they see us, and especially when God is truly at work in our lives. I pray that my husband will find the same “yearning to want to read God’s Word ” . God will have mercy on whom he chooses to have mercy on. His greatest commandment is to love one another. Our Lord can pull us out of even the worst situations He can mend, He can heal, He can change people. – without constant prayer not much will change, not much will happen, start talking to Jesus with the belief in your heart that He is constantly right here with you because He is and He is so much wanting us to come to Him as we are, however that may be, that’s what He says “Come as you are” with all our cares every one of them and thank Him for everything good and bad. He does hear you, just believe.
Wow…your post just blew me away. I just got off of the phone with my cousin (female) about last night at church. We were talking about my daughter. I have been separated from her mom for some years (due to my addictions) and have not been in her life much. Recently the Lord moved me to step up to the plate and be a part of her life. She is 13. I got her going to church with us on Sunday’s and Wednesdays She goes into the youth service on Wednesdays with my cousins daughter who is 17 and working on being a youth pastor. Last night I guess they had an alter call for those who are struggling with issues. My daughter has been getting into some trouble at home and school. Smoking pot, being defiant and so forth. Courtney told me while taking her home last night ” Dad, I think God touched my hear”. I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus. God has put me where I need to be. To be her father and by my actions will she see what the Lord can do. Yes you are so right in saying that the fathers need to step up to the plate and guide their children. My cousin told me that her daughter was praying that my daughter would go up to the alter call and low and behold she did. My daughter doesn’t know I know this and nor will I let her know I know this. But what an AWESOME God we have. Thank you for your post today and fathers who read this…IT IS OUR CALLING TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND LET THE LORD GUIDE US IN BRINGING OUR CHILDREN TO HIM AND TEACHING THEM ABOUT JESUS. Amen. Please pray for my daughter Courtney that she continues to feel the presence of the Lord in her heart and that I continue to due what ever it is the Lord leads me to do. Everyone have a blessed day, I know I am.
Greg Phillips, Columbus, Ohio
female; Lee’s Summit, MO
I’m female from WV, formerly from WA
I’m a female, who moved from Amarillo, TX to Raleigh, NC eight months ago due to my husband taking a job offer here. Women as the spiritual leaders in the church has been something that I have noticed my whole life even in different denominations. And, I have watched men step up to the plate in a church as spiritual leaders and some of the women would complain that it was too chauvinistic. This is definitely an issue that needs a lot of prayer! God bless you!!!
I am grateful to say that is not the case at my church. Or the body of churches my church belongs to, Sovereign Grace Ministries. One of the many things people notice when visiting SGC for the first time is how many men, married and singles are in attendance. How involved they are in leading their families by example: prayer, worship, taking notes, teaching classes, serving … the list can go on and on. The men in our churches are servant/leaders. Love it, grateful to God for it, grateful to my husband for being one of them.
Men do need to step up. I have found that men just step back when it comes to spiritual leadership. Of course there are exceptions. But when it comes to men being the spiritual leaders in a family, they just are not ready, willing and perhaps not able. It really does make a huge difference in the childrens lives later down the road. From my experience when the moms have to take over the father role it is not the same and the women at some point resent having to do this. So many men have turned themselves into automatically deposited pay checks with medical benefits.
Female, I live in the Rockies in Canada (Canmore)
Male from Texas. In the last 20 years, my wife and I have been active in 3 churches. The gender balance was precisely that – balanced. I have had the opportunity to minister to young men through Royal Rangers programs, teaching Sunday School, and helping out with youth group.
There is no question that I could do a better job of leading my family at home, but I think that’s a given, as is my own personal walk. No matter what level of maturity we are at, there’s always room for improvement. That’s not meant as a cop out to minimize my obligations and responsibilities – it’s a daily reminder of my need for a deeper walk.
Mark, I do enjoy the blog and the newsletter. It is a blessing, a challenge, and an encouragement.
I’m 16 and from the UK. My 3 brothers are amazing men of God. My eldest brother is married and involved in the youth and childrens work at his church and has also been a foster parent with his wife. The middle of the brothers is taking on role of preacher and also runs the musical side of our church. The youngest of my older brothers is really developing in his relationship with God and is really evangelising at work. I don’t understand why the youngest 2 aren’t married when they are the right age and everything! Out of my Christian facebook friends, the most of them are female
although going to Christian youth events I’ve seem that, generally, most of them are guys. Gosh this is a confusing topic :oS sorry about the extremely long comment!
Male from Germany.
I just recently listened to this teaching about being a man/husband according to the scripture.
I found it very interesting as most sermons by this preacher.
I am female and live in Eureka, Ks. My children are all adults with families now. I have three and two of them are followers of God and baptised. I just had a talk with the one who has not chosen this path, again, and told him the importance, not only in his life, but to me, that he become involved in a church and get baptised. He has four children that need to know God and have God’s word as a way to lead them in their lives. At this stage in their lives, things are not looking good. I also expressed to him that it was very important to me to know that I will be with all of my children and grandchildren, in heaven. Thank you for another way to fill my day with His love and wisdom.
Female in MN
I do see this as a problem too in some places. My own experience is very different though. My biggest faith examples and supports in my life have in large part been men. My dad, one of my dad’s best friends (who was pastor at the church I grew up in until I was 10 or so and still inspires my walk with God today), 2 of my Sunday school teachers (6th grade and 12th grade), and currently I have 2 male friends who are very much a part of my faith circle. Not that I don’t have sisters in faith, I do. But God has always put wonderful men of God and faith in my life. They are out there and they do want to make a difference! I find it interesting that in scripture our main examples are men (and they weren’t wimpy by any means), so you would think that we would see that carried out in life now too.
I am a woman living in Lytham st Annes near Blackpool England, I believe that we have more than one issue here, firstly as a whole men dont like to show there feelings, they are told all there life to be brave, only sissies cry etc,secondly… they dont interact as easily as women, my husband feels rejected at church sometimes because people don’t chat with him the same way as they do with me, he finds it hard to open a conversation at times too and feels insignificant. then theres the third point, women in general have more time for church, they want to escape by meeting church friends and get together with kids groups etc. where as men wanna either watch the tv or go for a pint of beer to relax. I know this sounds stereotypical but I am only speaking in general. I also feel its easier for females to “fall in love” with Jesus in an intimate way than it is for men its just the way we are bought up women jump in with there heart a lot easier than men who are generally more guarded and need to suss it all out with there head, henceforth some just cant get there head around stuff. hope this makes sense to someone out there, all I can say is pray pray pray
The church has been “sissified” My FB update yesterday said the following,
(Moses murdered a man and buried him in the sand. Elijah called down fires from heaven and burnt men up. The Warriors of David would just spit and the grass would die. Sampson killed a thousand philistines. Peter cut a man’s ear off. The church of the first century was a magnet to men, even sinners loved the church, REAL MEN! Just because I love the Lord does not make me less masculine…)
Men are led to believe that the church is all about “feelings and emotions” in this century. Men do not want to be led by feelings and emotions. Men seek power and dominion. The feminine side of church needs to be balanced out with the masculine side. There needs to be more messages in church that calls for men. More messages ob risk and adventure instead of “safety” In my opinion, the church needs to rethink there ways of bringing men back to church. But this will not happen within the church walls.
I am male and from Forest, Virginia!
Yes this is something I’ve been struggling with. What man is out there that will be more of a ‘man’ than me?? More of a spiritual leader? I may not be the most submissive woman, but I can’t wait to respect and love a Godly man who truly deserves it!
I found a link to this article on a friend’s facebook page. It is a subject that I find interesting and into which I have looked and studied for some time. The Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy telling him to teach to faithful men the things that Paul had taught to him. The problem is that too often in our modern society men are pushed aside and not allowed their natural place of leadership in their family and church. Much of the fault lays with the church leadership itself. To often I see churches comprised of “the pastor and his harem”. They may not be a “harem” in the traditional sense of the word, but the men – as you have noted – are absent. In my own ministry we have purposely set the goal of reaching out to men. By reaching out to the men we usually reach the whole family. If you target children often you will not reach the parents, and often you will lose them in their teen years. Again, reaching out to youth you will often not reach the parents. And reaching out to women the men will usually not be interested. But by reaching out to the men and leading them into a personal discipleship role with Jesus the Christ as their mentor and guide, we reach the whole family. In the congregation the Lord has put under my care we have mostly families. As the members grow and mature we will be able to reach out to a broader spectrum of the society around us, but first one must lay a strong foundation. The biggest struggle we face, working in Latin America, is in bringing men to the point where they are willing to offer their bodies as a living sacrifice and allow their minds to be transformed and renewed by God’s word as the Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 12. As people are transformed into God’s image the rest of their life falls into place and they are better able to minister to each other.
Female from new york
I am a female from Dallas, TX =]
am a christian male from Uganda.
thanks Pastor for your blogs.
i think they are awesome.
this is a pertinent issue you got here.
one that is usually talked about in our Men’s meetings.
Male from Northern California.
I grew up in a Christian school. I went from 1st grade through college. My HS years, I spent at a boarding Christian Boarding Academy! It was an awesome experience for me and grounded in me the faith I have that has lasted my entire life.
As I was looking up old friends for our 20 year reunion, I was shocked to see how many of the men that had gone to school with us listed themselves as Atheist or had strayed away from the church, not excluding my own brother.
Reasons I have found for this strange phenomenon. Many of the boys were treated in a more strict manor than the females. Their view of religion seemed to be all about fire and brimstone and not love and salvation! It seemed to scare them rather than reassure them.
Apparently, the women did not have the same experiences because as I spoke with many of them, they shared what I felt. They found the love and complete satisfaction of living a life of total faith in God.
Another apparent reason that men struggle; they cannot come to grips with the ideas of creationism and evolution. They struggle with what they believe to be truths or myths. I don’t know whether it has anything to do with men having more scientific minds than females do in most cases. It seems if they cannot rationalize that creationism could be scientifically correct.
Just some ides of my own from what I have learned by talking to old friends who have grown up in the same church as I. Maybe they will help towards any research you do!
I am female, and I live in Michigan.
Both my husband and I were raised in the Catholic faith, but through some bible studies in other churches, I found that the rituals were not enough for me to build my relationship with the Lord. I attend church, with my 3 children (ages 6, 3, and 2), but my husband does not. He feels uncomfortable with the personal aspect of the church my children and I are attending, and it is very different from the Catholic rituals that he is so very comfortable with.
I needed to feel “uncomfortable” to challenge my faith. I keep praying that he will accept the Lord as I have, and see that it does not matter whether you say the same prayers week after week, sing the same songs, and hear the same messages year after year. I know many Catholics who embrace their Christian faith, and am not bashing the faith as I know it. I simply believe that my own faith needed more – so I have changed my “category” from Catholic to Christian.
I pray that some day my husband and I can be partners in God again, not only for our marriage, but for our children.
female from PA
I am female from South Africa. It is so true – women are not only the backbone of a nation, but they are also the backbone of the church and sometimes it also happens that due to the absence of the fathers the mothers will struggle to get their young adolescent sons to stay in church and fathers do not even realise that they are the cause of the children not wanting to go to chuch.
Yes women cling to their faith and they are tormented to the bone to allow God`s will to be implemented.There is a very fine line between being a mother, housewife, career woman and a wife and sometimes we as women struggle to keep all these different balls in the air at the same time, and yet we still have to teach our children about what God want, teach them to read the bible, how to pray and why it is important to stay in chuch and to at least live a life that will please God. Fathers will then try to preach to them, but are you not suppose to practice what you preach? so, the question about where the fathers are, is relevant.
Hi Mark,
I am a female who has raised two girls on my own. In my experience, their father did not even want to be part of their lives, let alone being a godly example. I am sure it is all part of the last days where the love of many will grow cold. Thank the Lord for His help throughout the years!
God Bless!
31, female, Canada
I’ve noticed that you can tell how healthy a church is by the number of men that come. I know my current church is healthy, because people of all ages come- from teens, to mothers with babies, to the one gentlement in his late 60’s. We have a small church, so that is a little less surprising than it seems. But you can see in the demographics an old wound- a few years a go we got a Pastor, after having been without on for like 5 -10 years- not uncommon for such a remote place as where i live, but still extreme. When God brought in our Pastor, he cleaned up alot of things spiritually wrong in the church. Alot of the old folks who attended all those years that there was no pastor… only one still comes. The rest… drift without a church. (here there is only our church or the catholic church, and so the churchless either travel or drift, and even travelling, it’s hard not to drift).
Anyways, i ended up off topic, but i think it was a useful rabbit trail. What i came on here to say, was that finding the men isn’t hard. We know where they are- the question is why aren’t they in church. Why aren’t they taking the leadership roles God gave them? and to me, the reason is pretty clear. I’ve talked to a few, encouraged them to find a church, even if they only attend when they’re out of town. I’ve been told a number of reasons. MOst come down to them not feeling like they belong. Many feel awkward at events that are women focused. We have a few men in the church that are better cooks than their wives, and would likely win the church cookoff we always talk about. But there are so many social gatherings with churches either targetted at women, or that are hosted by women. Men have the skills too!
To me, the greatest way to increase the men in the church is to rally and support them, both spiritually and socially. Who does the average woman in a church turn to when she needs social interaction? Likely someone in the church. But do men in the church support each other that way? I know men reach out differently and for different reasons… but at least here, it takes careful planning to get the men to come out, and to bring the men together. When God brought our Pastor in, after God purged our church, there was only one man left. And, through prayer and ministry, there is a growing group of men. We can actually look at having more male elders now, as there are actually mature men of God in our church.
Och, there is so much more i could say. But my point is- men’s groups, men’s bible studies, and men only gatherings on weekends make a big difference. We keep looking at a full saturday of paintball, followed by a meal and a message, and now that the weather is warming up, it may just happen, God willing!
blessings!
Play time is Officially over…It’s time for ALL men to get Real with God.
Female – Louisville, Kentucky
I easily believe this. My husband is born again but he’s not happy at our church. He often feels the men are fake and not truly interested in talking to him but they do it out of obligation (while I understand his feelings, I do think some of this is his own insecurity). He’s not into sports but most of the guys at our church are and that’s what they all do and talk about. He likes to hike, hunt, camp, anything outdoors and this often leaves him feeling like an outsider. It really drives him crazy that so many Christian men are “fluffy”, meaning they aren’t a man’s man, they are very soft and a little feminine. We thought we’d found a new church last year, the pastor was a man’s man and my husband really related to him but his theology was really way off in left field and we didn’t feel comfortable staying. It’s very hard to decide what to do but I can tell you, my husband is very discouraged. I don’t know what the answer is but I am praying about it.
I am not into sports and fealt the same way standing around with the menat church throwing out statistics about teams and players, he is not the only one that’s been there.
Found a great deal of life changing teaching at – http://www.libertychurch.org/streaming/audio/topical_series.php .John Fichtner (senior pastor) has made such a difference to our relationship on the subject of gender – roles and responsibilities, strength and passion that it has forever changed us and those around us – we now have a thriving men’s group in our church.
Female..Chardon, Ohio
Definately a growing issue today! That’s why there are so many broken families, single parent households and fathers are becoming more absent by the day. They do not refer to their instruction manual! The Bible! They are walking a path with no light! Very disturbing!
I am a man who left the “church” about 4 years ago, I feel many, well some men leave the church while still maintaining their relationship with God and Jesus. I kind of fealt out of place in organized religion that seemed to be bogged down with the traditions of men/people and other things that as a man supposed to take a leadership role I was not comfortable with because I see them as wrong. Jesus came for the lost and also did not want to see all these large buildings made for god < yes the g is lower case on purpose, men are the protector the vanguard and when we are to become part of "church" to me that isn't organized religion it is the gathering of people to talk and learn of their journey and experiences in Christ and help one another not help build a bigger building. Women seem to be able to overlook what goes on but men seem to notice the structure the control and the direction they are being led in and while I love being led by what I read in my Bible and talking to people about my faith the same is not fealt by my experiences within organized religion. The last church I went to with my wife and child for about 5 years, I loved the people and got to know many of them well it seemed that there was many in the congregation with problems from finances, family problems, and other things that would cry, seek help, and look for answers however our leadership in the church was worried about buying property, building a larger building, and looking good to the public, when they did talk of helping those in need it was mostly by asking for money to send halfway around the world!!! When I needed to speak to someone no one could set an appointment at a time that did not conflict with my work. HELLO ever heard of sweeping of your own front porch before someone elses? Christ may be our foundation but what exactly are we building on top of that? We had poor in our church and land already for the new larger one when I suggested growing food for our needy and others in the area till it was time to build those in charge could not see how it would profit the church to do so. after I left the church attendance dropped to less than half in a matter of a year and a half and the new larger building never was built. You don't have to like what I've said or agree but if you want more men in the church you may want to think about it.
Very good
I don’t presume to know the reason for the disparity, but I do wonder if male ego is involved to some degree.
It is obvious to me that Being a Christian means admitting that you are not the hero of your own story. Women don’t seem to struggle with this idea too much: From their earliest days, young girls are captivated with the idea of a “knight in shining armor” coming to their rescue. You boys, on the contrary, are the heroic figures who come to save the day.
I would not guess as to what extent this sort of gender self-image plays in this, but I do not think it is unimportant.
What to do about it is, of course, an entirely different story. But Please, let’s not introduce pyro-technics and grade-school level machismo to our programs in hopes of capturing the male interest. I’ve seen that in some churches and it is not only an insult to the thinking, adult male, it is woefully ineffective.
Male from Philippines
My name is Brandy, I’am a female and I’am from Harmony, NC.
I am a mother from Belton, MO. I think that women are usually more involved in their children’s lives so it stands to reason they would be more involved in their spritual growth also. At my church however, I think things are pretty equal. My pastor is excellent at teaching everyone to be ministers and getting everyone involved in one way or another. Of course, he doesn’t do this alone. He says that a pastor that does it all will get burned out and quit so he has other pastors involved that get people involved and the process rolls on much like the ball that rolls down the hill. I personally am more involved in this church than I have ever been involved in any other church I have attended. I am blessed with an awesome church! Thank you so much for your blogs that keep me thinking and focused on my biggest goal which is to grow more each day in following Jesus.
Female from Maumee, Ohio
Thanks for sharing all your inspirational words with us! Greatly appreciated! God Bless You and Your Family Always!!!
I am male from Kentucky (USA). I have found men do have a positive influence on their family’s spiritual lives.
I’m a wife and mother of 3. My husband and I have actually taken turns ever the years as the spiritual leader. It seems that how we feel about our relationship with the Father determines how we communicate with our children. Somehow, we work together and when one needs some lifting up and reminders of God’s love in our home then the other takes over the spiritual leadership. However, for the most part we share equal responsibility for our children’s spiritual life. I love to hear more about this topic! Great Question!!!
Female from Crescent City, CA.
I love getting the Journey deeper, it makes my morning. I too am interested in your findings. There is a serious lack of men in the spiritual leadership role now days.
Being a Bride was always a problem to my late husband. He was a very manly man. Truck driver, hunter, fisherman. With an ego. But when he truly came to Christ he couldn,t do enough for Him. Many time I would enter our bedroom and he would be deep in prayer for my son who was in the Middle East in 1990. He loved our pastor and did many things in the church, but could never understand the bride thing. Men just need to know they don’t have to give up Who they are, they just need to BE who God created them to be.
Female, Dallas, TX
I agree with Anne. I belong to a church in St. Lucia (The Caribbean) where the male attendance is pretty healthy and it is a truly blessed congregation. I bless God for leading me there. It has truly changed my life!!!
Male from Newark, NJ
Pastor Mark,
As a male I can relate to this topic and to be honest with you I’m caught in the middle. I love going to church praising God and everything he stands for and what he has done for me. The church I go to now (when I go) is great and I attend service with my wife and my 3 yr old son. The few problems I have with the church is that I’m the only male there besides my pastor, and that the service last way to long…basically if we have church on Sunday….its all day Sunday….I cant plan to do anything else. Now I know I’m not suppose to put time on God but what I’m saying is God gave us time so we can manage it properly. So that discourages me from wanting to attend service.
What I want to add to this is that a lot of males aren’t brought up in the church so they stray and stay on the streets. So the streets become their family, the streets become they’re way of living because that’s all they know not unless we lead them or try and show them a new path in life which should be the only path in life and that is to seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give us everything we need. I wont sit here and lie to you as much as I know that I still find it hard but I’m trying to build my faith one day at a time and I know that God knows my heart he knows that I love him but yet I back slide sometimes and stay away and that I don’t always put him first when I should. But at least I know my sins and my wrongful doings….and I’m working on them by the Grace of God…I am. I just want to thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you and sorry for making it be so long. May God bless you and your family.
Before men left the home to work away from the family their roll as a leader was incredibly strong, seldom did the women lead because Dad was there. men are now strangers to the home and family no wonder they have left thier leadership roll, how can you lead something you are not familar with. Childen need to work with there fathers, they work with us moms everyday.
Female, Arizona, US
I’ve been wondering for three months what is wrong with our society that our men walk out on families so readily. What are we doing to raise our sons so badly that their commitments and obligations mean so little? Not that I haven’t heard of women doing the same, but it’s probably 6 to 1 that I’ve heard of men calling marriage quits with little or no justification. I wonder what the statistics are. This is just my count from stories I have personally heard in the past 3 months.
I love recieving your messages, keep it up!
God bless.
Gender: Male
From: California
I’M A FEMALE FROM HOGANSVILLE GEORGIA USA
the problem in the world is the lack of elevation of the position of men and especially husbands. Husband bashing has become a favorite pass-time of many women, yes even within the church. The whole womens lib thing has told men they are not leaders and “don’t you dare try”. Many women won’t LET their husbands lead and so the man doesn’t have a clue how to then either. The men have abdicated their leadership to women who do not want to be led..raising up a generation of men that don’t want to lead, and do not know how to lead. Satan’s attack on the family and the church..
My small circle of home church friends includes some strong men, including my husband (thank you Lord) that DO want to lead and do lead. Through care groups they are trying to bring up other men that are willing to be leaders as well, slowly getting them involved and not trying to throw them in to the “lions” and scare them off.
I am the spiritual leader in our family and have been since the time we were married over 30 years ago. I know that through us, our families will also be blessed, but at times it seems such a heavy burden. God called men to be the spiritual leaders of our families/churches but it’s not really happening. My own husband doesn’t really even talk about his salvation or his Christian walk with anyone. I know he’s saved but he hasn’t grown much in all these years. Says it’s between him and God. That they have an understanding. It’s funny and concerning at the same time because my sisters and their husbands had this same conversation at a bible study in another state and their husband’s said the same thing! I pray for my husband daily that he will be more open and bolder about his walk/life with Christ even with our children who are grown and have kids of their own now. They really are the ones that children, especially boys, look up to and listen to and want to be like, but if the wrong message or no message is given, then where does that leave the next generation? Our men need the spirit of boldness to come upon them!
Female from Strabane, PA.
It is true and truely unfortunate. My grandmother is the spiritual leader of my family. And I have noticed not just a lack of men in spiritual leadership roles but also a lack of young men in church in general. As a young woman, having been saved for 10 yrs this Wed., it is hard to find young men at the same spiritual level with which to begin a relationship. In fact, it’s just hard to find young born again men in general, regardless of spiritual maturity. And with all my friends and everyone around me getting married, this fact can be discouraging. I pray that a revival will ignite in the hearts of men of all ages around the world.
Female Lebanon, PA, USA
In history we would see the men going off to fight wars, while the women kept the home fires burning, doing what they needed to do to care for the kids and the home. Satan has found that he can lure the men away from the church. Guess that leaves us women to become even stronger prayer warriors as we do what we must to raise our children in the faith and take care of the church and our homes.
Reading some of the comments showed that there are similar issues everywhere. Sad to see the negative comments, but good to also see the positives. Also great to see where people are from.
Female, Arkansas, USA
Men still struggle with the same issues with which Adam struggled. Genesis chapter 3 reveals that while Eve was being tempted and disobeyed God, Adam was “with her” and did nothing to take the spiritual lead. Look back in Genesis chapter 2 and notice that Adam was made, then the garden & he was put in it, and he was told to cultivate the garden. It is also to Adam that the command was given about not eating of the tree in the center of the garden. Eve was made after all that. Adam failed as spiritual leader & this same sin besets men today. Recommended reading: Wild at Heart by John Bevere
Love your Journey notes Rev. Mark – Thanks. Anita
Well to start off, have you noticed just in general society how the gender roles are switching. I see more career headed women taking control and being more independent of there own life. I do give props to their success, but we do see more men as a sense of just sitting back and being comfortable letting women take the lead.
Female, Plano, Tx
Thank you for the wonderful post, I think someone needs to finally realize the order that God planned it to be is serverely lacking, where the husband is to lead and be the spiritual backbone of the family of whom the blessings will flow, we as woman need to pray that God will correct this void an put things out of order in order, so he can be glorified, praise God for your frankness, it is refreshing
Male from New Hampshire
I am a woman and I am from Alabama in the USA. You’re post is very true, you see alot more wives praying for unsaved husbands than husbands praying for unsaved wives. On our way to church on Sunday mornings we pass by some boat docks and it is always full of vehicles (I’m sure 99% men) and guess where most of the wives probably are. Thank you for your post, we need to be seriously praying for our men.
Male, 46, living in California,USA
before I got sobber (7 months now) my wife was the main spiritual leader in the house now we share this role. It was by the grace of God that I am where I am today.
East Texas: I have noticed this also, and what I have to say Mark isn’t said enough so I will. This is said to enlighten many and not to point fingers in this full intentions here. I HEAR MOST OF THE TIME, from many men not all men, saying this; “I would be the leader of the family more so except when I try more a battle between my spouse or wife and I starts. So, I lead when I can and other times let her to keep more peace in the family. I know this isn’t the best, but, peace in the family means a lot to me.”
I have heard other men say the about same and they added; “I do this to avoid conflict or confratation.” I know this sounds like excuses to many, but since it is said alot.
I wonder when more preachers are going to address this issue on how husband and wife can communicate better and let the man be the leader more when he tries-even if he does not do well at first attempts. Thanks Mark for this. This is something you should address for some time like rest of this year..?
For men working and struggling with life, religion is pretty hard. i had massive issues getting a local church around my house when i started work and the church i eventually found, my spirit did not blend with it. i was stuck! i did not go to chruch for about 3 months them at the beginning of this year i made up my mind to go to church. I now go to church on Tuesdays for midweek service. i walk into church from work on Tuesdays and keep my covenant with the most high. On sundays, i stay at home and prepare for the new and unknown week – which, no matter how bad, will be better than the former.
female from Nordheim, Texas
I am a female from Richmond, Va.
I’m a man,living in Wyoming, Michigan (Just South of Grand Rapids). I am married, with an 18-year-old stepson, and two biological sons,2 and 3 years old. I take my role as spiritual leader of my family very seriously, but definitely need improvement! You and others help me with that Brother Mark. Thank you!
I was JUST saying this over Easter break at my husbands family’s house! They got offended, but its so true! Women have had to step up because men have fallen back and I dont think its how it was supposed to be. Men are seen as the Alpha no matter how much women fight to be treated equally. Its how God set it up and men need to teach their children how to pray and how to tap into God. I pray that things will turn around! Being a tough macho male all the time will do nothing in the times when your child needs to know about God or how to pray. You cant care more about how you look when you tell someone about God if your afraid they will think your weak! I would rather be weak for God! Men have to learn to let the stereotype fall away so that God can be exalted at all times, and women need to accept that this is the way it is and step down.
I’m a female in Satellite Beach FL
Just to reassure you, I know plenty of men who pray daily and often (my husband being one of them!)
Concerning marriage and parenting, I recommend an incredible book entitled “Parenting By The Book, Bibilical Wisdom for Raising Your Child” by John Rosemond. Our son is grown and I believe I would have been an even better mother if this book had been available when we were raising our son. (Note: We did raise him the best we knew in God’s Word and he turned out terrific in all godly ways!)
I believe there are 2 major mistakes made by today’s parents (in general): (1) People forget that it is the marriage that comes first, not the kids. If the marriage is solid and strong, built on God’s Word, then the kids will be fine (2) I believe it is a shame that so many mothers work outside the home. If there is a way for a mom to stay home with her kids all the way through high school, I believe it is best. My husband and I made many sacrifices so this could be done. When things got really hard at times I did work at temporary jobs but I believe one of the reasons we had such success with our son is because I was home 85% to 90% of the time.
God bless you and everyone who reads this. Our God is GREAT!
As a single man in his late 30’s, I can say that, though I attend church services regularly, I don’t feel welcome or wanted, or sometimes even noticed at church. I think we have a cultural fear of people of my demographic. Why is he single??? Is something wrong with him??? There’s a lack of trust, it seems to me, in regard to a man alone in church.
And it isn’t just me. I have an uncle who stopped going to church for the same reason in his 30’s. Once you reach a certain age, as a single man, people don’t look at you in the same light. I can’t tell you how many times, that I’ve been avoided, ignored, looked away from. I go to church most every week, and seldom walk away with the morning bulletin, because even greeters tend to find something else to do, or someone else to greet, when I walk by. I’m not an attractive man, but I’m very clean, very friendly. How often do you think I’m addressed, other than when the preacher says to “turn around and welcome those around you”? Almost never. How often do you think those around me are greeted, and I am not? Frequently.
I do agree to part of your original premise, that men need to be the spiritual head of their family. I do think this often is not done. But part of why there aren’t more single men in church, is because the church doesn’t really want us there. I guess, more acurately, the church wants us there, but the people who make up the church….don’t. We make them uncomfortable, suspicious. Churches are typically VERY married places, family places. If a young couple with a kid or two comes in to visit a church, they are sought after, desired, wanted, pursued. A single man is not. I grew up in the church, always fit in at church, always had a home at church. No longer. I still go and worship corporately anyway, because I need to, and want to. But that wasn’t an easy decision to make. Others don’t. And part of me understands why.
Blessings from Mexico City Priest, I happen to be very moved by your blog, and yes I also think that there are few men all over churches, but maybe it´s because some of them have two jobs, and leave less time to their relationships with God, wife, family and friends, and I´m not telling that it´s a normal thing to happen, but maybe a lot of them haven´t feel really touched by the Word of God, then I propose a praying chain all over this blog reader´s, and all those who are in facebook so we can claim those men, so they receive wisdom, prosperity (so they only have one job) love, grace, power, will, braveness, and courage of our God, and feel the very touch of His hand in their hearts….. What do you think?
Male: Everett, WA
Single Female Basehor KS
I belong to a church here that has healthy male attendance(married) but only a few single men. There are quite a few single women.
My son I am glad to say is actively involved with his entire family at a church in Ft Myers Fl…
I agree that more women are the spiritual leaders of their families…we must find a way to reach out to the men in our communitys…and a way to bring families back together(or to keep them together)…in my opinion this can only be done by keeping God first…we must Pray, Pray, Pray that God moves into the hearts of all…
I am the Director of Children’s Ministries at a church in Louisiana, and I can speak from experience that this is very true. 70% of my ministry team are women. Aside from that, 90% of the time, the moms will step up as event chaperons/assistants. We try to have dedicated events to reach the families of children who do not attend church anywhere (who usually just drop-off their children and leave). Some of the events are for the family itself. Others are dedicated to involve moms specifically…others are dedicated to involve dads specifically. The events involving moms are always extremely successful. However, we have yet been able to pull off an event involving the dads because they seem to have no interest in getting involved. Likewise, the events designed to reach the entire family usually consist of the moms and the children…rarely do we get the dad’s to attend. The church has even tried to have a men’s ministry, but it has since disbanded due to lack of interest.
I have been walking with Christ for 20 years and I have seen a huge shift in churches especially the past few years. Most everyone wants power, they want the biggest churches or the biggest ministries. I also believe the lack of discernment in the body leaves huge gaps for the enemy to walk right through. We want to be politically correct instead of standing for God’s truth. We want to have our ears tickled. men are leaving because of the hypocrisy. WE NEED CHRIST!!
Forgot to mention I am a mother of six and from Conroe, Tx.
Female; Hobbs, New Mexico
Just look @ the difference in size of the women’s and men’s groups in the church. Men are slacking! Thank you for bringing this out & for your page.
I’m a female living in Ontario, Canada. I am married and have three sons. I feel like I am the spiritual head of my home, not because I want to be but because my husband became a Christian only 6 months ago. I have been a Christian since November 2003. My oldest son accepted Christ when he was 9 years old (now 14) while we were doing our evening devotions. My middle son accepted Christ when he was 7 years old (now 10). My youngest son is only 3.
I agree with Betsy about mothers needing to stay home and raise their children, if possible. About 7 months after I became a Christian, I quit my full-time job to stay home with my kids. It was the best decision for our family, and God has always provided for us financially.
Female, Pennsylvania, USA
A father is to lead his family. My husband did not attend church and as a result (I feel), my oldest son (19) is not involved in church at all. He actually said to me, “Dad doesn’t have to go”. Most little boys worship their daddies and would follow right in their footsteps, right to church! I now see why we are not be unevenly yoked. That part of my life would have much easier had I married another Christian. My daughter (17), being a girl and always close to me attends with me, helps out and is active in our church, my youngest (8) is also actively involved (he didn’t have a choice to stay home with daddy since he was out of the picture).
im a mother of 2 a 9 and almost 5 year old my husband i and the kids live in elizabeth nj
Female from Fairfield, OH
John, I completely agree with your perspective I am an Indian from and orthodox christian background and completely understand your problem. But believe me, that shd not deter a believing christian from taking part in the holy sacrament… recieving the holy spirit and renewing the faith, you can steer clear of the gossip session afterwards… We don’t have an orthodox church here so I go to a baptist church and it is easy to forget that if you live wrongly you will not be in grace well it is a cycle those who have found grace will show in the way they are…. good trees bear good fruit u c!
I think it is imperative that men take the Spiritual lead in their househlods but the fact is, that some men dont feel comfortable with that position and at that time the wife needs to do so. I know that I am currently the spiritual head however through prayer and example, I believe that my husband will fill that role soon.
Ok this is just a thought that hit me today. I am not a big fan of the womans lib movement. I think it hurt us more than it helped us. I look around & all I see are women wanting the control. Running their men. I truly believe if women start being submissive ( I dont mean a doormat) & studying & being the Proverbs 31 woman, we will see men change. Now so many of us are unequally yoked. We are a generation that looks for love but does not understand love. We marry quickly, we think were in love, love is a choice not a mushy feeling. We talk about soul mates instead of seeking God for who he has for us. The proverbs 31 woman was not a cave woman stuck at home. She worked, her own business. But her biggest obligation was providing for her family spiritually in prayer. She rose while it was dark. Her family were .clothed in scarlet, she kept them covered in the blood. Hands are mentioned several times in Pro 31. Yad & kaph hands. One type is warring hands & one is beseeching hands.
Female from central Pennsylvania, United States of America. Mother of 3 and grandmother of 3. I attend Calvary Baptist Church in Altoona, Pennsylvania.
I am a single mom living in Hilton Head, SC. I am also part of the Youth Ministry at my church as well as a Youth Bible Study Teacher.
This same message was given to us last night from a visiting Pastor originally from South Africa. He asked all of the men, fathers, grandfathers and fathers to be to stand up. He told them it was their responsibility as the head of the household to tell his family “follow me as I follow Jesus.” He said that they needed to lead a daily devotion and worship to God.
So, as you all know, God never tells 2 people something different about the same thing. So, maybe this is confirmation for you…but then again, you already know.
Thank you for sharing this with us!!
I am from Southwest Missouri. Female age 73 Most of my life I have noticed that women outnumber men in church, As I grew up on a busy farm it was my Mother who was my spiritual mentor. My Dad worked from daylight to dark and we always had Bible reading and prayer together before we went to bed. Both parents took active part in our community church and I feel very blessed to have grown up in a Christian home. I`m anxious to hear where the greatest imbalance of fans is located. May God bless you as you go forth in His service.
I am female, from Indiana, United States. This is an issue at our church. The ladies of our church have discussed at length how we wish there were more men to step up and take on the leadership roles in regard to passing along Biblical direction to the next generation of young men in our congregation. They need mentors, examples to follow and men to spend time with them just showing them how to be real men who follow Jesus. I know that everyone is stretched for time, but the spiritual well being of the next generation, not just of these boys, but of their future wives, children and peer goups are in jeopardy. We are in danger of creating our own extinction.
My gender is male,I live in Minneapolis,MN
Sorry ran out of space. We women are to be virtuous. The word virtuous in Pro 31 is Chayil. That same word was used to describe men of war. The valiant men. So when we truly start beseeching God for our families. Warring for them. And being submissive & gentle, winning our husbands without a word by our behavior we will see men taking their place as head of the household.
I’m a single female from Ohio,& I have very much noticed the same thing.Where have all the godly men gone?
It is because MORE MEN prefers to be at service with God, involved in the church and in spiritual leadership in their household rather that doing FACEBOOKING, maybe they found out that it is much best for them to be in the church in front of the altar, rather that staying in front of their computers. I am not saying that Facebook will not do good for men like us, but i think there still lots of men here on earth wants to be more PRIVATE in their personal stuff, not as “SHOWY” as the women had with their life. In the Philippines and as well in Kuwait, which is a muslim country, more men are so involved in the church and in the church community services, compares to women there. I just hope you get my point here. Let us pray that more men be more willing to be at service with our God and double our effort to influence more men to involved in the church and in their spiritual leadership in their household. God bless everyone!
female, Tennessee
I just found your blog today for the first time. I am a woman, living in northern IL, 58, married 38 years to a godly, spiritual leader…and I’m very thankful.
More and more I’m coming to believe that we women play a major role in men’s taking on and not taking on their role of spiritual leadership, both in the home and the church. Feminism has infiltrated the church! If you are under 40 it’s unlikely that you even know of a time before feminism.
In the last two years I’ve been studying the history of feminism and it’s very interesting. One of the purposes and intentions was to impress on women the need for self-actualization, a need for nothing other than ourself and our womanhood. No man is needed for happiness, companionship, leadership, or for anything.
These are excellent sites for further information:
http://www.truewoman.com/
http://www.girlsgonewise.com/
http://www.carolynmcculley.com/home.html
Female: Garden Grove, CA, USA
I think it’s funny that you posted about this, because I posted a similar post on my blog recently. I’m a 32 year old single female, never married. I think I’m a pretty good catch, but the problem isn’t getting a man, keeping a man, or attracting a man..it’s FINDING a man! I mean, I attract plenty of men, just all the wrong ones. I ask your question often, where are all of the good Godly men? If you find them, let me know! 🙂
well, i’m here Kelly! one of the Godly men you are looking for, and maybe there still a lot out there! =)
Hello,
I will be turning 40 in a couple of days and just very recently married my beautiful wife Karen. I am currently in the Army and am deployed to Iraq for a year. We have three teenage boys from her previous marriage. Before we got married, we both discussed and talked for about 18 months just about every issue that we could think of before I even thought of asking her marry. The most important subject we talked and emphasized on, was to make sure we allowed God to guide our marriage and family on the path that he wanted us to follow. As we have begun our new family, I have tried to ensure and instill into our boys how important it is to follow God’s path. Though our boys are not mine biologically, I have been blessed with the responsibility of their lives and I want to ensure that I follow what God has planned for them and show them by example, how to live as a Godly man. I love the relationship I have with my God and will continue asking Him to make me a vessel of His works. I love having the opportunity to share with my fellow soldiers my previous experience in life and how I live today. I encourage soldiers to seek God and allow their lives to rely on Him, instead of trying to control their own life. I encourage all men to ask God to give them the guidance to take lead in their lives and in the church and act upon the roleGod has set for them. I look forward to receiving the email daily of the scripture that is posted. I try to apply what I learn that day in my life daily. Thank you! Army Strong!
Female, Jackson County MS.
I agree that there are more women than men who are in church stepping up to the daily duties needed in the church. If the men of this world stepped up in the church there would be less women taking over the most important duty of the church, pastor/preaching.
The Bible gives specfic details of what a pastor/preacher should be. Now tell me how can a “female” be the “husband of one wife”? The woman should also not be teaching any class for males above age 10, or so I think because at these important ages our males are needing the Godly male guidence of how to act, treat their wives, and how a male should be in the family and what roles he should play. This is not happening therefore our young men do not know the Godly way to act(most of the time) and we loose them to the ways of this cruel and sinful world.
We have men (and some women) who go the way of the world and this breaks down the families and children go astray. This is exactly what the devil wants for us.
We need to ALL, both men and women, get back to the Biblical ways to act and raise our children who God blessed us with.
There is too much sin in this world and the way is rough, but with prayer and the amour of God we can defeat the devil all we have to do is ask God for his help and stay focused on God and He will help us thru these trails and tribulations.
I am so greatful to God for His mercy and grace in my own life. None of us are perfect but with God’s abundant grace we will be when we reach Heaven’s Gate.
Will you be one of those that God says, “Depart from Me for I never knew you!” or “My Child welcome Home!”
I know even though in my life I have done wrong at times, God will say to me…”My Child welcome Home!” and I am so grateful to My Lord for Him dying on that cross so that I might be saved!
Female. Jamaica W.I.
Female from Idaho.
I don’t know why men are not more involved in the movement of God’s Word,maybe as many they feel they are sufficient to themselves.God knows the answer,those who believe just need to remain faithful to speak Gods Word.
Female, Southern Illinois, USA
It’s all about choices and excuses.
I agree, it needs to be the Men in this country to support true national repentance and revival. EVERY church’s TOP priority should be Men’s Ministry!!..
Women…you too…you guys need to figure out ways to get your men off their ass*s. It’s a National pandemic.
First and foremost PRAY PRAY PRAY for them, it won’t work without that. For single women…want a good man? find one that’s got stronger faith than you…do not marry anyone unchristian or not in Love with Jesus, this is were it all starts…don’t be yoked with unbelievers!
God showed me many years ago because of the natural father I had it was difficult for me to understand the love of the father. The role the natural father plays in the life of his children must be that of a spirit filled life, to impart to the children the love of a father so understanding Father God comes natural to us
God spent a lot of time healing and removing hurt’s from my heart that my natural fater had imparted to me and restoring me so I could comprehend the true love of the Father.
I think satan destroy’s the natural farther to hender our understanding of Father God. the sad thing is men allow it to happen walking in the flesh.
Hi Mark,
I’m a Female located in CO.
pls. I’m from Hudson Valley New York. I’d say it will be the metro areas on the east and west coast that will be the worst probably. My area –60N orNYC, is certainly female dominated. I’m a member of United Methodist
I am a 20 year old male and I want to Praise God for such a good reminder…because truly men need to step into the authority that God so genuinely gives us. We need to rise up for the Gospel and proclaim His good news. I work with the teenage group in our church and it’s a sad scene to see fathers neglect their roles as spiritual mentors for their own kids. The young teenagers will admit the lack of time their fathers will spend with them simply talking and being in their life. Fathers tend to justify themselves by calming to be the providers of the family but yet it is not the essential fact that will last. As Randy Alcorn said “Only one life twill soon be past; only what’s done for Christ will last.” And what’s done in our families, in the life our kids, and in our walk with the Lord will have its affect for eternity. Thank you Mark.
Female: Las Vegas, Nevada
Maybe if there weren’t so many great sporting events on Sunday more guys would come to church. Many fellas that I invite to church pause when I tell them what time service starts. Then I wink and ask them if the have a VCR.
Plus for many sin is so fun they just don’t want to give it up.
Also for you Pastor’s out there on mother’s day you sing sweet praises about mom’s but on Father’s day you talk about the “Bad Dads” It makes me sad because mostly the good dads are there soaking up that message.
Some guys work hard all week long and want to sleep in. There are most likely as many excuses as there are men.
Male – Bladenboro,NC
Luke 19:39-40 (KJV)
39) “And some of the Pharisees from among the multitude said unto him, Master, rebuke thy disciples.”
40) “And he answered and said unto them, I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.”
This verse tells me, that because men have been stepping down as leaders/spiritual leaders in the home as well as the church, that Gods Word will continue. So the women have stepped up to carry on. But to be in one accord with God’s model of marriage and His church, we have to get the family back together.
(M) Washington, DC
i wondered where are the men that need to rise up an stand firm for GOD
Male from Greenville, Mississippi,USA. Enjoy your posts. Convicts me of the places in my life where I come up short. As for the men thing , if satan can take out the head of the house then where does the house go and all the family.After all he tried to take out Jesus.Looks like the rib GOD took from man in the garden is fairing much better than the man.
Female from Los Angeles, CA. I love this blog, thank you so much for doing it!
Hi I am 38 and have been been active in my church until recently and live in Central New York near Syracuse. With that being said, there was a fairly equal distribution between males and females in the church until the last few years. Our women’s group bore more responsibility with the community outreach than the men’s group. I was VP for 4 years and President for 2 years. And no most of the women were working women so that is not why when you might say that they have more time and are retired. I just think that we women see the rewards of helping others and how it benefits everyone including our families, not just the community. The men’s group just were not that active and I am not sure if its that they didn’t have strong male leadership or fellowship…
These concerns were discussed as our population was declining (dying out) in a very rural area with no new families joining. My family was the youngest in the church. It is a very interesting debate and I think it goes to the heart of what is wrong with how America is failing socially–with how people have a sense of gimme, gimme and how they are willing to take whatever is given. Families often go, go and go some more and never give themselves down time except on Sundays mornings when a lot of activites are not scheduled so that people can attend church…hmmm…. Also the newer generations don’t know seem to know or care to live the commandments and give for giving without expecting anything in return.
Just some thoughts…
male from south africa. See Rev. here’s the problem. men are being robed of their manhood (we want them to be wimpy and behave like women) and then complain that they don’t go to church!
A good man is hard to find. Especially at church.
I am female from the Philippines.
I notice this trend, too, Bro. Mark. It’s sad. I’ll pray for more men to get more involved in the Church.
Female from Omak Washington
I am a Male from Canada, I work and don’t have time to write on facebook (like most Female?)
I am a Female, from Mobile, AL. Thankyou for sharing the Word of God and Your thoughts with Us! I look forward to reading it everyday. I am a single Mom of 3 Sons. One 34 and Twins that are 24. I raised them in the way of the Lord. Church, Bible study and lots of Prayer. I have to say that I am very proud of how they turned out. They have much Love, Respect and Honesty for others and themselves. I agree with You about the Man being head-of-household. But he should love his Family as God loves him. And care for them as He should. God is first in My life, Family second, then others. Of course myself too. Have a Blessed Day!
I’m male, 24, Perth, Australia (and Fort Worth/Denton, USA)
a female from Philippines…as i remember right,the ratio is 1 male & 3 female born evry second..so dominant species are the female,scientifically proven. proudly declaring GOD blessed me a husband,defined & designed by GOD.cant ask for more,he s my soulmate.we both raise r children,5 beautiful girls.we all go to church regularly.he s a very much GOD fearing one.no vice..but i still continue praying for him.,that LORD almighty dont change anything from him,from the tip of his head to toes.protection 2,also what we feel to each other,always asking GOD for HIS agape love filled our heart.i always praise GOD for giving me a husband like him,my best half.
I am male, from Virginia(USA). My pastor had a sermon a couple of weeks ago on this very same subject. Keep up the good work. I have benefited from your blog.
If we discuss who is dominant in the church then Jesus is definitely missing!
And if females are the dominant species in the church then it´s not the church that Jesus is head of!
If Jesus is missing in His rightful place, then it becomes boring and I (male) would not waste my time there.
35yr old Female from SC…… I have been brought up in the Apostolic church all my life and YES there are more women in church and working for the Lord!! Some churches don’t agree with women preachers!!!! WHY??? THEY SHOULD…God has no respect or persons!!!
The MEN today,are not stepping up to the plate to where God wants them to be spiritually. There are so many incarecerated,drug addicted,sex offenders,homosexual men now today.As parents or single parents if you raise your children according to the bible and not try to be their friend, you did your part!! As children get older they make their own decisions and sometimes forget what they were taught. We should never cease from praying for ourselves, children, church,spouses and the world in general. Satan is on the loose seeking whom he may devour, he comes to kill, steal and destroy everything God has in store for your life! We need to pray for these men not judge them. There are a lot of men that could be lonely,depressed,unhappy,weak,hurt,don’t know God, dont’ know how to Pray!! NEVER GIVE UP!!
Senior male here. My home church would be nothing if it were not for the women. They put us men, with the exception of our pastor and two or three others, to shame. It has not always been that way. I have seen a considerable decline in men ministries in the 15yrs that I have attended. We have a new pastor now since late Nov 09 and he has already went to work on prayer emphasis and outreach programs. Please pray for us! Thank you for your blog!
female from connecticut I think that women have taken over the job of the men at home as well as in the church i just think that men don’t care anymore
Woman in Maine.
Wow, after reading many of these comments an interesting thought came to my mind. Does less men in the church mean less men in the Body of Christ making up the bride? I mean, I would say that in my church there are absolutely more women and that is not good. But how many of us women are really sold out for Jesus? How many of us are “playing church”? How many of us just want to look good and don’t mind sitting through a message and have fun chatting like crazy about everything while calling that fellowship? How many of us push men away from a love relationship with Jesus by making Him look shallow and telling them they aren’t “spiritual enough” because they fall asleep when sitting still or lose interest in idle chatter? And what about Praise? I used to feel bad for my brother because he did not enjoy singing, little did I know that how we praise God by our actions in our daily lives is way more important and he was doing that. Oh, the things we can learn that will bring us unity in the Body. We all have much to learn and are learning, let’s focus on how we can encourage one another and grow together walking in humility. Thank you Mark for your posts, they do encourage me daily. I hope these words encourage someone as well.
In His love and grace,
Bethany
I am a male youth pastor in Washington state. Our church specifically targets men who want to be leaders in our communities and homes. Men who want to be good husbands and fathers. Many of the sermons have that “flavor” as the emphasis.
As the youth pastor, about 50% of my youth leaders are male including all of my lead Sunday school teachers, but most of the female leaders are the wives of the male leaders. I feel like this demonstrates a balanced (& correct) view of how guys need to be the leaders in the home and community AND church!
By the way,in our children’s ministry…all of the Sunday school teachers are females.
We have lots of men in our church.But only a hand full that will particapate in any programs. We have to call the same men over and over..That seems to be our problem..They are usually the older men in our congregation that think they deserve to sit back and watch..Hopefully the younger men will stay active…
I am a female from Dallas, Texas.
Male, Germany.
When Christ is allowed to be King and the Holy Spirit moves He touches men, women, white, black, yellow, young and old independently and especially those groups which are usually neglected by the religious.
Don´t know about your church but many that I have seen preach a biased gospel and a “castrated” Jesus – neglecting power, justice, judgement, deliverance, honesty and faithfulness to the Lord.
They please men – sorry women, focussing on their needs – and making it boring for the men.
It´s thrilling to experience the real Jesus in action! Men would love it … if the church would motivate them … testimonies and encuragement in the Spirit of Truth.
Women tend to adjust to situations. Men try to change things for the better … or they go, especially if not welcome or respected the way they are created!
I am a Godly Man and as a Pastor, I have been seeing this same trend for years and years. This makes it hard for many of the Godly women to find Godly husbands in the church so many of them step outside of the church and Christ to find a soulmate in which they often find out quickly that he wasn’t their soulmate. I believe that men need to step up and get back into place at the church, but in order for that to happen, men are first going to have to get back in place at the homes! If you notice, this society is about getting rid of the family unit… for example, if you look at most of the commericals on television today you will see a mother and children without the father being anywhere in site, unfortunately our family units are becoming more like what Hollywood would have us to believe they are and that is a Mother and Children without the Father. Somehow this has become the “Norm” in our society and it has also become the “Norm” in our homes and churches. Let’s continue to pray that the Lord will use us to rectify this issue.
male from misissippi. i think a part of the problem is that men see the church as calm and tame. that is our fault. we need to show men that being a Christian is an exciting and adventureous way to live. our God is not weak and neither are we.
Female… SD, USA.
I am a female from Washington State, USA. I’ve been following your daily Bible reading plan since the beginning of the year and have been very blessed. Thank you for presenting a plan that is easy to follow. Good luck and God’s blessings in your new location and new endeavors.
South Africa – Here I here many woman complaining about abscent husbands but I thank the Lord that this trend is changing because of the Mighty Men Conferences that takes place here 🙂
Mark, I Look forward to reading you message daily. I am a male from Arkansas. I can reflect on this message, because a great pastor friend of mine told me that it was my responsibilty to have my son in the word of God and that I would be accountable for instilling in him the structure God wants us to live by. Since that time the Lord has blessed me beyond my wildest expectations. I love my Jesus and oh how so loving He is to us all. God bless and I look forward to your postings.
Male – Hamilton, Oh age 35
I am a female from Alaska… at my church there is a fairly even mixture of men and women involved in ministry but at my home I am the spiritual leader. My husband originally led me to Christ but has slipped away. I am praying for him to step back into the position that God wants him to be in
Female, from Orange County/Santa Barbara, CA
I feel incredibly blessed that my church is balanced with many great & strong Christian men who serve our church faithfully. My pastor preaches Christ, law & gospel, faithfully. If pastors would stop trying to teach the bible as a great book of morality & only as a way we can live our lives morally, instead of what it is – the story of redemption, showing Christ by type and shadow throughout the old testament & Christ as the fullfillment of the old testament, we would have stronger churches, families, and more men throughout the church being more active. It’s not about us – it’s about Christ, and His perfect, completed work.
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience — among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ — by grace you have been saved — and rasied us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:1-10
1 Sola scriptura (“by Scripture alone”)
2 Sola fide (“by faith alone”)
3 Sola gratia (“by grace alone”)
4 Solus Christus or Solo Christo (“Christ alone” or “through Christ alone”)
5 Soli Deo gloria (“glory to God alone”)
I am a male from Canada 🙂
Male in Lilburn, GA…USA
I am a female from Baton Rouge, LA
I’m an Anglican n yes, it is true that the women far outnumber the men in church. The men are more concerned about making money n believe it’s women who have the time to be in church all the time.
Female from Stigler, OK, USA
Funny, my mom and I were discussing this problem not long ago. It’s a major problem here in the US too. Way too few men functioning in the churches. My mom leads a ladies prayer/bible study group in her church and they have been praying for more of the men in their church to rise up. Satan knows just how important men are to lead the church, he’s attacked the men in various ways to put them down and keep them there. We’ve got to pray for more men filled with the spirit to take leadership roles in homes and churches… Fathers must train their sons in the home to lead their future homes and churches. Unfortunately, we as parents have made the mistake of leaving the spiritual training of our children to the churches (maybe two or three hours worth a week) and not doing this ourselves. That has been a major mistake in the past couple of generations. The church has taken a major hit because of this. Ladies, support your men!!! Encourage them and pray for them!!! I cannot say this enough! The feminist movement has put down men so much but we were created by God to be helpers to the men and they need our support and encouragement and prayers. God bless you all, men!!! We need you!
It’s not laid out that way, but when you watch our media and how it portays a women and a man it is amazing. Men have relinquished their responsibilities of leading. Sad truth men have a hard time going deeper than the surface when it comes to relationships or conversations. by the way what’s the weather suppose to be like tommorrow?
Male/Orlando, FL
As a pastor, I’ve been faced with this reality for a while. In his book, “Why Men Hate Going to Church”, David Murrow suggests, among other things, that we’ve made church so doggone feminine that men don’t feel comfortable there. There’s no space for what he calls the God-created “masculine spirit”.
Sorry I am adding to your female readership. i am from British Columbia Canada. I agree with you men need to take more responsibility in the aspect of worship in the home and the church. I often did our family devotions with the girls when they were home.Many of the church children leaders are women. Men step up and do your god appointed work please. We need you.
By the way, everyone, read “Family Driven Faith” by Voddie Baucham. It addresses many of these issues! Very good book. I’d recommend it for every family that wants to live by God’s design for families. The book is on Amazon I’m sure.
Cincinnati, 29…AMEN!!! God is amazing!!! I have been praying and asking God to lead me and to show me how I can serve him. I am a stay at home mother, and I have 3 small children 2, 3, and 5. He is constantly reminding me that I am serving him, by being a stay at home mother and teaching my children what matters the most in this world! They know what the cross means and they know who our loving Father is!! It is so important to teach our children the truth, before they go out into this world. All Glory to you GOD!! Keeping the men in prayer!!
male.native american. Ronan,MT.USA. 46 yrs.old .Recently saved. 10 years or so, off and on. I believe GOD is truth. the enemy is real. the enemy goes after the head of the home and destroys,deceives,and kills. many men are deceived and do not believe. many men are dead spiritually and physically. the rest of us are intimidated with the fear of man. we do not want to be thought of as weak. and that very fear and reasoning is making us even weaker than we need to be because then we turn our backs on our LORD and face the enemy on our own strength. foolish! we men need to repent of this sin to our LORD JESUS and submit to HIM instead of the enemy. cause when we are not with the LORD we are with Satan. we just need to realize HE is RISEN. GOD ALMIGHTY IS REAL! ….anyway that is just my take on this. as i am trying to walk this out my own self. i definitely am not a good representation of a GODLY man but look into my heart a little deeper and you will see a man rising out of darkness walking into the light, being led by JESUS HIMSELF cause on my own it is impossible. put shay.
Wow, I never really realized it, but at least on this board you are totally correct, there aren’t a lot of men posting. It really does make you wonder, where are all the men? Anyway, I am female and from Colorado 🙂
I am a male from Lexington Kentucky and agree that we need more MEN to be involved in the ministry of sharing CHRIST.
I am in the U.S. – Somerset, Mass. and I agree – men need to step-up! Our church, (Harvest Family Church-Barbara Thorne Ministrys) is Small in members-still growing and most of us are women. We have 8 men at the moment and 25 0r 30 women. The only mimistry the men sre part of is ushering. That is not to say that ushering is not an important ministery -it is very important. These men are very much part of their childrens spiritual up-bringing, this I can attest to! Still, more men need to step-up!
female…..Washington state USA
Marc, I love both your pages coming up on my FB feed, it puts the Bible into my day when I don’t expect it, and I love that, It keeps God in front of me throughout the day. Thank You!! =D
Male from London. I also notice the vast majority of Christian bloggers are women so maybe it’s just an Internet thing.
Male from Nicholasville, KY (USA)
Robin King I am a 46 yr old female I live in Shawnee Oklahoma I love your facebook pages and look forward to journey deeper each day thanks so much for working so hard it’s such a blessing!
I am a Cameroonian studying and living in Germany.
I am a female from Poland 🙂
Hello, Pastor Mark, I am female and live in South Dakota, USA. One factor in the demographics of your subscribers might relate to an imbalance of women using sites such as yours in the social networking media as a whole. I think that while men may participate “second-hand” as such, more women are interested in receiving devotional type material, etc.
I really appreciate your blog!
Susan
Female who lives in McDonough, GA.
Male Seattle. WA. USA
Funny thing about 2 months ago I felt God speaking to me about this very issue. Where are all the men. I noticed one Sunday morning during worship that the majority of our congregation was and is female. I then recently read an article in the Seattle times that spoke of the lack of men in the church and how some Evangelical churches have started doing the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) and how it has increased the males in the church, I’m not advocating the UFC here, I did some more looking into this very issue and found out that most men find church to passive. Shortly thereafter I Started a Men’s group and we decided to read a book called Wild at Heart by author John Edgerly. It has been a great way for me to explore how God truly created us to be, who God is. I would highly recommend this to the men in any church.
Hi there..I am a female living now in CT but from Williamsburg,VA….Thank you for that encouragement and transparency..I too believe that women outnumber men in the church, but that can all change!!…Men need to take more of an ACTIVE role in their homes, NOW!!!…I am a praying nana and mama and standing on the Word for my husband, children and grandchildren, which is why we are now in CT..Keep up the awesome work Pastor Mark!!!..You truly are a blessing to soooo many…Sincerely, NanaB.
I’m from Denver CO and I see a fairly even gender balance in my churh;however,I believe most guys might be hesitant to share their beliefs on facebook for many different reasons.
First of all, I’m tired of all the male bashing that I’m reading here after 4 decades of society crastrating men. Don’t ask where the real men are today. Instead ask, what did we do to arrive at this place for my perspective society has worked like sandpaper to more and more feminize men while the church femized Jesus into a pale faced, prim and proper altar boy.
My name is Pat and I am 53 yrs. old. I am responding to your request on Where are the men? I have noticed that for the last 40 yrs. men have been less and less involved in church matters. They are working longer hours so when they have spare time they use it doing lawn or car work, drinking, or sleeping. Through the years I have noticed that fewer men pray with their families so they sure aren’t teaching their families the ways of the Lord. Alot of men aren’t even with their families anymore, alot don’t even make sure their families physical needs are being met so they sure aren’t taking care of the spiritual ones. My childrens father didn’t ever discuss such matters with them, it was always left to me. We separated and divorced several years after the kids came along and I later met a Godly man and married him so my kids were well versed in the Bible and church matters but most women aren’t that lucky,especially in todays world. Most men are failing miseralbly when it comes to leading their families in the way of the Lord. Thank God for praying, Godly mothers.
i’m female, from Trinidad, West Indies. Can’t wait to see what you have to say about marriage, parenting etc. God Bless !
female from mid missouri.
Just a 56 year old female posting her thoughts on a rainy day,
Sometimes I think the forceful pull of the world attaches more to men. This is not to say that they don’t believe or have faith, but that the worlds ways have taught them…be strong not weak, be right not wrong, stand tall and proud rather than appearing small and humble. The world shouts this at them from everywhere such as their work place, from their family while they were growing up, the sports they watch or play, within their group of friends as well as from many wives.
The meaning of “strength”, “being right”, “standing tall and proud” have different meanings when it comes to men and women. Women see the real strength of a man when he lets his guard down to show his weakness, or his emotion and tenderness with a situation. Women also see how right a man is when he can admit that he was wrong, and women realize the strength it takes for a man to do that. Women also express their awe of a man who can step out of his own shoes and in to another’s who is less fortunate in an effort to lift up his hurting brother. I’m not sure that men would receive this same support of their male friends versus female friends.
Women, in my experience, are able to give others, male and female the emotional support and understanding needed in any given situation so the pull of the world is weakened. We are able to see strength as a weakness…how being right can also be wrong…and how standing tall and proud doesn’t make you tall and proud. Jesus was our example of this. Praise be to God!
My name is Brent. I am a male and I live in Dayton, OH.
Oh yeah, I am also 25 years old.
Female. Berwyn, IL
Egon Gevers
Not here in South Afrika
We are in a revival .
The weeken of 16 April 2010/ 400 000(fourhundret thousand men ) come together to pray .
for more invo go to http://www.mmc2010.com
It is very encouraging and to see so many men taking up the lead in our comunity and country.
To see hundreds of thousands of men leaving from all over our nation
and also from all over the world to come together to seek the face of the Lord across denominational lines colour boundaries and age groups,just coming with a common purpose to find out exactly what it is that God wants them to do with ther lives ,is nothing less than absolute revival !
Female, Lora from Alberta Canada
I look forward every morning to reading the journey into scripture and the insight Rev Mark
has to say. It gives me something to meditate on for the day.
God Bless 🙂
Hello, I am a female from St Charles, MO, USA. I want to thank you for your dedication to this online ministry. I really enjoy the daily inspiration. I found this topic to be very interesting as my husband runs an online ministry called Men of Jesus. His goal is to help men become better leaders for Christ in their home, church, workplace, etc. The website is http://www.menofjesus.org. Please check it out when you get the chance. Thank you and God Bless!
As a man in the Body of Christ, I also find that it seems that women are taking the lead role in the rearing of children and all of the Spiritual responsabilities that go along with. And I realize that it’s not a matter of numerical indifference in a Female male type of poll. But I whink you mentioned in your article that it is rather a thing where men were not taught as children, therefore they don’t have the tools to be a leader in their families. It’s that they have grown up under parents who don’t teach anykind of morals or good values, let alone Christian values, therefore they are lost, unequipped to move into the leadership role. And part of this problem could be that their is divorce and one parent, usually the woman, left to raise 3-4 kids. And lets face it, because women are so much more sensative to spiritual things then many men are, the kids get there first look at Christianity.
And the reason for divorce, is because of a lack of teaching also. If kids were taught what marriage is and that it is 100% vs. 100% in al things, there would be a lot less divorce in my way of thinking. I am from a family where divorce caused a lot of bad things in me, things that I have for my whole life been coming to the point that I have been allowing God to correct. So I encourage all men who may be reading this, to get your life right with God and activelly seek the Lord on areas in your life that need His touch. And lets stop this and put men back where they need to be in relationship with God and with wife. And let us quit making the kids pay.
WOW! 189 comments so far… that’s awesome! I’m definitely going back to read every single one, but right now I’m at work. 🙂
I’m a Female from Miami, FL – USA!
God Bless!
I’m a female from North Carolina
I agree with your comments. It was my mother who sent me to Sunday School but it was the men in the church that inspired me to explore more.
Male from Derby, UK.
Female, Michigan
Does this phrase sound familiar “I am the Church” how I think most of dismiss this when it couldn’t be all the more true to the men that get this principle. I think the article is taking it too far. I’m a male age 30. I for one don’t equate my interaction with a building to my daily walk with Yahweh. I think most men are not in the numbers you gave because most of us see something different than the house of God when we see a church. Church is slowly becoming an audience seated for a show versus the true message of God that the Bible tells us to preach ” The Coming of The Kingdom”. I’m not a church basher, but I think it goes without saying that the message that takes place in this day and time has been weaken. Maybe that’s because we’re growing closer to what the book of Revelations explains (paraphrasing) as being a famine in the word of God. I guess we can count it as another pre-sign of the End Times. I doubt most Christians in the church can tell you what the message was about 3 weeks ago, because the message is that watered down, which brings me to my point” No meat! No men!”
What do I mean by the word meat. Well, we need to look no further than the book of Acts to see what the message was. I don’t think it was about anything that pointed to self, which is more than likely how the message of today will be at any location the Saints are marching to on Sunday. When was the last time you walked out of church feeling convicted, like you have got to better? More importantly when was the last time you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God stepped in the room and moved not only through music and tears, but also in your heart?
I’ll end by saying the lack of meat that is being offered to us (the body) the elect of the Lord results in members (mostly men) finding Yahweh through organic churches and other new school thoughts that are actually old practices. I still fellowship with a church from time to time mainly because I have children that I want to experience the music and etcetera, but make no mistake about it. As my children grow I will be leading them to a different kind of service to God; one that is authentic and that’s not restricted to time. I’ll lead them to where they can freely worship God as they please with out a praise leader telling them when to stop and go. Somewhere they can learn practical truths such as sin, love, sanctification, and more, and actually know who and why they believe what they believe.
That’s it for now, I’ll really stop before this email gets to long.
It is so important that men take the leadership in the home but many take that to the extreme and it ends up abusive. I have always said that for a family to remain effective we need to understand that we are in warfare and that we the “Christians” are not the only ones attempting to bring people into the fold. Satanists go door to door and leave literature and write articles etc…In this day and age we need to be reading the word of God, praying and loving the brethren “fervently”. A wise pastor said in an interview that ” if we as Christians learn to truly and actively love each other in the right sense of the word the churches would not have to advertise – people can smell a fake a mile away- love true Godly love is the key. Men? Yes it is important that men take up their Bibles and blow the dust off and read the word in their family life but more importantly develop the one on one with Christ. Pastors, be lovers of God and the family that you have and then your church family…if you cannot love your family in the way that God requires…be courageous and back off from the ministry (if you have too) and get back on track!! God bless you all …we are at war people…
I’m a female and live the United States in Columbus, Ohio 🙂
Female, Quebec, Canada. Praying for my husband, 3 sons & 2 daughters…& thanking God that He is able to do more than I can ask…or even imagine!!
Oh! I forgot to mention that I am currently living in North Dakota and I am a female and always have been….these days you never know…my hubby is a pastor but not working as one right now…
David Murrow wrote a book called, “Why men hate going to church”. He, like one commenter above, said that the church has become too feminized for most men. He points out a Barna statistic that only 60+ percent of children go to church when mom is the spiritual influence but some 90+ percent go to church when dad is the spiritual leader of the home.
What makes men like to go to church? Things geared toward men. Songs like onward Christian soldiers instead Jesus I’m so in love with you. Men have a hard time singing that they are in love with a man, well usually. Another factor is our culture. During the second world war women started taking on roles that the men filled and working outside the home while the men were off at war. That trend continued when many fathers returned from war. Also, the Jewish culture is rooted in the father taking primary responsibility for training the children up spiritually whereas, this has evolved into the mother taking this on in our Christian culture. I am sure this varies by culture and religion. But if a church can win the men; the women and the children will come along naturally. But thank God for those women who will stand up and take that responsibility when the men won’t. Pray for our men in America to step up again and be honored as they once were.
You are correct. All around me I know Fathers who come home tired after working a long day and either spend the eveing playing video games, going on the computer or watching TV every night. It often falls upon Mothers (who also put in long days) to train up their kids in the ways of the Lord. I raised two young men who are now adults and still attend church. My husband did set an example as far as church attendance, but not for daily Bible study. My sons are just like their Father. Fathers need to be the spiritual leaders, as a wife and mother how can I help?
Jo Heatley Letchworth Hertfordshire UK
Hi Mark!
I think the trend seems to be an issue worldwide and women around the globe need to pray their men into church.
However in saying this our little church seems to have quite a good ratio of men to women compared to others in our area but there a very few single males around.
Thank you Mark for being such a strong annointed male role model. I pray the Lord bless our worldwide church with annointed strong male leaders, to pave the way forward and show the secular world how God intended his male followers to be and what He has planned for them within the church of today. Amen x x
Female, Austin TX
What are the statistics before women started taking the teaching roles in churches?
I have always found it interesting that wives are commanded to respect and husbands to love. It’s not as though women can have rich relationships without loving, or men without respecting. It says to me something about supporting our men to be the leaders they are called to be. If your husband is struggling to take a leadership role – research, brainstorm and learn all the ways you can prop him up in taking that role. One thing that I have used is framing and hanging a collection of interesting examples of what the goal behavior looks like in our home. How To Talk so Kids Will Listen, has a bunch of great cartoons that I have framed to help me and my husband become more skilled in dealing with our children. I also print out encouraging quotes on stock paper and tape them up so they are readily viewable. In my house we LOVE *encouragement*. Not the fluffy bunny everything you feel is okay encouragement but uplifting words that speak to our need to constantly prepare ourselves for the path that lies before us.
I really appreciate the comments about businesses that are open on Sunday. I really wish there was more talk in Christian groups about, not the legal need to abstain from buying and selling on the Sabbath, but the good that can come from it. It means that less demand is created for our teenagers, husbands, and seekers to be called away from the church.
I found the comments about the lack of law being taught to be a very interesting point. As a woman I am confused about this. How do I teach my children that fornication and adultery are sinful when people in the church live together before they are married? At the same time I know these people need to be ministered to also . This no law teaching phenomenon doesn’t have any answers. In regards to male participation, It will give me a lot to ponder.
I am a 16 year old male from Walnut Cove North Carolina
Sadly, you are correct in your position. I am a male from NY, and I can see the disparity in my own church. While I can make excuses about the man of the house needing to work longer hours to make ends meet, etc., it becomes a lame lament when the truth is that men are rarely tuned into their spiritual side when compared to women. Men have been raised in a performance oriented society, but the main focus is always on things of the world rather than things of the Kingdom. While most do a very good job at providing the necessities for their family, many are out of touch with God and what He wants for their lives, simply because they have been trained to respond to the need for the things of the world, as this has always been their “job”. I apologize to you guys out there taking offence, but I have to call a spade a spade. In defence of this though, I must state that my confidence is that God is raising up our men to occupy the position He intended for them all along. There are more and more of us who have discovered that reaching for the brass ring isn’t all it has been cracked up to be. As we move closer to the institution of God’s Kingdom here on earth, more and more men will have their spiritual eyes opened, and will divert all their energies towards that goal, rather than the old one. It will not be long till all men see the folly for what it was and has been. I wait.
I wait too. Thank you for your insightful words.
Mark, reflect on this please. We have (and I’m a minister, so this includes me) “feminised” the church. We sing of love and peace, and have stopped singing the “war” songs. “Onward Christian Soliders” etc.
we talk of chick flicks, and bloke movies, and not the different themes, yet our churches cater almost exclusively for one gender, female. it is any wonder that men don’t come when or buildings, our songs, our services, are very feminine.
How do we make our churches more “bloke friendly”
Cheers
Roy
Hi I absolutely love Journey Deeper Into God’s Word, about two weeks ago on a Saturday one was done and it touched me so much ” Expect God to Act’, it was right on time.
Now I’m a female and I hail from Virginia, USA!
Female ~ Vine Grove, KY
My husband and I read the Bible together and we have been doing our own stuby of the Word from the beginning book of Genesis…we are now in the fourth book of Moses ~ Numbers.
I used to attend church but haven’t in some time b/c my husband doesn’t attend…I’ve been praying for him and God has him now reading and studying the Bible with me…so we shall see….God is Awesome….:-)
From the beginning of time God put Adam in charge of his home(the garden of Eden) but like most men today he took a backseat and allowed his wife to take the lead which resulted in their spiritual death.Throughout my whole life i have seen women in leadership not only in the church or in the home but in every aspect of life,in schools,in the community and in everything and i’m asking the very same question,”where are the men”.We need to do some spiritual warfare against the enemy that has our men bound in order that they fulfill the purpose that they were created to do.Men we need you and may the Lord bless you all.
Male Pueblo Colorado
Male, 20, Lexington SC
female from Binghamton NY
I am a 19 year old male and I live in Davis, California and I attend a college fellowship where this is also a problem. The ratio of guys to girls is very skewed.
My name is Becket. I’m a woman of 44 and I dont really email or comment on things but I love your stuff. Franklin LA
As you already know not a new thought. Some research already going on. Read David Murrow’s book ”Why Men Hate Church’ and visit website http://www.churchformen.com
Well, looks like I join the majority. I am a 60 year old Christian female from Orlando, Florida. The land of Mickey & Minnie Mouse & Friends. But I don’t think they attend a church!!!
Kenneth from Peoria, Arizona, USA. Frontline leader for Jr. High School at CCV. Married, Father of 1 girl 11 & 1 boy 13.
Female in Indiana, USA. Men don’t want to be leaders anymore. They want to sit on their butts in front of the TV and be waited on – by females.
Male – I totally agree with you. It seem that in the areas which matter the most we (as men) fall short of the demographic necessity. We gotta do better…
I am a female from Colorado! =)
I am a male from Michigan and have noticed a major gap in churches across this whole area.It is something like 85% females here. I’m 36 years old and left the church when I 18 years old because frankly, I was bored and looked for an empowering message. My thoughts were clouded by the ways of the world. I believed that Jesus was weak, but I was wrong. I had a disease of diabetes. Life was like hell on earth for me. Only until then did I humble myself and pray for healing. I declared that Jesus could heal me like He did for people in the bible and He did instantaneously.(I have written documentation of healing from doctors.) Something like electricity engulfed by body that day and I was totally healed of diabetes by Jesus Christ. Mostly it’s just plain ego and arrogance mixed in with lies of Satan and ignorance too of the things of God for most males that I told to and associate with. Jesus is the warrior king of the universe and He defeated Hell and the Grave on the cross at Calvary for all people, me and you included. Fathers can be compassionate to their kids too. It isn’t just a female thing either.Jesus is the most loving person I know. He showed us the Father. The word of God is my guidebook for my entire life now. I have a saying,”Lego my Ego.” because it isn’t worth keeping anyway.John 3:16-17 is my favorite verse. Be blessed today. Jesus is the Lord of lords and King of kings and He is coming soon!! Get ready!!
Female in Atlanta Georgia. I’m so happy my husband is as serious as I am about having a relationship with God. We balance each other. We have grown in God at different levels. God has used me to speak to my husband and to set an example. But mostly what I see around me here in Atlanta, is women taking God serious.
Female from Richmond, Virginia
I am a 25 year old woman from Baltimore, Maryland. What you said is so true. In my church there are [on role] 300 women and 35 men. It’s sad that there are so few men in church.
My name says it all.Quite obviously i’m a female but forgot to mention that i’m in VA in the USA.
I’m a female from South Africa. I pray daily for true salvation for my husband. He suffers from depression and alcohol addiction. I praise the Lord for all the wonderful other blessings I have in my life.
Female from Alberta, Canada. I recently became engaged to one of the only men I’ve ever met who’s seriously committed to living a life for God and I’m extremely thankful for him. He is a member of a conservative church that still holds to the idea that men are to be spiritual leaders in the household and I intend to encourage him in that always.
yep, I am a girl… Virginia born and still here! ❤
55 year old female from pinellas park, fl love how well you put the simple things of God into place.We make them hard. God bless with your new work.
Female-KY-USA
Whether we want to admit it men are the leaders overall of the world, hence you can see the effects in various countries. With men not being a part of spiritual developement within their families it therefor leaks out into their communities. In my opinion it is an epidemic with the lack of involvement by men but also in general.
Prayer will help this issue as we need to pray for this need but also for the spritual impotence for this country. Not only does it break my heart to watch/read about some atrocity in the world, even more so I ache for our wonderful God. I feel such compassion and empathy for our dear Lord that his people do not heed him. With all that I am I pray for a miracle of all miracles to permeate the world with a revival that has never been seen. God’s love and blessings…..Hope
Male
Current City: Dallas,Tx.
Home town: Memphis,Tn.
I am Male, from Nigeria. I think it did not start today, it started right from the time of old, remember Martha and mary that eventually introduce the brother lazarus to Jesus, Deborah the George in the book of Georges, mary the mother of jesus, the other Mary and Mary Magdalen that where the first to visit the Tomb of Jesus Christ, Remember Eunice and Lois the mother and grandma of Timothy that transferred a godly heritage to him. and go on and on………
I’m a male from Charleston, SC and currently residing in Winter Haven, FL.
I totally agree with Heather Roberts- Satan is going after the men, he knows that they are supposed to be the leaders of the family so he is doing his best to go after that and the men seem to be letting him. We should ALL bring this situatn befoore the Lord and let Him work the way He sees fit.
I am Carol and I live in Aiken, SC.
I’m from Hyattsville, MD. Some of the comments are true in this email. But Jesus never said “get involved in the church”. He did say, that a person must be born of the water and of the spirit in order to enter the kingdom of God. To bad, many denominations do not teach nor preach this message. What about Bible Prophecy? Bible Prophecy should be read aloud in congregations. That’s not being done either.
It is time for people to stop “going to church” and start being the church. The body of Christ is salt and light in this dark world. Secondly, there may not be many men in church because in America there are thousands of denominations. A denomination is a “religious organization” says Webster’s Dictionary. There are many churches that do not teach the Word of God they simply teach their traditions, and there is little to no move of God.
Will the real Christians stand up and speak up please? God does not want more people to join church. God wants people to give themselves to Him, He will pour out His Spirit upon ALL flesh as He promised and the REAL gospel will be preached REAL soon. Not this watered down Sunday-only worship stuff. It’s time that we really start speaking the truth and that this idea of “going to church” or “let’s have church”.
Aaron from Hyattsville, Maryland. I’m a male.
good comment
30 year old male, Ithaca NY. I absolutely agree that satan is waging a strong war. Men have forgotten that spiritual warfare is a very real thing (Ephesians 6, Daniel 10,11). Add that into a society where me and most everyone I know (males with families) work 60-80 hours a week trying to make enough money to pay the bills. Now, I’m not saying that’s an excuse, but that feeling of “I’m just too tired” is a favorite tool of the enemy. Men need to relearn that the war is real and God’s word tells us how to fight it.
I would like to thank you for the words you put out. God is working for you are speaking to me. I am a single mom of two and need to focus on leading them more as well. Will be looking forward to your inspirational thoughts and practices. You are a miracle working one minute at a time on more than one at a time. God is good all the time, we must look for the good even when we do not see it. WWJD……… Love Fear Honor me some God
Male, Versailles KY
Male Cherokee,IA
hi mark,
female here from upstate ny. my church also has many,many more women than men. thanks to our Lord that my husband is back in church after much prayer and petition. God is Faithful! Love your emails and blog
I am a female from Nebraska USA. Love your insight!
male from fairview, nc…like above about satan being after the men in the families, he is also after all marriages…seems to me more and more marriages are crumbling and are in need of serious prayer
I am a female, age 54, I live in Portland, Oregon.
I am passionately in love with Jesus, my Savior…..
There are a lot of men in my church, more than in any other church I’ve gone to…but in the small groups there are always more women than men, it seems.
I am a female from Singapore, South East Asia. Asian man by culture are less involved in the family but we are catching up with our counterparts. 🙂
“Men need to do this, men need to do that, men should just …..” Ladies, sorry but that’s not the answer. Rather, the Church and Christianity need to change and again become welcome to masculinity. Churches are for the most part purely feminine environments that most men will simply not be part of. Christ is masculine, He is not “gentle Jesus, meek and mild”. Turning Christ into a womanly figure is a process that’s been going on for centuries.
The books to read on this important subject are “The Church Impotent: the Feminization of Christianity”, “Why Men Hate Going to Church”, and “No More Mr. Christian Nice Guy”. Read and study these recent books and you’ll understand men and Christ far better.
Female….Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
Hey Pastor Mark, I’m a 47 year old male from Florida. I only came to the Lord 4 years ago but it’s been a ride since then. I know what you mean about the men. I wanted a Friday night bible study and all I got were the older women from our congregation to come out. There weren’t that many in the “men’s group” on Sunday mornings or Tuesday nights either.
I did notice one thing though, it only takes 1 man coming forward to make a difference. I became part of the flag ministry (shortly after meeting my soon to be wife and changing worship locations) that my wife was leading at our Sunday services and was surprised at how many of the men began coming up to me and telling me how much it meant to have a man up in front. We now get about 50% men to volunteer to take part in our presentations at our home church. We’ve had similar results in other congregations that we’ve participated in worship events with.
I don’t know how to send a better message of encouragement than to tell our brothers to “just do it”. Outreaches, group studies, worship events etc, just take the lead and make it happen. Ask a Godly woman what she wants and she’ll more often than not tell you a strong, Godly man. I don’t know how else to say this, but true Godly woman have confessed to us that nothing excites them more than their man (or a man if they’re not married) on his knees before our Lord. I don’t go there to excite my wife, but I have no problem being there before my God, and any man that has a problem with that needs to get over it. I had severe pride issues; as a highly decorated combat soldier in the US Army, I felt I earned my pride. The Lords word taught me I also had to let it go if I was going to follow Him.
If you get a few minutes take a look on Facebook at Waves of Worships Flag Ministry, or through our Youtube page and see how this man worships our Lord.
God bless Pastor Mark, I look forward to your word to our brothers.
Female, Greensboro, NC by way of Jamaica, West Indies
Female-Tennessee
I am a female & take care of most everything in the household. Our children are all grown so it’s just my husband & I, but he was at one time the spiritual leader of ur home & I had to work really hard on submission because of long past abuse issues with my first husband. He took on all responsibilities of the home, paying the bills, etc. but most decisions we made together. And he was very good at it. He wasn’t the type of husband who abused his leadership role & tried to be controlling. But there was a huge fallout in our church & it split. When that happened we stopped going because of the way the fallout was handled. Anyway, when this happened, my husband & I no longer went to church & he now says he will never attend another one. I on the other hand have tried several, but not found a home. Over the years since that has happened, he is no longer a spiritual man at all. He still believes in God & tries to live a Christian life, but that’s about it. All responsibilities of the home are now mine again, although the decision making we still do together. I don’t know what made him change so much as he won’t talk about it. He respects my boundaries where the Lord is concerned as I still read my Bible, watch Joyce Meyer on TV, listen to Christian music in my car, etc. but he doesn’t appear to be serving the Lord. He may be doing something between himself & God, but his actions certainly don’t demonstrate that. I pray many times throughout the day & every time in get in my car to go somewhere. Sometimes he makes fun of me, but I just tell him there is no telling where we would be if I wasn’t praying! God brought us through so much, I can’t believe he has changed so much over what happened at our church. But it has changed him & only God can change him back. I pray every day for an awakening on his part, but I know it will happen in God’s time not mine!
Female from Stow, Ohio.
I’m pleasantly surprised by how many responses were posted so far! This has made such an impact in my life, and I’m so truly blessed to be an active member of something so wonderful.
God bless you, Pastor Mark, and God bless each and every reader!
I am a female from the United States. As a single mom, it has been my role to be a spiritual leader in my home. I’ve longed for the support of Christian mate. My Mother also was the one that taught us about Jesus, but we had good Christian male role models with our two uncles. It was their influence on my brother and I that showed us what God does with men seeking Him. Though they weren’t around enough for us to learn from them, there was still this “knowing” they were different then what we had experienced with our real dad. We know that no one is perfect and so I do not hold anyone up on a pedestal, but I am very proud to have seen my brother read scripture and tell Bible stories to his children, as well as to my tiny daughter when we visited. We are all learning more about this relationship we are growing in each day with our Lord Jesus. Because of the lack there of, I strongly feel it is very important a man play a part in the spiritual nurturing of his children. It may be in a quiet way, it may be directly. Your children just know by watching your daily walk as you seek God. I am proud of you too. 🙂
Thank you for sharing so much everyday Mark. As a long time believer and teacher of the Word I too have a difficult time with the leadership of the men. I know how difficult it is to raise a family in these times; but beyond an income it is so very sad to see the news and the decline in the morality of our youth. I can’t help wondering if there were to be more fathers involved in the Christian teaching and the general upbringing of their children, would there be so much violence in the younger generations.
God bless you in your Ministry Mark
Judy
Supprising as it may be its not about going to a building or to an assembly!! It is about a covenant relationship with God. Fix this problem the rest will follow!!!!
Most know the does and don’ts male and female but few have a covenant relationship with God.
You can set in a hen house for as long as you want but you will never become a chicken. Just because people set in a pew in a religious building does not make them a covenant related child of God.
More women are involved in a religious way than men because they are the care takers. They work off of their God given roll of emotions and feelings and how wonderful they are. But men work off of intalect, they are your reasoners. And we preachers have given them very little to reason about over the past years as young boys and now as men. However I can’t place all the blame on preachers after all the members dictate how much time we have to teach. 45 min. bible class, 20 min. sermon. You can’t give anyone enough information in that short of time to help them know who God is and what he wants from us. So therefore there is no depth to our lessons which makes infant spiritual people who even if they have been attending an assemble for 65 years only have a second grade level of biblical knowledge.
I could go on but the answer has not changed from the beginning of this note. Fix the one the other will follow.
I am a female and I am from South Carolina, USA. I am not a parent, but as I have developed both of my parents have taken their roles in teaching me the godly ways of life. Neither one has done more than the other and I am very blessed to have parents like mine.
female from Danville, Va
Female – Blue Ridge, Georgia, USA
God’s perfect design is for the man to be the leader – in every aspect of our lives, including spiritual. This is often not the case. Many women are finding themselves filling the man’s roles out of neccessity. My advice to young women is don’t even entertain the idea of a relationship with a man who doesn’t put God first in his life…everything else will fall into place.
Female-Mississippi Gulf Coast-USA
Female from Louisiana…thanks for this wonderful site. It continually blesses me and I am grateful. GOD is so good to us .
i’m not a parent, but i am a firm believer that to raise godly children they must have goldy examples. children watch others besides just their parents so it’s important for all of us to be a godly example to all around us. i also pray for all men everywhere
Female in Nevada USA. I’ve been the one that promotes church and prayer and reading the Bible in my home.
As a single man, Chicago- IL…Here is my personal experience for the past 10 yrs:
For 8 whole yrs I was attending church on TV (TBN, Daystar, Word network, etc…) following all the best and anointed preachers from one place(my house). It helped me a lot in my spiritual growth. My tithes was going to Columbus, Ohio. My offerandes were distributed to different ministries around the country. You wouldn’t see me in a church pew, but yet I was involved.
How many men out there that you’ve never heard of, never show in your “Church-Polls” who are doing just this for variety of reasons.
I recently decided to move close to a local church where I’m now member for about 2 yrs.
My question to all of you is:
Is the physical absence of men in a physical 4 walls church building has an impact on the advancement of the Gospel?
Or is it to make everybody feel better?
The last time that I checked, God doesn’t move by feeling or need, He MOVES BY FAITH…
When the world population was 50% Male & 50% Female, Eve failed in that spiritual role…
We all need prayer, and let God be GOD…
Hope my personal experience will help your research about where are the men?
Hey Mark keep up the good work…
Hi Konan, For us, church is about relationship with God and one another. We have formed a community that is very much like a caring family. In addition to worship, we work together to spread the Word, be God’s hands and feet in service to others and share a meal together every week. I have not figured out how to do this alone.
Interesting observation, but not surprising to me. I believe that spiritual leadership in the family tends to fall on women because in order to communicate spiritual truths successfully, one must employ humility and introspection. It’s not that men don’t/can’t possess this qualities, it’s just that our society often demands that men show bravado and confidence, and this gets so ingrained that they are unable to switch gears. Spirituality taught solely from a position of power always proves unsuccessful. Women, due to their innate nature (sorry, as this is not “PC”) and their position in society, seem more able and willing to take on this role. Will/can this change? Hope so.
Female, Pembroke Pines, Florida USA In my parish we have plenty of men who contribute thier time to teach the word , feed the poor and many other ways. I feel blessed to see a high volume of men that come . I also feel that we should stop making excuses for men. I pray that the same enthusiam they have when they go to sporting events, they would give it to God. There was a time when my husband only went to church on Sunday with the family. I joined a prayer group on Wed. night but he just did’nt want to go. So I would leave him at home on the sofa watching TV. He really is a good man, but had no desire to go further on with God. I pray without ceasing all the time for him to touch him in a special way and one Wed, about ten years ago he just got dress and told me he was going with me to the prayer meeting. He has’nt stop yet. We live a life putting God First and he has blessed us so much with a great group of people that love God and encourage one another. One thing I learn was not to pressure him in going with me . I left that in the hands of Jesus through prayer, thanksgiving and supplication and I thank him for he heard my prayer. God has blessed us with a wonderful spiritual Leader in our Parish. Father Paul Vuturo. Also thank You Mark for all the wonderful teachings. I tell all the man Out there. Stand Up for Jesus, The power is all his.
55 year old male, Orange County, Southern California.
I totally agree, we men are missing in the church. I’m not married now, but when I was I wasn’t leading my house in the way of the Lord. Probably why things happened the way they did. I do try now (my girls are grown) to lead them to the Lord. It would have been a lot easier if I was doing the right thing 15 years ago.
I want to thank you Brother for your blog. So often you talk about something that is running through my head. And it’s good to know that it isn’t just me.
May the Lord continue to bless you and your family.
Hi, I am from Kansas City, KS. A friend and I were just discussing this very thought over lunch yesterday!
I came to the conclusion (after watching my Christian friends’ lives and reading about godly men) that God appears to pour out His hand of blessing on those families, churches, communities, and nations where the men love the Lord and walk in obedience to Him. It is the MEN that He holds accountable.
Personally, I have had break- thrus in family relationships and answers to my prayers, once my husband began to pray WITH me and FOR me last year. God’s desire is for men to lead with hearts of integrity and love.
Female- 19- Indiana
I’m a 58 year old male who has been burdened about this for awhile. I appreciate this post and I hope we all will pray for the spiritual drawing of men to God before it gets too late for our nation. I love this page and I am TRULY a fan!
Male; Powder Springs, GA/ USA
I’m a guy from Florida. I’m trying to grow into the man of God that He wants me to be so that I can help bring other guys to the faith.
Female. Lawton Ok.
female-I live in Valencia Carabobo State. Venezuela-South America. Thanks for you Facebook page which I look forward to read every day .I agree with you , it also happens in Venezuela, more women than men go to church. Even, one of my son-in-law doesn´t believe in God, so I have a real problem with my grandchildren; It is quite hard to teach them the word of God. Praise be the lord , there is a female person in the family who can pray , teach and talk about Jesus and show them how much God loves them through Christ.I believe in prayer so I am praying a lot for them I am expecting for Lord´s answer. He is faithful. God bless you.
I am a 20 year old male from Manitoba Canada
Your observation are right. Its like you were talking about me. I need to recommit my Self to the service of God, read the word and fellowship. God bless you
You’re right! I hope more men can definitely get involved in church. it’s important. they are our leaders and women of course cannot carry the weight in all the relationships or in moving towards Christ together. I want a godly husband one day, and I hope he’s one of the blessed men to actually go to church and receive.
that’ll be lovely. thanks for sharing, sir.
sincerely,
Colette
I am from Dawsonville, GA. My husband has always been involved in church. I have to say that the past few years have been when he has stepped up to really be a spiritual leader in our home. It took complete submission to God and hitting such a low point that only He could fix it. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ!
oh! and i’m 18. sorry i forgot. and a girl.
I am a pastor’s son from St. Louis, MO, and I was at a Minister’s and Men’s Conference almost a month ago where this exact subject was the main topic. We need to reach an awakening among our men to win other men for the cause of Christ, and I believe this can only be accomplished through the power of prayer and an outpouring of the Spirit of God.
Male – American living in Northern Italy
Ehi, female from Nigeria…I noticed the imbalance a long time ago and it increases as the years go by. The enemy Knows that when He attacks the Head, its easier for Him to carry out His plan of distruction and rebellion in families and societies, Lets keep praying, God will intervene, turn the hearts of Men back to Him and enable them fufil their God given roles in their families and Society!!
I’m a female, 36, in California, USA. Thankfully, my husband is involved in the church and helping with our kids being raised in the faith. I love your posts and look forward to reading them each day.
It is happening the world over! Men are abandoning their place as the priest of the home, not attending church and consequently the family, church and community all suffer.
I recently attended a meeting at my church for prospective “members”–the next step up from “regular attender”–as I feel the Lord’s calling in my heart and for my life to get more involved. Of the 8 people that attended the meeting, 6 were women. A 3-to-1 ratio, or 75% women. I felt saddened, but not surprised. It seems that many men do not accept the role of being the priest to their family…something I desire to step up for myself. Something about removing the board from my eye before concerning myself with the splinter in my brother’s…
Thanks and God bless!
Hey, It is Annie in Qld, Australia. Thank you so much Mark. Just wrote but it did not go through! I have just been jilted again by a Christian man of 25 yrs after almost 4 yrs proposing marriage. He is doing a good job of making me look a disgrace…yet came back and asked marriage again! He wins the love of Pastors & leadership in church & now I look like the ugly one! Wolves in sheeps clothing I believe it reads. How can we keep these men out of the church?
In my family it was always Mom who took the lead in spiritual teaching and getting us to church, Dad only went occassionally. So it has been the same way in my life. I think some men believe that it is the womans job to take care of the childrens upbringing and they to take care of the finances. I’m not sure, my husband goes to church with me, but would rather watch overhauling on TV. Go figure.. He loves Jesus,just not enough to put Him as priority, ( it’s a shame.)
Female. Fosom, CA
Pray for men to rise up and serve. God will move!
Hi Mark, I am living in Jo’burg and have been married for over 30 years. My husband and I are both church-goers and I run a sunday school for ages 2 – 10. Funily enough, I have far more boys than girls in the group. Maybe things are changing!!
53, single male from India. Very discouraged, but still trusting in God.
Thank you for your insightful and encouraging daily comments! I was recently reading my current copy of Faith Today, the excellent magazine of the Evangelical Fellowship of Canada, and an article was about “feminine worship” in our churches. This particular church noticed how most members were women, & they wanted to know how to change that. They “rated” worship songs on a scale from very masculine (phrases about God’s strength, power, majesty, etc) to very feminine (love, desire, intimacy, etc) and neutral. When they took out the most extremely feminine songs and included more masculine ones, the men in the congregation became more vocal in their praise…the short story is that after a few months, male attendance had risen to about double.
I’m not advocating throwing out huge volumes of worship songs, but it’s one factor in making sure ALL aspects of our services FIRST focus on the Lord, but also are respectful and balanced so both genders can praise our God in freedom, spirit and truth.
For an AWESOME book for married & pre-married, I recommend everyone read LOVE AND RESPECT by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It’s one of the most biblically based, every- day language books I’ve read…we have a good marriage & it’s improved things!! My husband read it first & really enjoyed it (he usually only reads action/spy books). Please, please, please get it or give it to a friend…it will explain Ephesians 5:33 like you’ve NEVER heard it before. Be Blessed in Him!!
Male – Kokomo, Indiana USA I agree. We as men need to step up to the plate and be the men that God intended us to be; Leaders in our homes and churches! Amen! God bless you all !
Ladies, where I come from this message (where are the men?) rings a little hollow, church women in my age group (20s to early 40s) tend to be very status/career oriented and are secondarily interested in a man’s spiritual leadership, more so in his $, charisma, etc. They stay single into their 30s and 40s many times, and they were probably asked out but shot the guys down (very very picky).
I was able to Bible quote at or more than many of the men and the women, I attracted some _friends_ but maybe 2 in a 4 year span who considered me a dating prospect (I wasn’t ugly, stupid, or homeless looking). It’s this level of disinterest or rejection that has made me want to not be Christian at all many times. These “where are the good men?” comments seem like a language from another planet.
Please, ladies, tell me why church/Christian women shoot so many men down and are so picky/delaying if they _are_ interested in a relationship. Don’t even get me started on the headache-prone wives. This is the default position I assign Christian women until proven otherwise.
Disclaimer: my geography is the yuppie part of the state.
Female from England. I really appreciate your blog – thanks
Yes, I am a woman and a Sister in the Anglican Order of Preachers, AKA, Anglican Dominicans, http://anglicandominican.com/ . I live in North Dakota, USA. It is interesting that we have few women in our Order. The majority are men. I wonder why this is the case? In my experience, women dominate in church settings and do the bulk of the volunteer work. This is not to devalue the men who are present and work every hard to maintain and grow our Episcopal community.
If you mean women preachers, that there are any at all should be a red flag:
God sent Jesus, Jesus sent Paul, who forbade them on the basis of
1) Adam being formed first
and
2) Eve being deceived, not Adam.
Women can serve in many roles (service to needy, evangelism, to name two), but not in teaching men.
hey there am a man from kenya surely there is a decline in men of God as its seen in churches around here there more women than men………..am praying for the deliverance of men that they may see Gods blessing
Female. Upington, Northern Cape, South Africa
Im a man from the Netherlands and I have to admit Im rather surprised reading through the replies here. I am a member of a Calvinist church here in the Netherlands and have not seen any kind of asynchronity when it comes to activity let alone presence of men in our churches when compared with the women. My church here builds on what is called ‘the triangle’ of Church, Home, and School… where our people are brought up, raised, and taught, in Gods ways, in all three environments. Our churches here have their own schools (from elementry schools all the way up to highschools) with some of the best educated teachers in the country (when you teach as a christian teacher you do so out of ideology and faith, not because you arent qualified to do something that pays much more). Our churches have intensive education programs where our children and adolescents are taught in our basics of faith through the catechisms. In our families it is commonplace to pray together before and after breakfast (together with the whole family) in the morning, as well as before and after dinner in the evening. It is normal to read from the Bible at the end of each shared meal (breakfast, dinner, and in the weekends also lunch). Sometimes we also sing a hymn or spiritual song at the end of dinner, other times we discuss something we just read about from the Bible. Our faith is ever present in our lifes and our upbringing through these simple, dedicated routines, which involve all members and all children of our churches. It does not always work, and it does not save everyone… but I certainly have not noticed any discrepancy between male and female involvement. Knowledge of yourself and your own weakness, and knowledge of God, are together what results in loving God. If you do not recognize your own weakness, you do not (think you) need God. If you do not recognize Gods greatness, you do not need God. I believe the second is generally easily covered, but it is the first where churches might fail. “If I had to contribute but one sigh to my own salvation, I was lost forever.” is a quote (translated from Dutch) often used in my churches, and I believe this faith to be key. “”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 NIV)
I’m a male from Slidell, Louisiana
I’m female too! I live in Reading, Berkshire, UK.
Love reading your blog, and hearing all about what God is doing in your life. It’s nice to know that He never stops perfecting us. Even my 80yr old Mum who is a lovely woman of God is still changing and being moulded by the Lord. It’s amazing to know that His hand is firmly on us and He cares too much about us to leave us the way we were.
As for the men, well in the UK the majority of households I would say (don’t know for a fact as haven’t done analysis) have no permanent male authority in there let alone a Christian male authority. Maybe that has something to do with it. Also women tend to share more about their feelings and guys don’t so much so they don’t get to hear about the love of Jesus from their colleagues or friends?
I only became Born Again in 2005 so my children were almost grown up by then so now I have the task of praying for them and trying to show them the heart of Jesus and how He loves them. They didn’t have a permanent male role model either, lots of men came in and out of my life, none of them fit to take up the task of “step dad” it’s true you sow what you reap. My kids are good (really good compared to some I see) they believe in Jesus but they’ve not totally given up the worlds influences. I believe the Lord is working in their lives (I have to hold onto that) so I pray for them and hope that one day they will come home into the kingdom of heaven on earth.
God Bless you all….xx
My name is Debbie. I am from New York. Our church sunday school director has married couples work with the first grade up. The impact is huge because we have several students who come from single homes, or homes that are in the process of breaking up, and they get to see and experience love not only from the women of our church but the men also.
Female for Nigeria God Bless you all.
Being a truly spiritual (not conformed to the world) woman, single or not, who is encouraging and helping (help mete) to men has a great influence. Women have moved from influencers to leaders and maybe it has changed/confused how men view their Biblical roles.
We are God’s children if we have entered into a relationship with Christ and our guide is His Word and the Holy Spirit – male or female. While nurturing and growing in the relationship (male or female) we will begin to use the gifts He has given us (we are His workmanship created for good works) as a by product of submission. If the church we are in wants the works/leadersip/outward result of men leading – the environment and emphasis of the organization has to be to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ. Some chruch’s get the cart before the horse or are completely missing the cart and the horse!
I share not in a critical spirit but out of seeing the contrast. The pastor/priest/leader of the congregagtion/parishioners is the one who ultimately must be growing in this personal relationship in order to be leading the people to grow. Sometimes people don’t follow but the result is left to God.
Finally, it is the greatest advernture of this short life to be in a dynamic relationship with Jesus Christ and to dig deeper and deeper into His character and purpose for me. I am of al “men” most blessed.
Julie
Julie, setting the passage of “there is no male or female” to allow for women to teach men is to overrule one passage with another, to make a contradiction out of the Bible. Taking that to its logical conclusion, “there is no male or female” allows men to marry men and women women. The passages that follow the wives/husbands passages would then say parents submit to your children, or to obey them in the Lord (Eph. 5 and 6).
Women’s lib and the women being the majority of the church is a major reason the church is afraid to say this on many occasions. Offend them, they leave, with the kids, and their friends may not show up…etc.
I simply appreciate having you easy and accessable. And I don’t beckon prayer partners as often as I could or perhaps even should, leaning on the everlasting arms and trusting him more today than ever before. I go meet with Dr.Larry Leichover this morning as he acesses my MRI and other xray results where others have said my back is in trouble due to degenerative discs in my back, three are in trouble up in my upper back and neck and down at the pelvic region they haven’t even taken pictures yet.Through my recent experience this past year, after being rear ended while sitting in a parked car has been difficult and painful. The Nero surgeon I see today was paid and will let me know the severity of what he sees and what I have to face with these challenges. I also Know this.. I am a child of the most high God. Maker of heaven and earth. He is my father, my attourney, And my healer! One and the same father of our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth and HE SEES all that needs to be seen and forgets all the past my flesh battles to keep behind me!!! I Know he is a God of creative miracles and tday I stand expectant to see him show himself large in the plans he has for me. Not to harm but to finish all he began and others will truly be amazed at his mighty hands upon my life. I am HIS wife alone and look forward to him bringing in the physical husband who’s arms will enfold around me and share in the rich rewards this side of heavan That have been purposed. In Jesus Mighty name, I ask you to pray for him today!!! That he not miss a single beat as he does what he is supposed to be doing and untill he is able to come and claim me as his own. Who ever and where ever he is let peace rest upon him and let him know that he knows that he knows he being prayed for also. Protect us both Lord in the difficulties we must endure through this process.
Male, from Madison, In
Bro Mark it has been enlightening to read and share your insight that GOD so richley has given you and for your daily challenges for all of us who share one common purpose in this world Thank you for your obedience to the LORD written and spoken words, they are always uplifting to me and thoses I share the Gospel with
Male from Nigeria. I really love what youre doing here Rev Brown. May God continue to bless you.
Hey Brother Mark, Thank you for bringing this up. I feel we do have a lack when it comes to men’s participation in church. My husband was over the men’s ministry at our church for at least 7 years that I can remember and getting our men to come to meeetings and even events that he tried to get going was like pulling teeth. He tried bowling, fishing, superbowl party, and even a card game night and all that would come was 3 or 4 out of about 50 men. I really feel this is sad. I know I have had to take on roles that men should be carrying , only because the men would not step up. I would love to see a great pouring out of the Holy Spirit over our men in this world, for men to take their rightful places. I am not bragging, but I am one woman that believes in following and submitting to my husband. Men, rise up and take your positions, in Jesus name. Us women need this in our lives. No my husband is not a slavedriver, we work together on decisions and discuss things together, but he still has the final say so. Thank you Lord for my husband who is one of the few that loves you and does as the word commands.
By the way, I am female as if you didn;t figure this out already, from Centerville, Georgia.
I am female from Dallas, TX This man to woman ratio is so true and I do agree that men should step up and become more involved in learning and teaching the way of the LORD.
I am a female and I am from Sandusky, Ohio
HI MARK,I PRAY THAT MEN WILL STEP UP TO THE PLATE AGAIN @ CHURCH AND TAKE OVER THEIR RIGHTFUL SPOTS. THE LADIES HAVE TOO DO OR PLAY THE MALE ROLE.NEVERTHELESS THE LADIES WILL DO WHAT HAVE TO BE DONE CAUSE IT MUST GO ON. BE BLESSED,ALSO YOUR FAMILY….
I am a female from Sweden. An important subject you are writing about!
I’m a male in the southern part of Dallas, TX. Where are all the males? How’s this – New guy comes to Christ in or out of church but ends up in church ultimately. Do we shepherd them in reading the Bible (maybe even together or as a small group?), how to pray, let them know God loves them no matter how much they stumble, maybe hang out with a couple of other guys to talk about what’s going on in their lives and encourage them to have a relationship with Chirst in ALL of their life and all of their family’s life? Or, when they come in, is our new members committe busy saying ‘Welcome and now here’s all the groups we offer – pray about where would you like to serve?’ No ‘tell me about your life or gosh, you might just be broken like crazy and still trying to heal and grow in this’. I’m in my 50’s, married with my wife in church. I’ve lost at least 10 friends to this. Many who are coming to church for the first time. Oh, they are all saved, I promise. They just don’t want to come to our ‘churches’ in it’s current state. I’m not leaving my church, just trying help it change. But I can tell you, that’s a lot of where the males have gone.
I am a woman from Chicagoland, IL, USA.
I believe women are the nurturers of faith. My husband is faithful, but not a leader. Yet, in the darkest hours, he is moved by the Holy Spirit to witness, and it’s something to see. Praising God for his faith!
I think we need to remember each person’s spiritual gifts and that God does use them for His purpose. And He is not gender specific.
Blessing and peace to all!
Bonnie,
He is gender specific when it comes to roles, obviously when it comes to elders being husbands of but one wife, “he” pronouns, taken to its logical conclusion you would have to allow for same sex marriages in the church. Do you believe that there are _no_ gender distinctions for men and women in the Bible? In that case, please make the case for same sex marriage. “There is no male or female” then overrides the passages on homosexuality.
Women also would have to love their husbands as Christ loved the church, as well. No differences means that if the husbands are commanded the wives are too, etc….
I am a female in the United States. Growing up, my dad was the one in our household that made sure we went to church.
Keep up the great work!
God Bless You!
I am a 36yr old female, and get much encouragement from your blogs, thank you so much 🙂
Female Portland, OR
I’m a female from Texas. Very good blog. Have to agree with everything you are saying. I have three boys, 20, 15, and 9 and I have had to be the spiritual leader. We live in a very corrupt society.
I am a male from Poteau, Ok
Female in Fort Worth, TX
I am a 19yr old male. I would agree that men are in the minority when it comes to church. I think that they have this preconceived notion that church has to be boring and a pew-sitting waste of an hour. In reality however, it doesn’t have to be! I hope God will bring more men back to His house and show them just how exciting it can be!
I am a female from Louisiana.
our small group for single parents has a similar demographic – there are 2 faithful men (and one left for a while and came back)
We are very curious as to how to encourage the men
enjoy your blog – thank you!
I’m male… 🙂
First of all, I think you are right, that more women actively participate in the body of believers. It’s been that way all of my life and I don’t see a big change towards fixing that. That being said, male leaders should be nurtured in our Churches because they are extremely important, especially if we have fewer of them.
Also, I have a theory about men and women on Facebook. Yeah, there’s only a 10% difference in the number of registered users on FB, but I am convinced that much more women consistently and regularly use FB than men.
I am 37 yr old male, from Indianapolis, IN..
I am a single woman from Paris, KY.
I can’t tell you the last time I was approached by a God fearing man.
Thank you for all you do.
Female from Denver Colorado
I am a female from the Pittsburgh, PA area. I am not married, I am actually divorced. But I have been divorced for 18 years. I find that there are not a lot of single christian men. That is the one thing that I am devoted to finding in a man for a serious relationship. So I ask “where are all the single christian men?” I see a lot of families, fathers included at church in my area. Most of the men that I know from these families are very involved with the spiritual aspect of their children’s lives, but I also know non-believers and the whole family is not involved with the spiritual aspect of their children. A lot of prayer is indeed needed in this and many other areas of this world.
Female…40…..North Central Arkansas. I see it in our church! Women way out number men!
I am 22 male and involved much in the church and my relationship with God. Unfortunately my wife has grown up with Christianity and never had that impacting change even though shes accepted and believed in Christ. I’m praying for change, it’s all in His hands.
Female, Oregon
I love your blog. I am a 73 year old wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I love your blog and I think you are doing a great service. I think it’s great that you are on Facebook and reaching so many younger people. Keep up the great work. May God be with you in your endeavors. God bless.
I am a Kenyan, male and religious… I believe in God and the Son Jesus Christ.. and most of all. I believe in faith.
Hi. I am a female from Rochester NY. My husband is a strong Christian and tries to lead us in the way of the Bible. We are very involved in our church and in our community. He is a great dad and a wonderful example of Christ. I am proud to say that it is my husband’s devotion to Christ, and his desire to go to church that brought me back to following the Lord and attending church again after many years of not doing so.
My kids, both boys, now ages 12 & 14, love the Lord and wish to always do so, just as their dad does. 🙂
Thank you for having this blog. It is important to keep the men in the church and in God’s word.
God Bless,
male- LaFayette Alabama, USA
This is unfortunate, however the problem is ours ,Men of faith have to be more transparent.if we as men can duplicate the love of GOD.If we can live a holy and victorus life in faith.We can have the power of duplication GOD, has design the world in producing after its own kind. The solution is simple as men of faith we must die to self,(THE GREATER OF THE WHOLE IS MORE IMPORTANT THE THE GREATER OF THE ONE) and equip ourself by learning how to follw a GODLY man.The most important aspect of this as Men we MUST REACH OUR YOUNG MEN IN A GODLY LOVE! THAT WILL BE THE POWER OF DUPLICATION
GOD BLESS
Anthony Crenshaw
I am a female from TN. I have seen this in my own family. My mom passes away in Nov. 2009 from cancer and well now I am the one that is spiritually strong in my family. I never thought I would be the one keeping my own father in check who I thought of as a very spiritual man (now I see how much my mom did for my father). The same goes in my own house, my self I keep talking to my husband about being the godly husband head over our household. However, sad to say if I set back and did nothing I am scared that my husband and dad would have no one to hold the countable and would stray!
hang in there Cynthia, your example to the men in your family and your children is priceless and God will reward you.
female
So true! God made our men to be the leader of the home and they need to step up and fill their role. ( :
I am a female in Georgia. My married friends and I have discussed this for sometime and have many theories. The most prevalent one is that it is more difficult for the nature of men to rely solely and completely on the intangible. Because faith is invisible, I believe that the emotional nature of woman will allow us to succomb to it. I have been praying for marriages and families because it seems that the adversary desires to destroy anything that God has ordained.
Believe it or not the Christ loving women of the world want their husband’s to take on the priestly role in the household. I pray that God send us laborers.
you are so right Kim. I heard that women are naturally more spiritual while men are caught up in the temporal. Older men being examples and teachers, and wives being examples will help. God has the answer
male
Loudon,Tennessee
I agree with you, and as a christian mom of 2 young ones, I applaud your call on men. My husband is a very involved father when it comes to all aspects of our kids lives, except for this one. I am fully responsible for making sure that my kids are brought up in Christ. It is hard when I am tired and trying to get 2 kids ready in the morning, and he gets to sleep in. He really feels that he has no obligation to me or his kids to become involved in church. It is encouraging to know I am not the only one, and I hope that much prayer can get the men more involved in going.
In my church there is about a 50% male and female breakdown. I know what your are saying though. A lot of men have left the church for whatever reasons. These reasons are not valid in my opinion. It is just the work of the enemy. The same is true of the family. The man seems to do his thing which is to work long hours and then to play hard leaving the wife to raise the kids. Sounds like an attack to me. The enemy knows how to destroy.
Single Mother in Ohio. (Been divorced 9 years no single Christian men even close to becoming an item).
Joyce, praying for God to send you a Christian man. There out there, you may have to venture to other congregations, seminars, etc.
35 yr old, husband, father, friend living in Atlanta, GA
am female from Philippines 🙂
In our Church, there are far more women than men. Women seem to be doing what men should be doing. I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong with women taking a prominent roll in the church, it is just a shame that more men won’t step up to the plate!
Vicki, We have the same problem in our congregation. I ask an upstanding elder of a larger congregation, because ours is so small, what we should do. We have 2 men that will teach class and the women do all the teaching, planning, for all the teens, children, women. His answer would not work, he said “If the women stop the men will have to” That was not a good answer because then all teaching would end. Since then we have had more members join, and more men that will teach. God is so good to work within us.
Am Michael from Kenya, and I am one of the few men who are believers in the Lord Jesus Christ.
It is true men are a minority in anything top do with God. I think the major problem men have is that they dont like submission, so they find it hard to submit even to God. They always like to be the ones on top of everything.
Yet if we are to concur the world for Jesus then men must take the lead in this. So we need to pray for our men to aknowledge the supremacy of God and submit to him in all ways before we can change the world for Jesus christ
God bless you for the good work
I am a female in the United States. I must say as a single mother in the church its very frustrating to see only married men in the church. my parents (both mother and father) raised me and my sister in the church. (the same church my parents met and got married in).
I am a wife, mom a grandma, and pastors wife. And yes, many times the men hold back in all the roles that they should be leading in. However I do see the generation of my kids turning that around. And in the church that we minister in the men take on any task that is needed. We praise God for them!
I’m a 46 year old femaile from Las Cruces, New Mexico. My husband goes to church with the kids and I, and we attend a small group bible study during the week. However, he’s not as involved in church activities as the kids and myself, and on some Sundays, he “just doesn’t feel like going to church.” Which I can’t relate to. I love, and look forward to church all week! Our church is very blessed to have wonderful youth programs, and they, including my kids, are ‘on fire’ for Christ’! When my son, who is 16, is an adult with a family, I fully expect him to be one of those men who will attend church, which I agree, are missing in our churches today!
Female from Texas.
This article intrigued me because, as a young woman, like many I feel an almost instinctual need to find the man who’s right for me to settle down with. (It doesn’t help that my mother is frequently pleading with me to name my first little girl after her.) In the secular world, this would be difficult enough, but as a Christian, the journey’s even steeper, rockier, and longer. I know it certainly feels like every opportunity I take advantage of to meet young, Godly men ends up feeling like the only ones who go to church are either already married or engaged. It makes me think of the Jennifer Hudson song, “Where Did All the Good Men Go,” with a little twist. My question is, “Where Did All of God’s Men Go?”.
On the brighter side, this dilemma has forced me to draw nearer in my relationship to God and realize that I have already found my one and only true love in Jesus Christ. After all, it will be the church that becomes His bride when he establishes His kingdom. As a part of the church, I can’t wait to be a part of that as well! I don’t know if that helps anyone else, but it always makes me willing to stick it out and hold on to God’s standards for a little longer.
Female
I live in Cork, Ireland. I have found that, frequently, it is the woman who starts going to church first. The man is more reluctant. With us; my daughter went first, then me and the other children, then my husband. All became saved!
Thank the Lord
Female from Hahira, GA …USA Love you encouragement!
18, Female, AL.
male, 20, frederick maryland.
men are the natural leaders,,, and i see that young women are easily tricked by unrighteous men, so men need to be REAL MEN, and stand up for whats right, and Jesus!
I am a 38 yr old female from Texas, USA, mother of 3 children ages 3, 9, and 17, and I am blessed to be married to a Godly man. We are raising our 17 yr old Son to be a Godly man. We attend a wonderful Church where we are all, men and women alike,encouraged and equipped to serve in any way we can. We have an awesome Youth group where our young men & women are being raised up and encouraged to serve the Lord, and they are ” On Fire for Jesus!” Although I have often wondered the same thing, I don’t see it in our new church. We actually left a denominational church almost a year ago for that very reason. Where the women were not allowed to serve in certain areas of Ministry, and the number of men in the church was declining.( we were the youngest family attending, and ours were the only children.) It was a hard decision to make, but we know it was the right decision for our family. We let the Holy Spirit lead us to where we are now, and there are no regrets.
Female, Vista, CA ~ Thank you for posting His word. It always lifts me.
From New York! I strongly agree with you….
* 4% of men ages 16-24 in America attend church regularly.
* 2/3 of the people in church on Sunday are women
* Women are 50% more likely to be actively serving in church and 58% more likely to open their Bible during the week than men
*At the present rate of decline, the church in America will be virtually devoid of men in 2028
I am a 49 yr old nevermarried, single mother. My married daughter now is 26 with 2 small boys 3 and 1. Even though I had nevermarried, and my relationships (4) all totaled approx. 4 years. I spent the rest of the time alone and working to raise her. I taught her how the role of the woman should be. When I tried taking this role with the men I had chose, they chose to abuse the role and me. Saying I was too nice and domesticated. When in reality, I believe they didn’t know how to be the man, given the chance to be the leader they got scared and took it out on me. So,I chose NOT look any longer, and let a MAN find me. Which has not happened but I have faith that it will.
female, USA.
Wow, what a breakdown. Not just locally, but globally. I have been married 20+ years to a wonderful man, who up until a few years ago lead our house spiritually. Something changed him, he still goes to church, but is no longer active about his faith. More of a passive relationship.
The leadership of the church we attended was mainly male, however, it seemed that the women of the church really ran it. I am saddened that men are not stepping up, but also bothered by women who want to rule the house or church.
Jesus is our example, He stood up to the iniquities firmly (money changers in the temple) and yet He was a gentle as a lamb.
The point I am trying to make is, If we want more men in church can we step back and let them be men and rule from behind them?
Well men are absent from the Church and the Leadership of there homes… And the Women are Leading in both Places…
But when the Women who are out there all work or are going to school being educated there Fathers even Godly Fathers are sending and encouraging them to go to School but I am not seeing these women once there out on there own and making there own decision and have there Careers don’t want to give up working to be the wives in there homes.
To stay home with the Children. Don’t want to Home school the Children. Don’t want to let the men Lead the home they want things to be done as people have commented “There way” and or if they do don’t want to follow the Hierarchy of God – Husband – Children the husband a lot of the time when the children come get cut out of that equation.
There are very few Single income Married households today and that I think is what is hurting the Way we teach and raise our Children for God Male and Female alike.
People like to have the nice things and go well we both have to work to make that happen but its the Family as whole who suffer for it… Women feel under appreciated and men always feel nagged and there often is not the Oneness that a married couple should feel when both parents work because both have there own sets of problems to deal with at home and at there respective work places.
The Children see the friction and the interactions that happen and then these are the lessons they learn and take with them into adulthood.
More men need to step up in the Church and in the Home….
But the home has to be setup in Gods Model first before we will see improvements for the Men to lead in there homes and in the Churchs…
My humble Opinion… Brother in Christ
Female, from South Africa but living in the States temporarily
I’m male and from Grand Rapids, Michigan
I am a Mother of two small children and although my husband does believe in the Lord, he does not attend church with us. I take the kids to church every Sunday, they go to a faith based preschool 2-3 days a week and I attend women’s bible study on Monday nights. I would really like to see my husband grow in the Lord and take is place in our home. Please pray for us!
Thank you for you blog!
Oh, I am from Klamath Falls, Oregon, USA
This ringing very true in my life…too true…I am a female in North Central PA…I come from a huge family and in 99 percent of the homes in my family the men stay home on Sundays (or work) and the women take the children to church…and the effects are being felt throughout the family!
I am female from California, USA. Blessings, Michele
female.
missouri, united states.
I am a female from England. Yes, the Church is devoid of men. But I believe that is changing – not as quickly as we would like but it is.
My husband does not go to Church as regularly as he should. I am responsible for taking the last 3 children (all boys). He was with me at Church when I was baptised, and though he cannot fully understand, he gives me support.
For all women who are worried that their husbands will not come to Church – God is good and faithful. My husband has agreed to come to the very first Church convention this month. God is changing him slowly – but the change is there.
Glory to God!!!
I’m a male from Oregon, USA.
I am a 42 year old mother of 5 (4 boys and my daughter). I live in the Rocky Mountians in Montana and been married for 15 years. I’m so grateful for you bringing up a good point…God has blessed me with great kids and it’s such an honor to be their Mom and be their spiritual guide, one I take very seriously! But yes, I feel the responsibility of leading them (even though my husband is a believer and reads God’s Word frequently). I know the power of the praying wife and Mom, and will continue! I have seen break through…
God Bless All!
In His Peace
Female, 18, from Washington State, United States of America
I would like the people here to remember me in their prayers. For the bible says the prayer of a righteous man prevents much. Even Peter did same by asking the brethren his brethren to pray on his behalf.
Thank you all!!!
Men don’t go to church because church is terrible. Why be brainwashed? People don’t need your god to be a good person.
I am 21 and from Texas (born and raised) i have an awesome husband, but i do take on the leadership role and it’s a battle especially knowing that i am to submit to my husband who wont lead me or guide me in the way of the lord. I would love to find some insight as to why men dont take on the spiritual role in today’s society. God Bless everyone and keep them safe.
i am female from Ghana-Africa. God bless u
Female,
Wickes, Arkansas, USA
I was the spiritual leader in my family/marriage for the first 15 years. Praying, teaching, attending worship and taking babies, and children to all worship services and Bible classes. When things started to fall apart in my unyoked marriage, God did a miracle, My husband not only became the spiritual leader in our family, he is now a minister of the gospel. Praise God.
In reading many of these, it does seem to be almost overwhelming. I was brought up in the church and became a Christian at a young age. However, I stopped going in college. At 30 years old, I married and my wife, who was not a Christian, began attending a local church. Long story short, she became a Christian. I am proud to say that, thanks to her love and prayers, I have re-dedicated my life and am now the spiritual leader of our household. While things seem bad, we serve a God that is in the miracle business.
Male from Spokane, WA….
Must say that if church weren’t geared so much for women you just might see more men take and interest! Read the book: Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow for some serious good and spot on advise to get men back in church!
Hey Mark, I am a man an ordained elder in the Church, and I also see the same thing about us men,and wonder where are the men in Gods church? I am also a husband and a father of 3 now adult children. I did my best, I believe to raise them in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God is calling for the men to step up and be real men and take dominion in there homes and in the house of God. If they want to be respected as real men, and of course they do, they must follow Christ who is the head of the church, and by following him he will also teach us how to lead our household. God bless You Mark I enjoy your Column.
I can relate exactly sir.
I am from Virginia and have found with the last 2 churches I have attented that the main leaders of the church are men. But in both cases they have put there wives mostly in charge. If your not one within the circle you are out. And that in both cases they choice what they want. What do they say if momma is not happy no one is happy. Looks like to me we have been taking back to the garden.
I would love for men to feel called and step up to the plate and be the spiritual leader of their family. This is the kind of man I sought out and the kind that all girls should!
Female-Nebraska USA
Male, 12 years old, from Boise, Idaho… It’s pretty surprising how many people see young Christ-followers as immature, and I’ve gotten in trouble more than once for trying to evangelize to my friends. Some ask “Where are all the men?” I ask, “Where are all the young ones?”
I believe men are little bit slower in responding to matters yet with the power that is invested in them they can change a whole lot of situations out there. This is just my personal opinion. I also noticed that once they become serious about seeking the Lord they move mountains. I believe the enemy made them to be slower because he knows if they take their rightful positions in the Lord; there will be hell to pay. We must pray hard for the men that the eyes of their understading is opened so that they can start to work. Nature is waiting eagerly for the manifestation of the sons of God. We are delaying nature.
I’m a female from South Africa and I couldn’t agree more with you! Men need to step up and take some responsibilty too!
Female
Brits
South Africa
Praying that the guy in my life will one day be our family’s Spititual Leader. Amen
I am a woman in N. California. I would also like to know why men attend church once they are married, but abstain from fellowship while they are single? Ironically, Christ was the ultimate bachelor, and Paul did a good job of it too (in addition to disciples of Jesus’ day). I am raising my son in church, but if he follows the trend, then I must pray and teach against this idea that the church is only interested/interesting for families.
As a single mother, I am not seeking a husband, but if God’s man come’s into my life I will not run from him either (hopefully). However, in order to be a good example of a Godly woman, and to show my son what dating should look like from a Christian standpoint, it would sure be nice if more single men were as devoted to fellowship as their single female counterparts.
I’m not saying that church should be a singles bar! But, a more versitile demographic would be nice.
There is a great resource for men on how to be the man God intended us to be. Biblicaly thought provoking material available, called Mens Fraternity by
Robert M. Lewis Come on men lets do and be what God wants us to be.
I’m female, from Southern Ohio.
Hi I am a man , 46 years old. I love God the father,Jesus the son ( God The Son), and the Holy Spirt ( God the Spirt). I try to do what is right, I fail if I try it on my own. Just thougt you would like to know their are more of us Christian men out there. Put your faith in God he has more of us 🙂
I’m a female from South Africa
I just read a book about this! It’s really good. It’s called “Why Men Hate Going To Church” by David Murrow. It was absolutely incredible. It opened my eyes to a lot of issues regarding men (or a lack thereof) in the modern church. You HAVE to check it out!!
Female from North Carolina United States
I’m a female from Texas. In the two churches I have been a member of both of them (as far as the church goers) were predominantly female. While all of the church positions (i.e. pastor, associate pastor, youth minister, music minister, and deacons were solely males)
Hi Mark,
I;m a 40something guy from Dallas, TX serving with WBT.
Heard about you at WWSE last fall. One statistical factor you may need to take into consideration regarding men, women, and FB is frequency of FB. The population might be relatively similar, but how frequently do men visit FB in comparison to women? What is men’s average time of useage?
Do some of the same ideas from “Why Men Hate Going to Church” Hold True for FB? Are we focusing too much on issues that are of low relevance to men? Are we too focused on the affective domain?
Female from Atlanta, Georgia, USA. Blessings!
I am female from Texas.
I am a female and I live in Delaware……
I agree with you that men need to step up take the spiritual lead with the family. I have a son, and 2 step children and it is always left to me to take the kids to church. I love it that the kids love to go to church and they are very curious and ask alot of questions…..
I really enjoyed this article..I am a woman married to a man who doesnt believe in Church..He believes in Jesus and everything else but doesnt like church and has made it abundantly clear that he will never set foot in church again..It took all I could to get him to my baptism. There arent enough men in church and I struggle everyday cause I am the only person in my family who goes to church and sets any example for my one year old son, John. All I can do is pray and pray for my Husband to come around and have a softer heart and maybe come to church and get baptized so we can spend eternity with each other. Thanks for your article.
I am from Dodge City, Kansas, U.S.A… Raised my 25 year old daughter as a single parent … according to God’s desire and commandments. I read/reflect on ‘Journey Deeper’ message daily. And, everytime seems as though I take it personal. Sooo, keep preaching, Mark Brown, because I keep listening.
I am a husband and father to 2 girls and i believe it is time for men to stand up and take on their spiritual role in their home, church and community.As God ordained it to be.
Im am an 18 yr old male from Texas, USA. Ive been following your posts since you had still had them on the facebook page, and I really appreciate this blog. it is a great way for me to have a godly mindset at the end of the day. Glory be to God!
A male from Vail, Arizona USA
I’m a teen male and from the Washington, DC area. I felt a connection because you said you feel you are lacking in helping your childrens faith. I do not have children, but similarly with some of my close friends who are developing in their faith I could just talk about dumb stuff but I realized from a lesson by my youth minister that I shoudnt be wasting my time, so now I always talk about God and Scripture with my friends. I always relate things to how the Bible explains them and that I believe it is the right way to go through things. Helping build the faith of my friends is very important to me because I know God wants me to spread what I learn and i help my friends realize how great God really is. some friends i’ve reached farther but some ive moved backwards. it’s hard convincing a teenager to not go down the easy path of living like most other teenagers but God is working and I know it and I also pray I have Gods approval and that he would show me the way he wants me to connect with them and they can trust me and I can slowly feed them more and more information about living a glorious Christian life, and share experienced about how wonderful it is.
I hope this was moderately helpful and seeing as I’m a teenager I know a lot of people pull away from God in these years and in college so helping your kids building a strong faith while young and extending into teen years will set a strong path for a lifetime, after all childhood is most important because that is where children believe everything, catch them before they discover doubt, I know God is with you so you’ll always have support no matter how hard kids may be to deal with in helping their faith or life or general.
Just this week my eyes have really been opened to see how much people are doing around me. I wanted to try and put others before myself and as a result I saw many examples of people doing that to me, and I also realized in many regards how blessed I am and continue being grateful and thanking God for all He has given to me and the people around me. one thing I am now very thankful for is my youth minister and my assisstant youth minister. they are both male. we also have a woman to help out which is the youth ministers wife. so seeing this I realized how blessed I am to have two male Christian leaders. I am a teen male myself and they have helped me tremendously and taught me so much. some of the other teen guys in my youth group are in a group with me led by the assisstant youth minister, it’s an all guys group. and it’s very personal and there is trust and accountability and I am truly thankful for having other men my age to grow in faith with and also to have a mentor help us all.
Our youth group is great and I feel truly blessed, thanks for reminding me!
I am a female from Trumann AR
Hi,am a man from Kenya,currently in Gulf,i love God.
I’m looking forward to reading more on your site.the LORD is who makes life worth living.
I was very fortunate to have a lot of great footsteps to fill. My grandfather 92 was a deacon and wonderful anchor of the family. My father a deacon and powerful man that led our family even though he died at 49. I have been involved in a very large and fast growing and changing church. There is about a 40/60 split in our church and I see a lot of older men still involved but the number seems much smaller in the younger group than earlier. I have been involved since the age of 10 in our church. I have been fortunate to have 4 very stong men as Pastors and Leaders of this church. I have watched men move from this church because of pride or egos. It is still growing and we have a strong passionate leader now in John Avant whom I feel is a real man and leads in a strong way that helps men to be involved. The whole world is short of real men that stand for what is right and will stand for strong family values. I dont need the church to get me into heaven but it sure gives me a foundation and place of study and refuge. I hope to fill the shoes of my powerful father and his father by being to my young son and daughter what they were for me. I am not sure if I had not had their leadership and disipline that I would be where I am today. I also had a very long background of strong women in my life. My grandmothers and mother were half of the men that led me to this place. I am married to a wonderful wife that is trying to make me more than half a man. What a blessing in life I have had and continue to recieve. We are a nation that has lost it leadership and patriots and must come full circle and return to our beliefs and constitution in my humble opinion. I continue to fail daily as a Godly man but was blessed and hope to leave a legacy in my children and friends that my forefathers have left in me. I feel you cannot pay back what someone has left you but you must take it upon yourself to share it with others and pay it forward as a movie I once saw. I agree with a lot of the comments about the church and its direction from its leaders. We have let the church become more changed by the world and media. I have a watched as preachers and politicians have made this world worse in someways but it will take real men to move it back in the right direction. Most men get even with a church by leaving mad and I try to stop complaining and get involved. Thanks Mark for such a wonderful sight. I dont think your sight should cause men pressure as the church meeting place does and I feel it should have more men involvement. I have a very stressful job as a Veterinarian with long hours that I actually love and it would be easy to stay at home on any Sunday if my job doesn’t pull me away. Look at our World Leaders and Community Leaders and you will find half of the problem because you would have a hard time mashing them all together and forming one strong man. Look at our thought of heros and you find atheletes and other weak men. Our next generation of leaders have to be taught by someone and real men need to stand up and give their all. No one to blame but ourselves. So real men get involved in our God, World, Family, Community and Church and make a change please. If you fail get up and make another difference. I still recieve letters from young men that my father mentored and changed their lives. I hope to oneday fill those large shoes of my forefathers. Thanks again Mark.
My name is Aaron, a film student from Northern Ireland.
My church would have a balanced amount of men and women involved in leadership. However the Womans’ meeting held twice a month seem to have considerably more numbers than the men would have at their meeting.
God Bless
Aaron
Female from Minnesota, USA
Female and from Germany
My name is Rafaella, I’m a female and I’m from Framingham-Massachusetts. I really like what you saying about “where are the men??? Because in my church is the something women do more than men in every aspect involve church. I hope men would do more but I don’t what happen with them, they let the women take charge, and it is not right I know that, it is not what God left for us. I don’t know, I pray to God
a lot to Him change this men.
God bless you and your family!!!!
Praise the Lord!!!
I liked your comments and agree. We have a new Pastor who has been saying the same thing. My question is how exactly to open that type of dialogue with a 15 year old boy who wants to talk about video games instead.
I am female and from Ohio!
female from Canada, weary of being the leader in our household.
I am a 16 year old girl in Ohio and I really like getting your encouraging and thoughtful emails, Mark! You make a lot of things more clearer when they seem a bit confusing in the Bible. Keep being a vessel for Christ! 🙂
I am from Michigan and I can definitely relate to this observation. As a single female I am waiting on the man God has created to be my husband. Looking at the population of men that are close to my age and actually walking out (living) God’s word; the reality leaves much to be desired.
am male from Lagos, Nigeria!
I’m male, married and a dad of a 1 yr old boy.
I’m no longer involved in volunteer minisry, but I take my role as husband father and leader at home spiritually. My boy is going to know that Jesus is the way by my example, the Lord helping.
I am female, from the state of Colorado in the USA.
Female, from Jos, Nigeria
I do not go to church cause I am atheist
I am 32 married and live in Oregon, USA
im a happily married Tennessee man!! GOD bless!!
male; Hornell, NY USA
I am a female in Picayune, Mississippi.
i am a female living in Mississippi, USA
I’m a male. Happily married and Love Jesus. My view is that men don’t know how to be men anymore. They struggle with leading spiritually because they also struggle with leading in every other aspect of their life. The feminist movement has confused the way men are wired. As a result, men have become lazy, waiting on the next instruction from their female counterparts, trying to avoid conflict by stepping down instead of stepping up.
I am a male from Nagaland,India.
MALE. from philippines. 😀
Female from Queensland Australia. I have home schooled two daughters from year 1-12 and am now doing the same with my 3rd(a son). My daughters have found the same in our church. certainly not enough Christian males to go around. Thankyou for your perseverence in writing this. I look forward to it on a daily basis. be blessed
STOP BASHING THE MEN! read “Why Men Hate Going To Church by David Murrow! Men raised in church are used to its feminine slant, so we just keep telling our men to step up! but if we are to reach those outside, we must recover the masculine style of Jesus ministry! Jesus taught while hiking outdoors, not in a classroom! Jesus sent His disciples on daring missions, not contemplative retreats! Jesus used stories of real world, and with intrigue and adventure! He never held little lambs! Look at the churches who have a high % of men, ( less liturgical, mega churches,, etc )and you will see they are less about domestication and more about Mission! less words, more visual! Worship songs of sacrifice and Glory , not breathy ballads of neediness! when a man steps up to lead, let him lead the group OUT into risk, purpose, and adventure, not into more “be a good little boy for Jesus!” please read the book by Murrow! many Godly men are waiting to be allowed into our churches in a masculine way!
about my last comment..I am a 47 year old male in Long Beach, California who has served God with all my heart for over 20 years, and I have a passion for reaching men who believe in God but can’t find a place in the church.
Male, 21. Cheney, Washington.
How our men have hurt us by not being what they should be! If they would stand strong following God, depending on God instead of themselves what God could do if they just allowed it! (Not that God,cannot do it any way he chooses but he desires our cooperation most of the time!) Men are mostly unwilling to evaluate themselves, their lives or what they do! They are unwilling to face their feelings, weakness, flaws, or inadaquacies. Why? Because they are too busy being strong, & tough, a person who is complete & needs no help. That is what they, or society has defined what a man is!
It is like only having half the picture we are all incomplete without God! They have tried to fill the place where God should be with everything but God! They are too busy getting what they want or doing what they want at the expence of the women & children in their lives! They have the power as Men, as heads of there families & homes and one day will answer for there use of it! How did it benifit those in their lives or how it hurt them!
Men still are defined more by our culture or society & there own expectations & desires, than a desire to please God! If they would just turn to His Word, & DO what it says we would have more Godly men in our lives! With “Gods Word” as the basis, the principals & truths change our men into His likeness. Truthfully as a woman I have struggled with the lack of character & selfish & self-centered motives in men! We need men, with Good strong Godly character! A woman can love a man inspite of his flaws, yet suffer terriabily because of them! We want Good Godly Men that are allowing God to form them into better men! The molding procrss can be a struggle & even a bit painful, but worth it! Desiring to please God should be our greatest desire something we want our men to do! We desire our men to have a desire to seek GOD with ALL their hearts! (And truely unselfishly love us!)
I am a teen female from Wisconsin, USA. I love receiving your emails! ♥ God bless!
Triva Questions (from the Bible): 1. What is your deffintion of God (from the Bible)? 2. Is God right handed or left handed (from the Bible)? I have more, I don’t want to overlaod you. I will send you the answers after you send me yours… Dusty
Male, USA ,Virgina
Male, London, UK
I am a female from Louisiana! I would just like to pray for guidance from God!! There are a few situations that I need his help with- Because before I was not a Christian and I did everything on my own and without the Lord’s help; So I am praying for God to just help me out with the decisions in life that I am facing because for me its really big decisions!!!
Maybe someone could help me out here! I’ve been in an adulterous marriage for some time now; the cheating has been from both parties. I am in church now, trying to get my behalf to come with me and it happens sometimes. So a problem that i have is a person that I was seeing while me and my behalf were seperated- Now I can’t get that person out of my mind and out of my heart! I’ve been praying for God to just show me what I need to do and I know he will but maybe I just need help????
I am a female from United States of America
You hit the nail on the head! I’m a mom of 2 boys living in Chicago. I am “unequally yoked” so for me, it is MY job to “train up” my children. Despite some pretty significant obstacles my posed by my husband, seeds are definitely beginning to sprout in my kids! Praise Him!
My issue is trying to help my boys grow spiritually realizing that Christianity is not just a “woman” thing, but it is indeed hard. I say this with much love and respect, but men really to need to step up and lead. And there are young boys like mine who would really benefit from some Christian male mentoring.
Thanks for addressing this important issue.
Pastor Mark, if you can makes sense of all of these comments it wouldbe very helpful for you to post a summary of sorts so we can see what people seem to be saying.
I don’t think the men who complain that the church has been “sissified” should expect the church to be created in their image, to cater to them, if you will. One commentor very aptly pointed out that when we win the men, we often win the whole family, but if we focus on youth or on women, the men do not necessarily follow. I agree with that focus and there should be more retreats that call men out to be their best masculine selves, but honestly, if the men are not even in the pews worshipping next to their wives, do you really expect the church to woo you back with macho retreats? The church is first and foremost a place to bend the knee and worship God. I’ve gone to churches that didn’t have a great Jr. High program for my son or a special group addressing the needs of “unequally yokes” wives. My “needs” were not always met in full at every church I’ve attended, but at the end of the day, it’s really not about US. You just go because He is our Lord and deserves our worship. It’s an act of submission, humilty and obedience and if that seems “sissy” to some, that’s unfortunate.
Female from Western Australia but currently residing in Slough, England.
female from Florida and i have four kids the same exact age as you! awesome!
Female from USA
I am a 33 year old male from Sulphur, Louisiana, USA.
We, how do not have small children need to pray for those small children around the world, how will be GOD’S army in the end times. To raise them up with our prayers so that thy be super strong worriers and to know how to use there Spiritual weapons that we received from GOD
Am a female from Kenya
Female from Belleville, Ontario CANADA
Male, United States of America
I’m a female from Oxford, Kansas
Hello everyone! I’m a female and I love Rev. Brown’s teachings! He makes it plain and practical. Plz stay blesst and may God bless u and keep u!
I am female, bless you for responding to heart of God. Let the children come to me.
Male, from Southern California, US.
male. washington, united states
I am a female from Trinidad and I agree with what you said there aren’t enough males in the church
i believe that both men and women need to take the lead in church; i don’t believe in male headship of any kind! both men and women are spiritual, and their gifts should be culitvated — not by gender, but by talent.
That would be fine, except it’s clearly un-Biblical. God prescribed a system of headship with authority and submission within His church and family here on earth, as surely as it is within the Trinity itself. Yes, women are spiritual and our gifts ought to be cultivated – but ONLY within our Biblical role as helpers. Anything else is shameful and causes dissension and hardship in the Church and in our families.
I am male from Tennessee.
Thank you for your thought-provoking blog. Could the discrepancy in the numbers of men and women in the church be due to our natural roles as leaders (men) and supporters (women)? Consider: wherever a husband leads his family, whether it’s to church or anywhere else, his wife’s natural role is to follow. Hence the married men you find at church are almost always accompanied by their wives.
However, when a wife takes the lead to attend church, the husband is put in the role of following her. That’s an uncomfortable and unnatural position for the husband to be in. Maybe she would like him to step up and lead, but since she’s the one who got the idea to attend first, she’s inherently the leader, pulling him along as the follower.
It’s an unnatural role for both of them. If the husband is not more convicted in his beliefs than his wife, he will always feel like the follower, emasculated by the whole event. So instead he chooses not to participate.
From a female in South Florida:
I know this topic is over (and I could get flack for saying this) but Jill and Jessica are right. When women take over in leadership positions, at church or at home because, no one else seems to be doing it, the men let them. This “taking over” hinders men from leading because they see someone else doing their role (God ordained I might add). Also, it’s intimidating for them, they consider it risky to lead certain women.
It seems to me if women really want men to lead them, they need to step back and start waiting on the Lord and praying for Him to raise up godly men in their midst. And women need to be supportive, encouraging and not critical when the Lord provides these male leaders. This would also give the world an authentic, Biblical view of the nature and character of God.
Female, from Montana USA
God Bless Mark, I enjoy reading your email, dont get to church much, so this is great for me. I enjoy reading all these comments too and prayers for you all.
Hi. I am 62 this year and am married for 38 years this year. My wife is not doing well and I will be looking for what God has for me and I saw this so I will write and see if I can start seeing who will be next for me. I am a true believer in Christ live by the Word I go to a Bible believing church. We have NO children and I do not want any in my next wife’s life as well. The talk is where are the men, I will see if the women will be any better when I get this out.
hello i am a female 51 years old and i live in New Haven CT
I’m a man from California in the States.