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How to deal with rude people

February 8, 2010

Luke 6:27: ‘But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.’

I had intended to reflect on way more Scripture than this, but I couldn’t get past verse 27! What a seriously powerful message!!

Recently someone I hardly know was unbelievably rude to me, and my initial reaction was to get angry and upset, and try and work out a way of getting back at them. My reaction certainly wasn’t to love them and be nice to them – and this is why this reading is so tremendously challenging.

Enemies in the greek is those who are rude and hostile towards us, people who for whatever reason treat us badly. And rather than lash out Jesus challenges us to respond in a completely different way. The first word is Love which in the greek is agapao and literally means to have generous concern for, to value and esteem, to be faithful towards and delight in. And then there is good which in the greek is kalos and refers to speaking well of someone, praising and applauding them.

So if someone is rude to me or treats me badly Jesus is saying that I am to treat them with considerable respect like they are a close special friend or dear family member… wow. I read the Bible and God is forming me, smoothing out my rough edges.. and now I am ready to love my enemy and do good to them. This is nothing short of stunning.

Is it just me or does this Scripture challenge you?

God bless ya!

Mark

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159 Comments
  1. Julie permalink

    This is a challenging scripture. Just yesterday I had a customer to get rude with me because it was taking alittle longer to check her out at the checkouts. I apologized twice be she still seemed to be agitated. I got alittle upset but God told me not to worry. It will be alright. I am so thankful for a God that has control over everything.

    • WOW!! i just had that problem yesterday.. and it wasnt an enemy it was a fellow christian! What do you do with that? i certainly did not want to love them, i felt like they are fellow christians and they treat others like this? WHY? And its still going on! I have been trying so hard to just leave it at jesus feet. But its much harder to do then say! I must let it go and love them no matter what! And this scripture is what God was trying to tell me all day yesterday but i was so hurt i couldnt hear HIM! WOW!! thank you! Your entries have helped me, and most of the time its something related to that day! God Bless!

    • Glenda Cox permalink

      This really spoke to me today… there was a misunderstanding I had with someone last week…they came today to get it resolved…hopefully now everything is OK…just pray for me….Thanks so much..

    • nan nan permalink

      Not to any one in particular, just a thought, how far do you let people be rude to you.. I mean at what point do you draw the line, and not allow people to walk all over you. I do not think that Jesus would want us to allow people to take advantage of us and not stand up for ourselves either..

      • Marie permalink

        I have been trying to fiqure out myself when enough is enough with dealing with certain people..Please let me know if you find the answer to this question..

      • Lorrie permalink

        You can defend yourself, but politely. He’s not saying to endure abuse. He’s stating that we are responsible for our reactions and to do so in a loving manner.

      • Christie permalink

        5 years ago I decided to let go of hard critical people in my life, my mother and my favored brother. I still love them and pray for them but God directed me to remove these people because they were controlling my life! For my whole life!! As a 40 year old I decided it was time to take care of me and my children and trust God on this one! It was the best decision of my life! The first scripture revealed to me and that is Psalms 27:10. It was a huge eye opener that God was in control. I do believe there is a time when enough is enough!!! It doesn’t mean its easy or that I hate them..no it was really hard at first and I had to learn to forgive them. But since I made the decision God has shown me love through other people in ways I did not know were possible. These people love me more than my mother ever did. She lives in her past and in her pain I cannot change that. But I can have a good life and move on and allow God to work in both our hearts. I know I made the right decision and I trust my heavenly father and his love is all I need! May God Bless you…..

      • I agree that we should not allow people to walk on us. One time I was in line and the cashier was cranky to a customer. A priest was in front of me. When he was rang up he talked to the cashier in a kind manner, saying something about “tough day? ” or something. It was more his manner and understanding that the words he said I think. Her attitude completey changed with his kind words. I often think of that incident when I get a cranky cashier.

      • Lone Star Buckeye permalink

        I was on a church single’s site a few years (where I met my wonderful husband) and there were rude people on there who had a tendency to say and do things they shouldn’t. I responded with a firm answer but did it in a kind way to let them know my point of view and I backed the majority of my comments with scripture. I had a woman tell me later when we met in person that she loved the way I responded to people because I didn’t back down, I did it so it was “kindness with a bite” ~ lol I got along with the majority of people there…except the self centered and thankfully, there weren’t many of those. One doesn’t have to let people walk on them but it is important that no matter how you respond, you do it with a calm, firm voice and do it out of love not anger. And always read your messages (when in print) and try to see it the way others will take it… think outside the box.

        I used to take police reports over the phone at a large police department in OH (I was a civilian) and learned techniques to sooth those who called in. I would say 95% of those agitated when they called in saw I was trying to help as I gave them advice, what I could, and many were laughing with me by the time we got off the phone and thanked me… several called the Sgt in Patrol and filed compliments, which I always appreciated. Then I had the 5% that no matter what I or the officers did on the street, they were never happy or satisfied. I try to consider what made them that way and work with it but many are so toxic, they don’t even realize it. I had a family member like that and she led a sad, lonely life the last few years of her life and she didn’t have to, she chose to because she refused to take loving criticism when it was given to her.

        God bless

      • Christyl permalink

        Jesus went all the way to the cross

      • I like that going though somewhat the same thing.have a bless day.

      • Wise and Humble permalink

        I have allowed many and plenty of people to take adavantage of me. In Eccl. the speaker lets us know there is a time for everything. So i do agree that GOD would allow us to take up for ourselves in a righteously indignant way when we are suppose to.

      • Tina permalink

        490 times
        7 x 70 don’t know if that is daily or that is it in a life time.

    • Kim permalink

      Julie, I have worked in the public many times and I know how those rude customers can be. I always acted out of kindness and like you apologized many times. I have also heard that little voice telling me everything would be alright. I have also noticed that when that rude customer realizes that they cannot make you angry they seem to quiten a little (although angry) if we just keep being polite in our response there is nothing they can do. I have had some come back and apologize to me for being so rude or mean. They have had stories of why they were so aggrivated, and I realize that sometimes we don’t know what that person has had to endure before they got into our checkout line. Just our kindness can make a world of difference when we show the love of Jesus, instead of the worldly reaction they expect us to give. They are usually looking for a fight and when they can’t find one in us, it shows that agape love Jesus has taught for all these years. When that happens the battle is won. We always win in Christ!

    • Brandi permalink

      Julie!

      I wanted to encourage you! I used to be one of those customers who would stamp her foot on the ground agitatedly as I waited for people to move through the line. Be encouraged!! It is really not a huge deal and as long as you are doing all you can to quickly move people along you have to just give people like that to God. Pray for them!! Do you job as unto the Lord and it will all be blessed!

    • Michelle permalink

      I live wth someone lke that and my mantra is overcome evil with good and the passage you mentoned , to love your enemies, do good to them, pray for those that desptefully use you. Not easy at all, true lessons in crucifixon of the flesh which wants to exact revenge and take back a pound of flesh from your enemy, but we have to be stronger and contnue to grow n grace and love.

  2. Jamie permalink

    Yes Mark it is challenging, althoug I sleep better when I am not Beefing with people, But what do you do when you have tried to get along with a person that you just cant seem to see eye to eye. For example this girl I tried to get along with and it did not work meaning we just cant be close friends, I am not rude to her I am cival when we are around each other.

    Jamie Allen
    Trying to walk closer with the Lord.

  3. Annie permalink

    Amazingly I have found in the past few weeks that you become almost numb to a persons false accusations and attacks, when you know that God has a purpose for you in it and the fight is against evil attacks. It is like you look at this person and you feel sorry for her that she does not even realise how the devil works through her. Her attacks does not even make sense and the attitude is not even logical. We serve a great God and I love Him very much.

  4. Mack Leggett permalink

    It certainly challenges me! I have some hard paths of the past that keep lingering. God is working in my life; but the edges still prick within. Pray that I will be able to overcome.

    • Gavin B. permalink

      Mack,
      On of the ‘ah ha’ things I learned just recently is that we’ll get a quicker result when we pray for something once, and from then on, pray in thanks [as in 1 Cor. 15:57 and 2 Cor. 2:14] that we have received what we asked for – even if the physical world doesn’t line up with what we’re thanking God for. This demonstrates our faith that “… all the promises of God in Him [like those in Mark 23-24] are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.” (2 Cor. 1:20 – NKJV). God bless!

  5. MARILYN TURNER permalink

    YES,IT DOES CHALLENGE YOU THIS IS WHERE YOUR GROWTH IN THE LORD COMES,IN WHEN YOU HAVE TOO TURN THE OTHER CHEEK, OR HEAR AND DON’T HEAR.THE WORDS,WORKS OF THE ENEMIE. LOVE THE ONE WHO HATES YOU.AND SEE GOD WORK IN YOUR LIFE.THAT’S THE GOOD PART RECIVING A CROWN @THE END!!

  6. Angela permalink

    It is very hard to love enemy (yourfamily who are in touch with you every day: grown-up children, grandchildren, sisters or a a dear family member ) when they are rude and hostile to you but “I can do it through Christ” I remember that and I ask The Holy Spirit to help me to be a lovely person and do good things to them. : It is not easy for me so I have to pray and pray over and over till I am able to do it. since God forgave me in Christ I must forvige too. Que el Señor te siga bendiciendo y usando grande y poderosamente. Please keep my country Venezuela) in your prayer ,

    • Lone Star Buckeye permalink

      Praying for you Angela and hope all will go well for you.

      God bless

  7. Donna permalink

    This will take a lot of practice for me. Maybe if I only consider that this person/persons are having some real issues to deal with in their own life that I am not aware of and pray for them, then I believe this will help me along. Just a thought.

  8. Meagan permalink

    This is super challenging – because my enemy lately has been my MOM! Please pray that we can come to an agreement and that she can calm down about my personal decisions. Thank you. GOD Bless!

    • isabelle barnes-berutto permalink

      Reading your note about you and your mom gave me much to remember about my mother. My mother was a nazi which made my life very unhappy we disagreed on everything, even though I still gave, showed love to her my mother forgot I was still her daughter and became my worst enemy because of what she believed in, she passed away 3 yrs ago without ever working this out.I hope all will work out for you.

    • Sheryl permalink

      Hi Meagan! I will pray for you, because I know what that is like~ I am dealing with the same thing. My mother has always been ultra controlling, and her sharp tongue has cost her relationships with 4 of her grandchildren and their parents. Now I find one of my son’s and my own self in the path of her harsh criticism and judgmental attitudes. She will not own any fault, it is everyone else’s fault. I find myself either walking on eggshells, or totally withdrawing from her. This verse Mark discussed today really goes a long way in helping to bolster me up in this situation. Even though it presents great challenge, I am comforted to read what God wants me to do. I wish you well, and hope you too will take comfort in The Word. Sheryl

    • Lone Star Buckeye permalink

      I had problems with my mother when I was younger and thought I had all the answers but admit that as I got older, I could see the wisdom of where my mother was coming from when we disagreed on things. She only said the things she did because of her love and concern for me and the fact she didn’t want me to make some of the mistakes she did when she was younger. But with all the mistakes my brothers and I did make, mom had still instilled a great deal of common sense in us and as we got older, we became wiser through our mistakes. My only advice is not to “react” to what she says until you really think about why she gives you the advice she does. If she didn’t love you, she wouldn’t say anything to you at all 🙂 We all have knowledge of some kind or another but WISDOM comes from experience and age… problem is, when I was younger, I couldn’t see or understand that.

      Mom and I grew closer as I got older and she was my best friend and now I wish she was here with me so I could talk with her and share things with her like we did for years but especially so she could meet and love the man I married later in life. She died 23 years ago March 1st when she was only 63 and I miss her as much today as I did the day she died. Treasure your moments and do all you can to show your love… and you always, always say…. “I love you” when you part and especially after you have had a strong disagreement… swallow your pride so your last words will always be one of love and not regret (not my case but it happened to my cousin).

      God bless

  9. Hi Mark,
    Wow this is a challenge. I received a very condeming letter today from my exhusbands new wife re my parenting of one of my sons. This really hurt and I have to be honest did not feel or express any love for her or him………..quiet the opposite!!!! However can see if we do as God commands life will be better for us compared to our enemies.

    Thanks for these words

    ANDREA

    • NeenerPants permalink

      Andrea –
      Your humility is encouraging. Press on, Sister. God’s purpose in having us return blessing for insult – is for OUR own benefit, as well as for the benefit of others. Beyond that – it makes us much more effective Ambassadors for HIM. He loves you, and He is good. Sometimes, that’s the only thing you can cling to.
      Blessings to you!

  10. Enid permalink

    This has been an ongoing trial for me, as I work with 3 co-workers who seem to dedicate their time to trying to aggravate other’s live. The worst part of this is that one of them claims to be a Christian but is not giving testimony to the fact by her actions…I have had to pray very hard for the Lord to help me with this situation. I changed my prayer from “Lord change, these people” to “Lord please change me”. My willingness to submit myself and God’s faithfulness have helped me to try and show love, mercy and forgiveness, even in the times where I feel I won’t be able to do so…

    God Bless…

  11. Dee permalink

    What a challenging scripture. I can’t say that I haven’t been rude back to someone who has been rude to me but I do believe the true test is to be able to walk away and not be affected or “infected” by someone else’s behavior. It’s their issue not mine. I have to remember that when I’m in the heat of the moment because my natural inclination is to defend myself but that’s kind of silly when I think about it.

  12. Jenni permalink

    I’m thankful that I received this word today. I believe our enemies help strengthen our compassion, tolerance and patience and it takes a lot of practice and mental discipline to not get angry or hurt. Thanks again and God Bless you and also everyone reading this word today.

  13. Darlene permalink

    Woo Is ME ! What a challange of command, to love and treat others the way you want to be treated. Like you, Mark, my first reactive thought is to give’em a 1,2,3~~thump between the eyes, just to get their attention of how rude and hateful my family are, not just me, but to others. It’s imbarrassing and humiliating to say the least. But I know, if God is for me, then who can be against me? So as I trun away to go seek the Lord help, to deal with the pain, disappointment, anger, humilation, all sad emotional feelings. He shadows me with all the comfort, love, joy and peace, to deal with them in a way, that I could never do without Him. He reminds me of who I am in Christ Jesus. So there is no excuse, but to love and forgive and continue to do good by everyone. Let us continue to seek the Lord in all His ways and plans for our lives. May the Holy Spirit continue to help us, deal with the hard hearted and un~lovely. Have to remember they are lost without, Jesus Christ. I pray for His will to be done in their lives. Mine also. Amen and Amen
    Keep Smiling, it will make everyone all wonder what your up to.. lol when they ask, tell them “” JUST THINKING OF JESUS CHRIST “””
    Have a blessed day in the Lord your God, Rev.Mark and all the people reading and sharing in Journey Deeper Into God’s Word !

  14. nan nan permalink

    This can be one of the most challenging scriptures, one I battle with on a daily basis. I have a sister that is bipolar and she really feels that she is a victim and anything I do or say to her is automatically taken in the worst way. I have tried being kind and loving to her only to be accused of trying to manipulate her. I have prayed to God just to help me not to say anything to her as she can make a fight out of anything I say.. I have noticed that when I dont fight back with her, she loses steam and will be calm for awhile. I just have to remember not to give back to her all she is dealing out. God has given me the strength to do that, and to not take personally the things she says to me.

  15. Marilyn permalink

    H Mark, certainly is a challenge and something I battle to do at times. But we press on, thank You Lord that Your grace is so much bigger!

  16. Juliette permalink

    Yes this is challenging. I never looked at that scripture like that. Thank you for opening my eyes and showing me I still have some growing to do.
    I lost a job in June of last year and those responsible were suppose to be friends. That’s what hurt so badly. However God has made ways for my family that have been incredible! He has been so faithful. Still I have some work to do. Thank you for sharing this passage today!

  17. Jo Heatley permalink

    Hi Mark

    This scripture is soooo challenging!!!
    All I can say is I,m so thankfull to the Holy Spirit for guarding my tongue in severe provocation , for giving me reassurance that He is always there with me and helping me to act in a way that is pleasing to Him!
    Without Him I would find it impossible to love my enemies.
    I guess anyone can love someone being nice to them, by loving our enemies we show that we are different. It is a powerful witness.
    Thank you Lord for your love and patience and for smoothing my rough edges and keeping my path straight. x x

  18. well it is hard to be nice to someone who is mean to people like there are cashier in stores that are not nice and i always smile at them sometimes it makes them smile back it help to see a smile i was told as a child that when you smile the world smile with you well it true in some cases but not all i find praying before i leave the house and ask god to help me to let my light shine for the kingdom help me not be like the world is well it is true that it’s not something we can do on our own we need god help to do so that’s why we should always pray for god to help us in our everyday life thank”s and god bless you and yours in jesus name cecil and jason the burdette brothers

  19. To Challenge(verb form): to dispute the truth or validity of … //
    Yes Mark, this text disputes the “truth” that was at work with in me by giving me the truth in Christ. If He had not done it …I know I would be reasoning this text out with greater volume. As it is…I Yield…Smiles. Thanks for “challenging” me today.
    Ray

  20. Pam Dye permalink

    Amen, and we are to be an example to the world holding back anger that can take over…. but think of the ones who don’t know Jesus. The song comes to mind, “here am I” by Mercy Me. Some have never been told the name of Jesus or have chosen to not let Him in or to even ‘believe’. They are the lost, the ones who need us to show them that No matter what, we can trust God and depend on Him and show us the way to freedom of our bad behaviors and ‘How’ to Love and Forgive, even those who hurt us in some way. Like the song lyrics in ‘Here am I’ send me. We are all in a different place as we grow spiritually as we are in age groups growing up as a child and it takes ‘Staying in the Word of God’ to grow. I hope I can have the chance as many times as possible in my lifetime to tell someone about Jesus and this persons life will turn around. What could be more fulfilling?!! Praise God!!! “Here Am I”

  21. Joyce Kesterman permalink

    Hi Mark,
    God desires that we love as He loves and forgive as He forgives. I think that This is the most important gift that He gives us. (other than salvation) And, I know that God only desires what is best for each of us… so when we love,forgive, turn the other cheek, etc. it is for OUR good more than the person we are loving or forgiving. I hope and pray that I will keep growing in that area and will someday be able to more fully understand that kind of love and forgiveness.
    God bless and keep you and your family safe.

  22. Joyce,
    Thank you for that uplifting. A problem I have with rude people is when they profess to be Christians and act that way. I can ‘almost’ excuse those that are not saved and may not know better-but CHRISTIANS??!! I have a real problem with. Pray for me. God bless!

  23. There is no better way of dealing with rude people than ignoring them through a much misunderstood rhetorical question, “My God, my God, why did you abandon me?” (Matt. 27:46)

  24. Evelyn permalink

    Roman 16:17) I urge you, my brothers: watch out for those who cause divisions and upset people’s faith and go against the teaching which you have received. Keep away from them!
    Good News.

    A lot of mocking going on these days.

    • Amen. I have come across a lot atheists over the Web, and I must say, they’re really annoying. 😦 Do we have to argue with these people? Because no matter what we believers tell them, they insist on imposing their atheism. My consolation is that God is gonna judge them someday, and that day is near. 🙂

      • Worse than that are foolish or false Christians that damn you for speaking the truth of the Gospel! I expect as much from those who say they don’t believe, but the mean-spiritedness and negativity of some professing Christians when they chafe at the real Gospel is astounding!

        What a great post and a wonderful blog!

        I am so glad I found it.

        Lord bless

  25. Alana permalink

    This blog has incrediably touched my life….it seems like everyday when I read it, it is the PERFECT thing I need to here. I feel as if these are personal messages from God to ME!! I was challenged by this very thing this morning and then I open my email….and here it is!! Thank you so much Rev. Brown!!

    Alana

  26. Gina Wright permalink

    This definitely does challenge me and I have to say that I don’t always follow it. When I was 6 months pregnant with my now 3 1/2 yr old daughter, I went home to find out that her father had moved out without telling me. He just abandoned us. I had no idea how to contact him except through his work. Even then, he refused to call back. Whatever happened to make him do something that drastic, was still wrong, in my mind, to abandon an unborn child. To this day, I find it difficult to even talk to him, but I do. I am very pleasant and fair with him because I know that is what God wants me to do and my daughter deserves it. People ask me constantly, “How can you be nice to him?!” I just answer, “Because God tells me to.” It is hard! I have to pray every time I know I am going to see this person. But God is there with me and we make it through.

    • NANCI BROCKETT permalink

      Wow!! Gina, You have been through a rough time! and You realized that God is always there with you. and you rough it out. for the love of your daughter and the Our Lord Jesus. and He blesses you for that . and other people see you carring that out. hope all is fine with you and your daughter.

    • That’s amazing how you can still be nice to him! It upset me that he abandoned you without any reason. That’s just ridiculous!

  27. elodie M. permalink

    I am facing that and i pray God to strenghten me and grant me the heart of Jesus Himself.In Jesus name!

    • Chito permalink

      The same with me but i know God’s Grace is sufficient for us.

  28. Jen permalink

    I just had an experience with someone who was speaking badly about some people I love very much. My first response was anger! I was really convicted as I read this! I know the Lord wants me to love and have compassion on her. Lord, give me grace today!

  29. Huda permalink

    I’m finding it very challenging to deal with tenants who are very rude and complaining; mean to my girls and accusing…i manage a senior apartment building and 99 % are elders; four ladies are very hard to deal with on a daily basis; I need to learn to love them with words and actions. One of God;s many tests of my faith and I want to fulfill it. Please pray!

  30. Dutch permalink

    WOW! The Lord Jesus Christ has the best plans for us ever, even if we don’t know how they are working! Praise the Lord!

  31. Angela permalink

    I have to keep reminding myself daily. But luckily I may have disappointment in my heart towards others but no hate!

  32. Cierra permalink

    Yes! Challenging it is!…God is still pressing through me and there are some things I need to change. Its starts with changing your mindset and way of thinking.

  33. marcia permalink

    it is really challenging dealing with rude people i am very hasty and i am trying to deal with that i have recently found christ and i find it difficult to just walk away i pray about it and i believe the lord is answering me but it hasnt fully gone away i do pray i will get away from that soon though thank you for the readings i dont always get to read the scriptures but i will try to read them frequent i have a question for you what is your say on seventh day adventist

  34. Noni permalink

    I am in a conflict with one of my clients.oweing him a for a long time now and i have no morney or any source to pay.things went wrong in my business and i had a very big lost.he is threatening me..GOD i am reckless and dont know what to do

  35. This message came to me in Gods perfect timing. It is very difficult for me to forgive my enemy. Especially because of the extent of pain they have caused me. But I have learned once again this week that the Father loves us all. And my sin has caused Him much pain. But he still gave His beautiful Son for me. And for them. Love one another as He has loved you!

  36. Cecilia K. permalink

    Oh my its not easy for being turned down so many time I have trouble forgiving those who have been rude in my life, please help me Jesus to work on my behalf of being rude to others. I want to love them just the way I love myself N kids.

  37. Gee permalink

    Challenging indeed! I find i cannot do it in my own strength, only God can work it out through me. I have had experiences where I find that my own side of the story did not matter because people had already made up their minds what to believe. At that time i actually handed it over to God because i felt there was no way out, but I prayed for ‘peace’ and He gave me Exodus 14:14’the Lord will fight for you and you shall have your peace’ ‘perfect peace’. I was able to forgive and let go. Our God is more than able. and He daily equips us to live each day.

  38. Valerie M. permalink

    It’s kinda funny I ran into this b/c I am having quite a hard time with my husband right now….My husband and I are just not on the same page at all spiritually. He’s so worried about himself all the time and is just an angry person, and is always complaining about everything and just plain rude lately. It’s been so hard for me not to get defensive and fight back b/c it hurts so bad when it comes from someone who is supposed to love you so much. When I don’t fight back I notice he comes and says he’s sorry like a half an hour later after he calms down. If I fight back it makes it so much more heated and overwelming. I know GOD doesn’t want me to fight and argue with him. Kill em’ with kindness like my grandma always told me.

  39. Maria permalink

    Wow. This one’s for me! It has been eight years that I have been on the recieving end of someone’s rudeness and disrespect. For two years I just “put up with it” until I started taking action and now allow them to come into my house or my front door for that matter. When they would call my tone said it all. So, for the last six years although I would not be rude back, I just did not deal with this person and now I realize that I should have dealt with it with love. How much farther could I be if I had done this for the past eight years? Well, at least today is not too late to change thank the Lord!!!

  40. Robin permalink

    i ponder the question as too how much is enough when it comes to loving our enemies. Do we love them once and move on? or keep putting effort into loving them, praying for them constantly, while going out of our way to love them. Particularly speaking of people who interfere in marriages, homewrecker types.

  41. Shirl permalink

    Hi Mark,
    Yes, this verse is challenging. I did not follow this command for so many years. It cost me my job of 20 years. Thanks to God for working out the detail to my benefit and He has supplied my every need in my later years. He is also teaching me where I did wrong all those years of not loving my enemy. One of the gifts He has given is my neighbor. She and I are not friends but she became very ill. We sent flowers & cards to her in the hospital and prayed for her. God has healed her and brought her home. What a gift…!!! Thank you for your messages and your insight to these verses…
    God bless,

  42. Ogbonnaya permalink

    Nw I undstnd why I should show real luv 2 all.I jst pray dat d only True, Wise God wil continue 2 deal with me in al area of my life dat needs Him.God bless you.I have a friend dat needs assurance dat his sins are forgiven.Wat do I tell him?

  43. NANCI BROCKETT permalink

    wow! that’s great!! yes He does have a plan of us all dutch. thank you for your comment.

  44. Ilda Pyke permalink

    Yes, it does to me… There is this person in our housegroup, seems no reason he is always rude to me. In normal life people don’t put up any rude comments or behaviours. Why we are?!

  45. Champo Muyembe permalink

    Xtrimly chalengin as i hv jus hd a teribo heartbreak n thot ov so many wayz 2 get bk @ hm 4 hurtin me, bt thank God 4 dis word as its rili helpd me alot. Thank you, God bless you 4 helpin us learn Godz word mo n indepth providin undastandin so ov the word. Amen!

  46. This is perfect. I had a coworker who had been trying to get me fired for years, she slandered and defiled my name by falsely accusing me of stealing money, a tv, a laptop computer, a vcr and my own new radio. This was in 1999, she had tried up until 11-20-09 when my dept was laid off. I have no idea to this day why she would do this. She claims to be a christian, yet her actions are like trying to mix oil and water. not gonna happen. What is funny is I have forgiven her for what she has done. She still has a job for now. once the contractor billing goes automatic she will be laid off too. I dont understand people like that. no one believed her.

  47. Rev. Star Lyn permalink

    The following story speaks volumes about what you are talking about Mark. We never know what is really going on with the person who is being rude. It rarely is totally about us.

    Just Another Day
    By Star Lyn

    It was hot and humid that Arizona day in September. Our monsoon had come early that year and had stayed late. We were ready for a break in the weather. All we needed was for the dew point to drop below 55 degrees for more than three days, ending this necessary but uncomfortable season. When the heat is up, along with the humidity, and after weeks of the unstable weather, tempers seem to flair a little easier, tolerances are strained and life seems to be on the edge. People tire quickly and find that they just don’t have the energy that they have during the rest of the year.
    It is important for you to know the conditions that were being experienced that day. It was on a Friday late afternoon, around 5:30 p.m., I remember it so well. The Labor Day weekend had finally arrived and everyone was anxious to leave this hot town and head for the cool mountains with their majestic pine forests or the serene beaches of Mexico and California. It was the last chance of the summer… the final retreat that would have to last for quite awhile. Traffic was backed up for blocks. I could see the waves of heat rise from the pavement and off the hoods of the vehicles around me. The air conditioning in my car was on the max and it still was sticky. I could see the despondency and irritation in the faces of the people in their cars, as they slowly passed by.
    A little way ahead of me, I noticed a beat up pick up truck trying to exit a shopping center parking lot. He was trying to inch his way out, but people were blowing their horns, yelling at him and closing the gaps. It was strange to view this odd scene, because it was like they all got together and decided they would work together and prevent his entering “their world of the road traveled”.
    As I crept slowly toward the man in the truck, I was invaded by thoughts of wonder and observation. How the human being, even with the training of society, still had the basic animalistic patterns that allow them somehow to communicate on a wave link basis, on a subconscious level I would think, so that they follow the lead of another…even when they don’t know why or for what reason they do so. It was like someone had sent out a memo stating that when they reached a certain place, and there was someone trying to get into the flow of traffic, everyone agreed to prevent him from accomplishing his goal. Well, I didn’t get the memo.
    As I gained my ground, and got closer to the situation, I saw that the man in the truck was getting really upset. He was waving his arms, obviously frustrated and angry. It didn’t take much training in lip reading to clearly be able to read what the man was saying. As I approached, I could see the hopelessness and aggravation in the man’s face. I sensed a deep feeling of sadness in this man, one that was so powerful and deep that it was falling into an abyss. It was so strange. I felt as though the Holy Spirit filled me at that very moment with an overflowing amount of love and compassion for this man. I wanted to weep for him, hold him and let him know that God loved him.
    I finally came to the driveway and when the traffic ahead of me moved on, I stayed where I was. The man had been looking away. He all of a sudden, looked at me, expecting me to floor it I guess. I motioned with my hand that he could proceed into the lane. I nodded my head slightly and mouthed the words, “God Bless You”. Our eyes met for what seemed like an eternity. Time stood still and we connected in a way that you usually only hear about. But this was real. I could feel his anguish, his pain, and there was an incredible overwhelming sense of anxiety.
    As the man pulled the dilapidated vehicle into traffic, he continued to look back at me. It was like he just couldn’t believe that I let him out. He had an inquisitive look on his face that was almost comical, being that it went from severe anger to confusion, to disbelief to questioning. Remember, this all happened within seconds of real time.
    I watched as he went ahead a couple of streets and turned down another. I thought about him for awhile, went about my journey home and let the man drift from my mind, as we usually do with strangers. I went on with my life, raised my children, became a grandmother and was pretty happy about the world in general.
    The day came when crushing news to crumbled my world. My grandson, Tommy, only 3 years old, had developed a very rare brain tumor. It was located deep within the brain and there was little hope of Tommy living to see his 4th birthday. We were devastated. We prayed. We cried. We prayed some more.
    Then we got the call. There was a young doctor, one of only two or three in the world who specialized in a very intricate procedure that may just be what was needed to save my grandsons life. Dr. Anderson agreed to review Tommy’s case and after many tests and sleepless nights by all of us, he took on the challenge. Surgery was scheduled for the very next week.
    Dr. Anderson performed a miracle that day. Tommy continued to improve, all signs of the tumor were gone and he is now a healthy 10 year old. We thank God everyday for sending Dr. Anderson to us and for guiding his skilled hands that allowed our Tommy to live.
    You may not see the relevance of why I have shared these two seemingly separate stories with you today. Well, they aren’t really separate at all. Let me explain.
    Before the surgery we asked Dr. Anderson if we could pray with him and he gladly agreed. He said he was a Christian. We felt pretty good about that and let me tell you there wasn’t a dry eye in the waiting room. God was there with us and went with Dr. Anderson into that surgery. I am sure of it.
    After the surgery, and during the subsequent visits, we had a chance to visit a bit with Dr. Anderson. I asked him how he came to know the Lord. He told me the most amazing story. As he spoke of a time many years before, a lump formed in my throat, there were tears rolling down my face and I could hardly breathe. I actually became a tad hysterical as he continued to tell his story.
    It was about 30 years ago, when Dr. Anderson was only 5 years old, that his daddy came home and had been crying. He had never seen his father cry. As it turned out, Brian, that was the man’s name, had been to a store where he had purchased a box of shotgun shells. His life had been more than he ever bargained for; a sick wife, three kids under 5 years old and another on the way. He had been laid off from yet another job in the last 6 months and the rent was 3 months past due, with eviction coming the following week. He didn’t know where to turn, he was angry, frustrated and at the end of his rope. He had given up on humanity, the fairness and kindness that he used to think was part of it. The only solution was for him to end it. Yes, he was going to go home, load his shot gun… kill his family, then himself. He knew this would send him to hell, but it couldn’t be any worse than what he had been living.
    Then, just when he had given up all hope that anyone cared, a women, (yes, I was that woman) showed a little kindness and changed the course of what was to be. You see, Brian, (Dr. Anderson’s father), decided that if there was one person who cared, one person who could be nice to a stranger…then there must be others. There must be hope for a future.
    Brian didn’t kill his family that day. After some help from a church, which just happen to send someone to his house that very night, he got back on his feet and eventually gave his life to Christ. He raised his children as Christians, and his son grew up to save the life of my grandson.
    On that hot summer day so long ago many lives were changed by the single act of innocent kindness.
    It was just another day.
    Whose life did you change today?

  48. Caryl permalink

    Definitely challenging however, I find it far more difficult when dealing with friends and family members who are rude as opposed to when dealing with strangers. Understanding agape love and forgiveness is what helps us to deal with rudeness in a more positive manner.

    • Agreed! It makes me sad that my own grandmother is a Christian, yet she’s so rude to animals! She always throws objects on cats. At least not to people, but still…:-(

  49. I just went through this today. I had a lot of phone calls to make and most of the people were short & very snippy. But I remembered the love of the Lord and I remained kind, I even put a little song in my voice & told each one to have a nice day. This is the day the Lord has made I will be glad and rejoice in it. That’s what we profess. I think Satan uses people to try to make us forget that, but I try to embrace it.

  50. Kaye permalink

    I try so hard to be gracious in this area but one thing I have a hard time getting over is when folks at church aren’t honest and you know it. It bothers me that one particular individual and their family have a huge portion of the church snowed with who they are and how wonderful they are. Most of the people in our age group have them figured out but the older generation doesn’t see it. I am having a hard time letting go of some pretty awful things this person has done to me, especially because we were close friends for a few years. I want to move beyond it but I struggle with that will of mine to be “right”. It’s so frustrating. But by God’s grace I guess. I will keep praying about this issue.

  51. Lisa permalink

    I am having deep problems trying to forgive my ex flatmate we are both christians but things turned sour and even after i moved out i stilled cared for here, but she did the unforgivable that she has got an harressment order out an me, i know that Jesus forgave me for my sins by dying on the cross, but hpw can i forgive her for doing an unchristain act. Can i dtill love that person without forgiving them.

  52. Annette Reynolds permalink

    This is very challenging for me….I have had a friend that I have been there for and they only come to me when they need something…they constantly bring up who I was…and not seeing my growth in Christ. I still love them but I have to do it from a distance. Its hard not to be mad but I have peace with my decision.

  53. Dorothy Hall permalink

    this is an interesting subject because it is one of the main ways the enemy attacks us.learning to let go and let God is what I attempt to do. I cant fight every battle, so I pick my battle and leave the rest to God. He is not finished with me. I know if I dont quit I will win..

  54. Carla permalink

    I needed this so badly today! My husband and I had some major plumbing problems over the last week and just paid to have our entire house re-plumbed. It cost us $3,000 for the job and after the techs left, we found 2 small leaks – both as a result of the techs not tightening some connections. But, still very upsetting to me. When I phoned this morning, much to my amazement the owner of the company was very rude and snippy with me. I thought of all the ways to give his business a “black eye” via the Better Business Bureau, a letter back to him and maybe even a letter to our local newspaper’s editor. After reading this, I know that God spoke to me thru you (your Facebook posting). Thanks so very much for reminding me that I am a Christian and I must stop and remember that when dealing with others. God loves me when I am not perfect, so what else can I do but the same?
    Thanks again. I will now write a letter to him directly and express my concern that maybe I wasn’t what he wanted to hear the first call of the day on a Monday morning. Pray for God to give me the right words.

  55. Carrie permalink

    wow, i definately needed that…Im a senior in highschool and im one of the qu iet girls. i dont talk much. i love people in general and i love being the wallflower and watching people interact. but on occassion i find myself feeling bitter and irritated because there are a number of students who hate me for no reason. i never did anything to deserve this treatment. but i do my best to turn the other cheek and i try so hard to be the person God wants me to be… its tough sometimes to respect and care for those who would rather see you suffer. but God calls us to be a light and he he tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves so thats what i must do through all circumstances. God Bless

    • Kathy permalink

      Hang in there Carrie!! You are a light in the midst of darkness and whether you know it or not you are making a difference in this world. The enemy-the devil- would have you be depressed and give up but dont let him do it. Love, love, love. Forgive, too. That is not a feeling it is a choice. BUt also realize that not everyone will like you no matter how nice you are. I am 45 years old and have seen it over and over in my life and the lives of others.
      Shake the dust off of your feet and let it go when others hate you or ignore you for no reason. THe bible says to rejoice when men hate you for the gospel’s sake. Sometimes they are just jealous of you and other times they feel condemned because of sin in thier life that it is convicting to be around someone who has the Holy Spirit residing in them. Be Blessed! Because you are a blessing! Cherish the few that do love you and dont worry over the rest!!

  56. carrie permalink

    This verse couldn’t have come at a better time. This past week has definitely been a challenge dealing with my MIL who isn’t a Christian. It’s like the devil is using her to try and steal my joy. She has been talking nasty about me to everyone, but I feel encouraged to keep praying for her and put the situation in God’s hands.

  57. Renee Love permalink

    I believe this word was directed at me for the simple reason as I have not always been very nice to those who have treated me badly especially in my own family..boy what a bad witness that has made me. I believe this scripture is good to remind me to watch my words and actions and to make sure thay are pleasing to him not just to make me feel better. Thank you Mark this was a great verse and one my pastor also made reference to yesterday.. God Bless and keep up the wonderful work.

  58. Nontando permalink

    This is quiet a challenge and i believe God is talkin with me directly as I’ve seeking 4his response. I was fuming drivin back 4rm work,was even swearing because i cudnt believe my boyfriend’s arrogance. We’ve been having the same problem eva since and i’ve been loving and supporting him but now i feel like its not worth it but my heart tells me its the battle worth fighting because its not my fight but God is fighting for me. I need things to work out,please pray for me!

  59. Pam Dye permalink

    Thank you Dutch! When I read your comment it sure made me think about things happening in my life and that is exactly why I get thru each day KNOWING that God has a plan for my life and because I stick with it God is proud because this shows that I BELIEVE His Word and His Promises. I can testify to you that No Matter what your situation is ‘God is in Charge’, if you let Him be and there is No going wrong there….so hang in there brothers and sisters, even if it’s by the skin of your teeth because it is God who has made them strong enough to hold. Be blessed.

  60. Lora Lindsey permalink

    This is a very hard one for me also, without God’s help. If I pray for God to give me the right words, right actions and right attitude before I leave the house, then I’m usually amazed at how calm I can be in the midst of rude people. I usually find myself totally guided by the Holy Spirit, and also more relaxed than I would normally be. If I operate totally on my own, I end up being rude also. It’s as simple as that. So I just love the Lord and hope to lean on Him more and more!

  61. louisa permalink

    Oh boy this surtanly change me , I live in a place were being rude is a normal thing. For years i have just not responded to there rudeness but after 10 years or so it gets to you. If one is not rude back you just dont get attended to or you just dont get what you came for. What a stupid sistem i live in. But comeing back to Gods work it reminds me to not fall into that trap . And i am determent to shake it off and do what is wright again to walk in Love in spite of the sistem here. But it is a eye opener for me today reading that passage . Loveing your enemies and do good to them . Dont know if thy will see it but its a challenge to try again. Thankyou for this eye opening .

  62. Vicki Peterson permalink

    Wow Rev. Mark… this is really a good lesson to learn… to love as God loves is hard, but with time and patience we learn to do this instinctively… as God enables us to do so. This has been a challenge of mine this past year too on different occassions, and even at times when I was out right deceived and hurt over the past months… I continue to try to love these individuals, respect them and pray for them… I have for the most part managed to remain courteous to them, respectful, and even kind, but inside I have been hurt over and over. I continue to try to do good, and seek God in this… and trust Him in everything!!! I also am seeking prayer and Healing for a dear beloved friend with pancreatic cancer, I know the medical Dr’s say it is hopeless, but I know different with my Lord.. and ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE… would you all please pray in agreement with me in prayer for my beloved friend… Thanks.. I love you all and you too Rev. Mark… and your awesome staff!!! Love, Hugs, and Blessings, vp

  63. Terise permalink

    When others do things that hurt me, I try to remember this: Hurting people hurt people. Then my heart turns towards compassion, which I find is much healthier for me than anger.

  64. I have always tried to incorporate being tolerant to others even though sometimes they are not tolerant towards me but this gives me more hope in applying letting go and loving even though people fall short such as myself.

    Thank You Rev. Mark

  65. Jimmy permalink

    There are so many times I have failed to practice this. The lord gave me my wife, who practices his word daily and has words of kindness in the face of enemies, and helps me realize the truth in this.

  66. I just have to tell my story. Without being rude in detail, a young lady whose father used to be my husband contacted me last week and was so rude that I cried for days. I couldn’t get past it; however, I have moved on. This passage today was meant just for me (not really; however, God makes no mistakes.) It has meant so much for me to read this and study it. Thank you! I did lash back at her because I was so hurt and felt I needed to defend myself. Forgetting that God takes care of me.

  67. Brenda Coffey permalink

    One of the hardest things for me to do is trying to be nice to someone who is rude to me. There are people who I speak to but because of their dislike for me they do not speak back. Am I suppose to keep speaking to these people or do I stop and just continue to pray for them…I use to speak to them and if they didn’t speak back I would speak back to myself as if they did it, but I was only being a smart aleck. I was told that the people that hate you or dislike you are only pushing you closer to your blessing as long as you stay in the will of God. So please pray that I continue to stay in God’s will and love them no matter what.

  68. Kristen permalink

    This scripture is especially useful in working a customer-service based job. Most of the customers I work with are pleasant, but every once in a while I encounter that one bitter soul who tries to ruin my day. I just shake it off and remember Jesus.

  69. Bertha permalink

    ok…you might not believe this but, today at work (i am a waitress) wow a customer really tore me up..i did repond with anger and even bought her food (not out of a good heart) i did exactly what the devil wanted me too…now i see this and read it with my heart and soul..i Pray that if this comes to me again i will do like Jesus instructed… i want God to burn this in my heart so i will not be ashamed and He will not be dissapointed.

  70. When someone is rude to me i just wait till they are done, excuse myself, then walk away. This is probably the hardest thing I have to do. Once i get thru it I start to praise God for his mercy and love

  71. Lynn permalink

    God gave me this scripture and also the one that tells us to pray for and to bless our enemies when He was changing my heart and ridding me of all the anger and hatred that had lived in my heart after many years of abuse,. i was told that the 1st step in healing was for me to forgive. that sent me off in a rampage and i said they didn’t deserve to be forgiven to which i heard His answer “niether did you” WOW!!! what a wake up call. so i started out fotgiving my abusers as an act of my willm then it was, God please help me to make this forgiveness real in my heart, and in a couple of years He made it real. gone was the anger and hatred i had carried all those years. now i am able to pray for those who try to hurt me or despitfully use me. it’s not always easy, but with God as my strenght, i can at least walk away and pray for them, as i was once in their shoes.

  72. Snoozie permalink

    Right on time Mark! I have been struggling more than normal lately with this very thing. After a few weeks I finally got on my knees (literally) and asked for forgiveness and asked that, ” He create in me a pure heart and renew a right Spirit within me”. There wasn’t an instantaneous change but after being consistent for a couple of days things did begin to change. Just today I heard the Lord remind me, “…7 times 70…”. Talk about being hit between the eyes! It’s hard, believe me I know, but we have to remember that we are only responsible for our own actions, not those of others. Besides the battle is not ours cause we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against spirits in high places. Hey, let’s try to count it all Joy!

  73. Amy permalink

    I agree with blessing your enemies and those that curse you. However, Jesus also instructed his disciplines that when people reject you to shake the dust off your feet and move on. I have wrestled with this situation for the last four years and I just don’t believe that God said to be a punching bag. He did say to bless and be kind, but He did not say to sit and take it forever. You can forgive and be kind, but also move on and just avoid if possible. If a person has the choice of being in the center of something that will cause you to sin or to avoid the circumstance and just pray for the individual, common sense is just that….something that should be used.

  74. Darcy permalink

    Definitely a challenge to be loving in return. . . and my encounters with rudeness are not always from strangers or near strangers, but more often from friends and family members. I don’t usually attempt to respond in a rude manner as I am often too stunned to respond at all, so I don’t normally have retaliation in mind. I am more likely to give the situation a bit of space to think about it, if I can, and then try to reasonably respond and discuss the situation.

  75. Ross F. permalink

    whoa … big time challenge! … but ‘do-able’ when totally subject (commited) to Jesus. Aye, there’s the rub … still in the flesh, but dead to …

    Very, very tough.

  76. This does challenge me because I’m struggling with people being rude towards me and I’m wanting to get even. This kinda of helps me see that I need to calm and only show them how much love God has given me to spread around to everyone else.

  77. Sandra permalink

    Loving this scripture. Over the past few nights I have been attacked by some of my firends about my faith. One calling me brainwashed and others just making fun. I was struggeling to keep a smile on my face and especially because they were my friends, I didn’t want to have any hostility towards them. Sometimes it’s harder to deal with when you get this from your friends then strangers. Over the past few nights God has been spaking to me about just loving those who offend you. It encourages me more to let go of any hostile feelings in general and just love others with the love that God has given me!
    Be blessed!

  78. Rose Reese permalink

    The scripture is very challenging. Your views are very helpful. Thank you.

  79. Griff permalink

    It is ONLY the Jesus in us that can possibly see this occur. Jesus life exchanged for mine. By his life I live in this way.

  80. ferdie permalink

    if people is rude to us, i know God wants to test us in the aspects of our character,patience,obedience and love… if we are truly faithful to his word….if we could really love our enemies!… 1Pe 4:8 And above all things have fervent love to yourselves, for love will cover a multitude of sins….if we really apply the the agape love that comes from the LORD, we can love even the unlovable….GODBLESS!

  81. new mommy permalink

    here recently i have been really struggling with this same problem of loving my enemies. i am going through a really hard situation in my life and have been feeling like i just dont even want to know certain people. they really hurt me and has caused a lot of on going problems and some not so bad (depending on how you look at it) things to occur. this has really kinda slapped me in the face here telling me that if i want God to forgive me of my trespasses toward him i must first forgive this person of what they did to me. thanks for putting this here because it is helping me get over a really huge pothole in my life at this moment!

  82. Susan permalink

    Am smtimes really rude with people and it affects my relationship with them.pray God help me overcome

  83. Sheryl permalink

    I keep a prayer journal, and this scripture will now be in that journal for me to look at frequently and also to write down my reflections. I am hopeful that the lessons to be learned here will help me cope with situations where I have been treated poorly with rudeness, but also to help me refrain from being rude to anyone else.

    I read through every one of the comments left so far, it is amazing that almost every one of them contains the word “challenge”, Rev. Mark, I think you really struck a cord here~ something that we all can relate to and see how our lives can be impacted in a greatly positive way. Thanks for all you do!

  84. Laura permalink

    I have recently gone through some of the same as Sandra, with what felt like personal attacks on my beliefs in Jesus Christ as our Saviour. This was from a family member. It was so hurtful, but I kept praying and asking God for help with the situation. In the end, this family member did accept Jesus as his saviour. I am not so happy.

  85. brendadee permalink

    I am usually very calm and don’t talk back to people when they are rude. Nevertheless, when they really get on my nerves I do let them know…I think is a good thing to let people know that I have Jesus in my heart, that I love them but that I won’t allow them to mistreat me; after all I’m the daughter of a King!

  86. Every day I read these, and you always tell me the same thing: exactly what I need to hear. Thank you Rev. Mark!

  87. ..we r in the same cage,i understand this verse,love ur enemy,long time ago,actually i’v practice it alredy,praise GOD 4 that.GOD gave me a heart of understanding people who dont accept me bec. of me…lol…well,im struggling about brethren who can deliveratly snob u inside r church…aahhh…am i like that too???am i just sensitive to notice that????GOD forgive me..if this happen to u bro…wat will u do???

  88. Leonarda permalink

    Tremendous challenging Scripture. A young man that i ever work with, care and love so much as my own son and even ever proposed him to be my adopted son is now become my enemy. Even though i apply Jesus Holy life in my daily life, it is truly hard for me to be nice in spontaneous with him which have been years i loved and care so much, but suddenly being rude with me. Especially when he gave me the reason that he being rude with me because of my kindness to him. The way he expressing his feeling, hates and anger by shouting to me really hurts me and it is very difficult for me to avoid from having argument with him which at the end arising provoking between us. I am so regrets with what had happen and i am in deep depression. I tried to being nice to him by forgiving him so i am forgiven too, but i have no courage to do it. I am afraid that i will not forgiven. I prayed for His mercy to guide me and show me the way to mend the broken relationship. I went see a Priest to get some advices. I went to retreat house to get my self closer to God. Still doesn’t help much. I search and read every articles concerning how to be humble. I replied and shared in every blog concerning how to love others as Jesus love us. Rev Mar, your sharing today touching me so much. Please advice me what should i do? Should i take the first action to call him? I am afraid that my action will bothering him. Thank you and God Bless!!!

  89. Flora permalink

    What a timely topic! I have had the worst day at work ever. I work in a two person office, and my co-worker who claims to be a born again Christian acts like the devil most of the time. She is rude and cranky and rebellious to the 10th degree. We have worked together going into 6 years, and I found myself in the bathroom “again” today fuming and asking God why? Why is this person allowed to continue working here and making me miserable, and in the midst of MY complaining God brought me back to the place “AGAIN” where this scripture has been my rescue in times past. I realized that I was “letting” this same old garbage get to me “again” for a couple of reasons. 1) Satan knows my weak areas, and when I am “weak” from not reading and meditating on the Word, or getting enough sleep or rest or anything that supports me physically, emotionally and spiritually like I should, Satan shoots his poisonous arrows right into my heart and I start to focus on “me” instead of grace and mercy and trust, and 2) I forget that God has ALLOWED this person to be in my life to help purify MY heart and to get my junk out in the open so I can get rid off the dross in my heart and become more Christlike.I have to remember that Life is a test. An opportunity to overcome evil with good. To love the unlovely. I remember now that it is a slap to the face of the enemy by doing the unexpected-loving that mean spirited person… because how else will they see God’s love? This is love. That Christ died for us (me) while we (I) were yet sinners! I am saved by grace, and that not of myself it is a gift from God almighty-I wonder though if we will ever really “arrive” to a place that we are every truly FREE from this type of thing-or if it is something we have to overcome continuously…..?

  90. How is it possible to be kind to someone who is abusing you and wants nothing more than for you to die? I asked my parents for help and at first they said yes but then they got mad because if I leave him now they will loose out on a motorcycle being given to them and it is so hard for me to not be hurt, sad, and angry that my parents think a motorcycle is more important than my safety.

    • We’ll be praying for you. Is there anyone else who can help you through this time? Someone safe, like a sister or aunt? Or a refuge that helps women who are being abused?

  91. Kathy permalink

    You are a kind person and if you have been kind to this one and he has turned you away you may need to leave him alone. For some reason in this life there are those who do not like us. It is hard to accept but true. Some relationships are not meant to be. We are not meant to be in the closest relationships with everyone we meet. So if he does not want the friendship you cant force it. Let God through the Holy Spirit and scripture heal you of the hurt of the relationship ending, and forgive the young man. Maybe if you back off he will come back to you as a friend. If he doesnt then he can just be an aquaintance, someone you say hi to but no more than that. God will give you other close friends if you ask. Jesus will be your best friend and will never forsake you,
    he is a friend that is closer than a brother. God bless you. You are a precious soul and dont let this situation keep you from growing in the Lord.

    • Leonarda permalink

      Thank you so much for your sharing . Its really helps me to be more open to accept the fact that, not every relation will be as we want to be. Sometimes, to love and care to others is not like something that we requested to be happen, but it will grow by itself after we being close with the person. No wonder, some time we forgot there are so many out there that we can choose to be our friend. Thank You Jesus for being my best friend.

  92. WOW! This is challenging! Over the last year or so, I’ve had several people treat me very rudely. My 1st reaction was to think of revenge. However, I did not react with revenge. But boy, was I ever fuming for a long time! One person inparticular has continued to speak ill of me. I have been consumed with anger and bitterness for a long time. Ive prayed for these people for a long time and gradually felt a little relief, but nothing peaceful. If I am to speak lovingly to my enemies, how does one do this with venom on their tongue?

  93. this is so helpful with the situation im in now.this is going to help me to be the better person in my situation.

  94. Lety permalink

    Just like week my divorce was finalized after four long years. My now exhusband and his witness took the stand and said very ugly hurtful things about my charcter integrity and my parenting. They sat there claiming to be Christians and lied after swearing to be truthful. My initial reaction was hurt, i considered these people to be family and still had much love and respect for them. i defended myself without putting down my ex in fact I told the judge he was a great loving father. I refused to stoop to their level and showed nothing but the upmost respect for them. When the ruling came out in my favor I looked at my ex and saw that God immediately made him humble and showed him that lies got him nowhere he looked truly sorry for what went on in the court. The support system that was with me throughout this process were outraged by what the heard and saw in court and tried to get me to react in a similar manner. On my way home from court I stopped and prayed I thanked God for the blessings He a bestoyed upon me but more so I prayed for my ex and his family I asked God to forgive them and open their eyes so they can see the error of their ways. Since then I have been able to have a couple of short conversations with my ex and asked them if for the sake of our daughters we can try to be friendly and he agreed to try. Though many are telling me that I have no reason to be nice to this man I know that God wants me to show him love if for no other reason for my daughters. They deserved to see a life full of love even for those that dont always seem to deserve it. Carrying a grudge or having hatred towards another weighs far more on you then it does on them and I need my strength to carry the many blessings God has given me and has yet to deliver unto me.

  95. Lydia Reyes permalink

    It is very challenging to be able to control ourselves while someone is rude to us or hurt us in any way. As I see it we are God’s work in progress. As we grow in the walk with God we need to be dependant of him who everyday is helping us be more like Jesus. The example that Jesus left for us in forgiveness, loving those that treated him so badly ,persecuting him and even those who were for him ,turn away from him as he was dying on the cross and yet He loved us so that he tells The Father to forgive us for we don’t know what we are doing.If that can’t help us to do the same, reach out to God and ask him to send his spirit to guide you, Believe me he will. I am a witness to that.

  96. marie julian permalink

    these comments were from sincere hearts and God will honor them for obeying his commandments. Thou shall not hate

  97. Brad permalink

    Y’all are trying so hard to live by the Bible.

    Studyin’ them scriptures and TRYING to apply them to your lives.

    That’s not what Jesus intended at all.

    He said , “. . . the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he [it] shall teach you all things” . . (John 14:26) . . . “when He, the Spirit of Truth is come, he will guide you into all truth. .” (John 16:13)

    Jesus never said I will send a “book” to teach you and guide you. He sent back the holy Spirit that He shares with His Father in heaven. . .on the day of Pentecost, and from that day forward. . first to the Jews, then to the Gentiles. If you are not baptized with the Spirit, you’re not able to live in the Spirit, although the Spirit might be near you. Jesus said we must have the Spirit IN us. There IS a difference—a difference you can feel—a difference you can KNOW!

    Don’t search the scriptures , trying to find “life.” Come to Jesus for LIFE!!!! Certainly, keep ahold on the BIble, as well, for it is a valuable and holy book, but it’s not meant to be our exclusive guidebook. Be FULL of the Spirit. Just repent and ask God for it. Then you will know what I’m saying is true. (John 5:39!!)

  98. I agree that apart from Jesus, we can do nothing. And drawing from our own “well” will only lead to frustration and defeat. I am bankrupt. This “well” is empty apart from the Holy Spirit infusing life into me. So, lately, when I see I’m falling short, I repent, and ask Him to meet the need.

  99. Brad permalink

    I would warn you against using that silly name, Yaweh, which happens to be in vogue. The KIng James’ Jehovah is just fine.

    Nobody , not any scholar, knows the correct spelling or pronunciation of God’s name.

    Yaweh is a name that Satan loves, because it glorifies him, by deceiving the masses into thinking that it is God’s name. In truth, check out the origin of “Yaweh.” In Latin, (the Roman language) it was a word that was originally the name of the chief of all demons—Jove—pronounced the same way that you say Ya-way.” Better consider the source. Christians are being deceived more than they can possibly realize.

  100. I just ask god to deliver me from people, remember satan uses people.remember any thing that people do to you , or say to you does not matter. if it does not kill you it will make you stronge.

  101. Milly permalink

    Wow, God really speaks to His people in many ways. I was in that situation yester morning.
    A client called the office so agitated why their order was not met on Saturday as had been promised by one of the sales people.

    She was so rude and spit fire, and all i did was just hold the line from the other end and wait for her finish talking. She talked non-stop and i kinda got worked up, then i asked her what she had ordered for so that we could supply soonest.

    That feeling kept coming back into my head and heart and i felt hurt every time i thought about it.

    After reading this message, i felt a relief and i knew that, it is expected fo me to forget about the incidence and forge ahead.

    Thanks you for the lovely and uplifting message.

    God bless you

  102. Thanks for this reminder, some people can really make you forget about Jesus and make you want to blast them off….Thanks again…I really needed this

  103. Beverley permalink

    these words really touched me. I love my sister we are both christians and because of some misunderstanding she banned me from speaking to her, so i don’t. I keep turning the other cheek but i guess i will continue to do so.

  104. This is an interesting post. I feel the exact same way. I find it very difficult and Challenging. It’s all about finding a balance I suppose as you don’t want to be used as a target for people’s negitivity.
    When someone is rude to me I will say something to them about it, however, I’m never rude in response. I feel that works for me and gets it off my chest without having to be rude or hateful in return or keep those emotions within.
    I don’t wish them any harm, but loving someone who has upset me is very difficult.

  105. ugochukwu christian clinton permalink

    I’m very happy to meet a topic like this,every day of my life i meet people like that,i pray to God to give me streingth to overcome that,i thank God today i can even eat with my enemies.

  106. Diane permalink

    I had some people being rude and back stabbing to my husband and me for no reason from church . i think thier excuse being rude that we bought a second home for retirement in near future. I know they are jealous and wish they had the same thing but some of people not doing God’s will in their lives . I thank the Lord for blessing us regardless what s happening around us and in our lives. We are pressing on forward and do His Will.

  107. Gee permalink

    I just want to say, thanks for this.

  108. lori permalink

    I struggle with this challenge many days. I have taken on this love, I have tried to embrace the people who are not nice and may hurt me. I fall so short sometimes. When it hurts because it is frequent or because it is someone close to you, how can I embrace and love that person?

    • I think there are times when tough love and setting boundaries is completely appropriate. Especially when it’s a loved one. We can become too comfortable and start taking others for granted.

      When someone gets aggitated over nothing, I distance myself by cutting the conversation short. “I’m sorry, I need to go.” I don’t act rude or angry, I just take a step back. Then they have time to evaluate their emotions and decide if they’d rather have my friendship or their anger.

      And I expect the same from family. If I’m in a bad mood, they’d be completely justified in asking me to be more pleasant or to leave. I may not like their response, but it would remind me that they’re not obligated to see me. Their kindness is a gift, and they deserve my respect.

      It may be helpful to meet with someone at your church, to talk and pray about this.

  109. mazrine mccullar permalink

    it is so hard to love people that hurt you,but in order to be right in gods eyes I guess you have to make due..I have been hurt alot lately and I’m glad I read this..it made me think and I will start today..

  110. Evelyn permalink

    Pray for Sarah Palin. They are being rude to her. Also to any conservative.

  111. Cecil permalink

    When people are rude and I retaliate, I ask myself what does that say about me? Proverbs 15:1 says, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

  112. Praying that God strengthens Sarah, her family, and all those in the media spotlight who honor God with their lives. May their persecutors be convicted of their sin, may their eyes of understanding be opened, and may they come face to face with Jesus Christ, as Saul of Taursus, and be saved.

  113. Prying that God will help my brother and his wife. Also my mother in her situation and health. And for me, that I don’t say what I want to but do as God will have me to do.

  114. bob w permalink

    Ever tried witnessing to an athiest, you truly do have to put this verse in your hip pocket!

  115. Mitch permalink

    God truly speaks to us in many, sometimes mysterious ways. I was hurt by a close friend and fellow worker in the Lord right in front of new believers by rebuking the way I was sharing the gospel. It was meant as a joke she said but I know it was not proper. She has ways that could really encourage you but she could be very domineering and self righteous most of the time. I thank God for the spirit of forgiveness and meekness to face such challenges…We will not allow the enemy to get hold of our emotions and reactions, rather, we ask the Holy Spirit to comfort us and give us the courage to go on, as long as we live and move through His loving guidance. Through your posts God has again spoken to me. May He continue to bless the work of your hand. Glory to God!

  116. Pam Dye permalink

    I am uplifted by all the messages that are submitted here. Thank you all for your fellowship. We all need Him. The whole world is in His hands.
    God Bless you all and keep us growing in His Word and Spirit.

  117. I am continuously amazed at the way God guides me to ways that I can improve myself…..on things that are going on in my life right now. I recently had an issue with someone very close to me and it was very painful. I seemed consumed with how “I” felt instead of on how I should react to the situation. I reacted wrong, totally wrong. When in the heat of the moment it is very hard to react the way God wants us too, simply because we are humans and not perfect. Everyday is a new day to learn and re-learn and re-learn. I think God led me to this website today for the first time to re-learn how to handle conflict with others, not by responding to harsh words with harsh words but by being loving and kind. I pray that I will remember this action the next time a conflict comes up and I hope you will all pray for me. I am not responsible for anyone other than myself and I cannot control how they will handle things, I can only model how God wants it to be done by acting how he wants me to act, sometimes easier said than done but I am going to get up, dust myself off, and try again the right way! I guess that just proves that I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS AND HOW THEY REACT, it is my responsibility to model God’s way and teach them about love and kindness whether they chose to do it themselves is up to them but it is my responsibility to act appropriately to show others about God. WOW I always learn something new that seems to come out of nowhere when I am trying to walk the right path! God’s love is AWESOME and I am so undeserving!

  118. Becky permalink

    I wonder if this verse isn’t a description of how to forgive. Think about it; it might send us on our way to forgiving if we first find what is valuable & good in the person who has hurt us. Then, if we can listen past their words to hear their heart, (anxiety, fear, pain, for example), we can say (or do) something good for them to hear. This will allow us to acknowledge what is wrong in the situation, but address it with love.
    “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” but only a person who loves can do this kind of verbal surgery well. Until you love them, how can you address the tender areas in another person’s life with meekness & gentleness? (Gal. 6:1)

  119. Sister Pam OP permalink

    I cannot tell you how much this speaks to me. I worked in several high stress jobs. People tended to take out there frustrations on one another resulting in incivility and rudeness. The ongoing rule of the work environment was, ‘whoever is meanest and nastiest wins.’ That included deceit, manipulation, yelling, swearing and a frission of anger. Finally, the stress made me very ill. I tried harder and harder to “do things right, better, to be above approach.” Well, that didn’t work! It only made things worse. Even success resulted in anger. My body just started to shut down and I was forced to quit due to illness. Thank God for that!!! I mean that literally. Three years later I see that the situation was unfixable unless there was a major intervention. That never happened. I now see the people involved as being victims. When I think of the damage they did I breathe it out with a prayer to the Holy Spirit to help me forgive and give them the spirit of forgiveness. I breathe in with a prayer to the Holy Spirit to help me love and to help them love. I still have nightmares about those couple of jobs. When I wake up, I pray for healing for myself and the others involved.

  120. so deeply

  121. Adrienne permalink

    This scripture challenged me two weeks in a row on the same exact day and around the same time of day. I had a co-worker send an e-mail directed at me but instead she address everyone in the dept. The following week she was rude to me in the prescence of parents and other co-workers. I was very angry and I had to ask the Lord to help me because I really wanted to tell her off. It wouldn’t have been in love. I have prayed and asked God for a spirit of peace and calmness. When I let it go, I mean truly let go of the hurt that’s when I truly experienced that peace!!!

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